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  1. #1
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Default Are NFs nastier to each other than NTs are to each other?

    So the more I read this forum the more I realize that when NFs are offended they are nasty to one another and this escalates by making the other person offended. I guess it would make sense, but what's up with that? I'm guilty of it too, but I don't want to add to this discussion so I'm leaving myself out of it. If you don't mind I would like to be the observer since I'm the one who's confused.

    And how does this compare to the NTs?

  2. #2
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    In my experience NFs can be downright cruel during a tiff (both NF-NF conflict and NF-anything else conflict). I don't know if I've ever seen NTs fight other than the kind of verbal sparring that most of us enjoy.

    EDIT: In real life, that is. On the internet NTs can be pretty vicious.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  3. #3
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    I don't think I've seen NF fighting. Am I Blind???? Well, Lauren Ashley and someone else kinda went after Blackcat recently, I guess there was that...

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    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    What do we mean by fighting??? I've heard NT's say things to each other like "your such an asshole, no really, you are" or "you should just kill yourself loser" and if I remember right something like "your life is so pathetic that you should just kill yourself right now".

    I have NEVER heard any NF say anything like that! Other than disagreements and differences in interpretation, I can not think of anything that even comes close to see NF's "fight with each other"

    As such I reject the original hypothesis of this thread

  5. #5
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    I think NT fighting online may come off differently because it's not easy to tell when statements aren't emotionally charged (no body language, no inflections). If we have the same disagreement in real life, it's more likely to be calm.


    I often find myself as a mediator when my F (N and S) friends fight in real life. They can get carried away when they perceive a slight and they keep ... pinging ... each other. That's a good way to put it: pinging. Like in a pinball machine.

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    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    What do we mean by fighting??? I've heard NT's say things to each other like "your such an asshole, no really, you are" or "you should just kill yourself loser" and if I remember right something like "your life is so pathetic that you should just kill yourself right now".
    I might call someone an asshole if they really push me, but I would never say any of these other things. Ever. And I've never known an adult NT to say any of these things.


    S-types, on the other hand ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    What do we mean by fighting??? I've heard NT's say things to each other like "your such an asshole, no really, you are" or "you should just kill yourself loser" and if I remember right something like "your life is so pathetic that you should just kill yourself right now".

    I have NEVER heard any NF say anything like that! Other than disagreements and differences in interpretation, I can not think of anything that even comes close to see NF's "fight with each other"

    As such I reject the original hypothesis of this thread
    I say stuff like that if I'm really fucking mad. And I'm definitely not a T.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    Never been in a fight with an NF, simply because I don't know many personally, and the ones I do know, I don't know well enough to fight. NT-NF fights can be brutal....one of my former roommates was an INTJ. He was a good person, just when we got into fights it was vicious with name-calling on both sides and then refusal to talk to each other with my ISTJ roommate trying to calm everyone.
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  9. #9
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keps Mnemnosyne View Post
    Never been in a fight with an NF, simply because I don't know many personally, and the ones I do know, I don't know well enough to fight. NT-NF fights can be brutal....one of my former roommates was an INTJ. He was a good person, just when we got into fights it was vicious with name-calling on both sides and then refusal to talk to each other with my ISTJ roommate trying to calm everyone.
    I've had some downright vitriolic arguments with an INFJ I used to know. I mean really bitter, brutal stuff...Ahh the good old days...I haven't had that kind of argument in a long time.

    The only other NF I can think of that I saw fighting with anyone was an INFP girl who really hated this ESTP guy, and again, bitter, angry accusations. I'm having a hard time thinking of NF-NF fights actually...I never see NFs concentrated anywhere in real life.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  10. #10
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Yeah, I cannot really think of a true 'fight' with anyone in my life who has the NF. We've had heated disagreements but not real drag-out fights. I think of my friend who is INFJ, and I think the worst exchange we ever had was like:

    ME: I think you're being really narrow minded.
    HIM: How can you say that to me? That hurts.
    ME: OK, I'm sorry, I know you're not narrow minded but you've kinda got tunnel vision right now.
    HIM: And YOU DON'T???
    ME: I acknowledged your goddamn side already, repeatedly!!
    HIM: No you didn't!
    ME: Yes I did! If you'd stepped out of your tunnel long enough you might have heard it!
    HIM: Ha! That was funny. I'm still mad though.
    ME: Ha! I know, it's cool.

    Yeah, like, really ferocious and shit.

    The real FIGHTS I've had have been with those I know with the SP. We kiss and make up, but it gets FIERY. It's equal on both sides though, both of us telling each other exactly what we think, then not speaking to each other for a few hours, then coming back after reflection to work it out. I think these are the healthiest and ultimately CONSTRUCTIVE 'fights' I've ever had.

    I am not sure I've ever had a 'fight' with the SJs I've known. They just sit there while I express how I feel and take the "I'm a pacifist so I'm not saying anything" position, or "I'm not doing this because it's stupid and I'm above it" position. I would say that has gotten me the nastiest, because invalidating my feelings/thoughts/POV will set me off more than anything I think.
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

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