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[MBTI General] Are NFs nastier to each other than NTs are to each other?

Little_Sticks

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So the more I read this forum the more I realize that when NFs are offended they are nasty to one another and this escalates by making the other person offended. I guess it would make sense, but what's up with that? I'm guilty of it too, but I don't want to add to this discussion so I'm leaving myself out of it. If you don't mind I would like to be the observer since I'm the one who's confused.

And how does this compare to the NTs?
 

poppy

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In my experience NFs can be downright cruel during a tiff (both NF-NF conflict and NF-anything else conflict). I don't know if I've ever seen NTs fight other than the kind of verbal sparring that most of us enjoy.

EDIT: In real life, that is. On the internet NTs can be pretty vicious.
 

Scott N Denver

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I don't think I've seen NF fighting. Am I Blind???? Well, Lauren Ashley and someone else kinda went after Blackcat recently, I guess there was that...
 

Scott N Denver

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What do we mean by fighting??? I've heard NT's say things to each other like "your such an asshole, no really, you are" or "you should just kill yourself loser" and if I remember right something like "your life is so pathetic that you should just kill yourself right now".

I have NEVER heard any NF say anything like that! Other than disagreements and differences in interpretation, I can not think of anything that even comes close to see NF's "fight with each other"

As such I reject the original hypothesis of this thread
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

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I think NT fighting online may come off differently because it's not easy to tell when statements aren't emotionally charged (no body language, no inflections). If we have the same disagreement in real life, it's more likely to be calm.


I often find myself as a mediator when my F (N and S) friends fight in real life. They can get carried away when they perceive a slight and they keep ... pinging ... each other. That's a good way to put it: pinging. Like in a pinball machine.
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

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What do we mean by fighting??? I've heard NT's say things to each other like "your such an asshole, no really, you are" or "you should just kill yourself loser" and if I remember right something like "your life is so pathetic that you should just kill yourself right now".

I might call someone an asshole if they really push me, but I would never say any of these other things. Ever. And I've never known an adult NT to say any of these things.


S-types, on the other hand ...
 

Thalassa

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What do we mean by fighting??? I've heard NT's say things to each other like "your such an asshole, no really, you are" or "you should just kill yourself loser" and if I remember right something like "your life is so pathetic that you should just kill yourself right now".

I have NEVER heard any NF say anything like that! Other than disagreements and differences in interpretation, I can not think of anything that even comes close to see NF's "fight with each other"

As such I reject the original hypothesis of this thread

I say stuff like that if I'm really fucking mad. And I'm definitely not a T.
 

Keps Mnemnosyne

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Never been in a fight with an NF, simply because I don't know many personally, and the ones I do know, I don't know well enough to fight. NT-NF fights can be brutal....one of my former roommates was an INTJ. He was a good person, just when we got into fights it was vicious with name-calling on both sides and then refusal to talk to each other with my ISTJ roommate trying to calm everyone.
 

poppy

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Never been in a fight with an NF, simply because I don't know many personally, and the ones I do know, I don't know well enough to fight. NT-NF fights can be brutal....one of my former roommates was an INTJ. He was a good person, just when we got into fights it was vicious with name-calling on both sides and then refusal to talk to each other with my ISTJ roommate trying to calm everyone.

I've had some downright vitriolic arguments with an INFJ I used to know. I mean really bitter, brutal stuff...Ahh the good old days...I haven't had that kind of argument in a long time.

The only other NF I can think of that I saw fighting with anyone was an INFP girl who really hated this ESTP guy, and again, bitter, angry accusations. I'm having a hard time thinking of NF-NF fights actually...I never see NFs concentrated anywhere in real life.
 

Gloriana

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Yeah, I cannot really think of a true 'fight' with anyone in my life who has the NF. We've had heated disagreements but not real drag-out fights. I think of my friend who is INFJ, and I think the worst exchange we ever had was like:

ME: I think you're being really narrow minded.
HIM: How can you say that to me? That hurts.
ME: OK, I'm sorry, I know you're not narrow minded but you've kinda got tunnel vision right now.
HIM: And YOU DON'T???
ME: I acknowledged your goddamn side already, repeatedly!!
HIM: No you didn't!
ME: Yes I did! If you'd stepped out of your tunnel long enough you might have heard it!
HIM: Ha! That was funny. I'm still mad though.
ME: Ha! I know, it's cool.

Yeah, like, really ferocious and shit. ;)

The real FIGHTS I've had have been with those I know with the SP. We kiss and make up, but it gets FIERY. It's equal on both sides though, both of us telling each other exactly what we think, then not speaking to each other for a few hours, then coming back after reflection to work it out. I think these are the healthiest and ultimately CONSTRUCTIVE 'fights' I've ever had.

I am not sure I've ever had a 'fight' with the SJs I've known. They just sit there while I express how I feel and take the "I'm a pacifist so I'm not saying anything" position, or "I'm not doing this because it's stupid and I'm above it" position. I would say that has gotten me the nastiest, because invalidating my feelings/thoughts/POV will set me off more than anything I think.
 

dani_elle

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I can be downright nasty if I get really, really pissed. But I think its partially because I don't let it all out when it comes and I can somehow accumulate a lot of resentment. Plus I don't usually get really, really pissed.

Don't think I've fought with a F but maybe with my sister who is a T.

I think the way T's fight are a little more detached and downright cold whereas F's may fight indirectly.
 

jenocyde

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Thinking back on my irl interactions:

When I have argued with an NT, cold and sometimes bitter observations were made and it never really bothers me. Especially if the things said were true. When I had, or was witness to, arguments with STPs or SFJs, it tends to get physical, with pushing or throwing things.

The nastiest people I have ever witnessed were ENFJs and INFPs who have said and done things solely to hurt. Some of it fabricated or exaggerated beyond recognition. Very very nasty stuff indeed. I've witnessed ENFPs do things to get back at people, like faking pregnancies, rather than say nasty things outright. Online, the INFPs shock me more than anyone else.

Even after all of that, I am not convinced this is type related. Some people can just be assholes while others don't like to "take it there". Depends on how you were raised, I guess.
 

entropie

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Nasty ? I am never nasty...

*runs his finger gently over jenocydes arm*

you still got some icecream on it from the weekend, see you later in our forum :heart:
 

Hexis

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My friends predominantly consist of NFs and NTs. One its very hard to offend any of us. And two, to outside perspectives we probably look like we hate each other. We take playful banter to a whole new level, but its who we are.
 

teleforce

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What do we mean by fighting??? I've heard NT's say things to each other like "your such an asshole, no really, you are" or "you should just kill yourself loser" and if I remember right something like "your life is so pathetic that you should just kill yourself right now".

i say things like that all the time, but always in jest. that kind of language i reserve for friends, actually ('cause they know i'm not serious). when i am seriously arguing, my style is cold. i pick out things the other person says that "don't make sense," but usually won't go deeper than that.

my idea of nasty is getting personal--saying things that can really jab at a person's heart. NFs can be quite good at this, i've noticed. they seem much more sensitive to flaws of character rather than of impersonal logic, and if they take the argument there, it can be quite devastating for an NT. at least for me i feel like i'm in unfamiliar territory and i find it difficult to argue that way.

some of the NFs i've fought with were extremely good at saying "look who's talking" in a way that just hurt. that stuff shuts me up. i mean you can't really logically argue your way out of things like that, if it's true.

to answer the OP question, i think they're just nasty in different ways. who's "nastier" would be a matter of perception.
 

SerengetiBetty

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I'm going to go with NT just because it's very easy for us to say offensive things without meaning any offense whatsoever, so imagine if we really wanted it to hurt? At least, I've noticed this in myself in both IRL and online.

In my youth, especially during college, I had a very quick temper and would maliciously direct my NeTi to examine an individual and use that gathered information against them. The aftermath was not pretty and I ended up looking like Satan incarnate not only to the person I was focusing on, but also those unfortunate enough to be witnesses. As a result, I now keep that nuclear NeTi option securely locked away and really see no reason why it should ever be used.
 

SerengetiBetty

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haha I just read the OP instead of skimming it. My response was generally speaking of who's nastier.

who's nastier to each other : I'm going to go NF vs NF, just because of that feeling function. I think NT vs NT would turn into a war of words trying to prove who can out think the other until they both realize they are having fun being challenged.
 

PeaceBaby

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i think they're just nasty in different ways. who's "nastier" would be a matter of perception.

:yes:

And so many dynamics at play. But I would say that when pushed, really, really, REALLY pushed in a fight, I would tend to stoop low and say something that could hurt you emotionally. Nastily. Just to shut you up and get you off me. But then I would feel bad that I did. SO the net gain is zero.

But I think the real battles and misunderstandings come between type rather than within. I don't think I've ever had an NF - NF battle.

Of course my brand of nasty is pretty tame anyway ... if I say the "f" word the earth stops rotating around the sun for a second, reeling at the shock of it.
 

kiddykat

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To me, it's about Respect. In general, with NFs I encountered IRL, should there ever be any kind of tension- it's mostly a gentle nudge- "hey, I'm upset.." and we either support each other and talk it out, or laugh at it.

It depends on how much we respect one another. I think anyone can be nasty towards anybody, depending on how spiteful that person is, and how much resentment they hold in..

I think the nastiest types are the ones who say the most subtle/vicious things in front of everyone, when it's least expected as a way to berate/make the other person look bad in a bureaucratic, group conforming kind of way.. I tend to gravitate towards those who are genuine/happy, because happy people don't do those things. And, those who do resort to playing games, antics, and social bullying.. well, I feel sorry for them, because I wonder how they can live like that day-in-day out. How authentic can that be?
 

runvardh

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NT fighting... I thought they just debate stuff. Us NFs on the other hand get too emotionally charged and rip eachothers hearts out when we get the motivation and the chance. Then again, I sometimes wonder if my understanding of it is because I start half of them on this board.
 
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