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[INFJ] INFJs don't seem overemotional

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
I read somewhere that INFJs are the second most sensitive type, behind INFPs. That rings true to me, because I am extremely sensitive and easily hurt (though I often don't reveal this), and probably the only people more sensitive than me that I've ever met were all INFPs. However, as far as demonstrative emotion, I would guess that INFJs rank behind many other feeling types in that.

oh right...that makes sense...they are sensitive aren't they...i get this feeling like i'm always accidentally offending them....more than any other type...forgot about that...yeah.

and sorry if i've ever offended one of you sweet people! :hug:
 

mockingbird

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
249
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
I relate to much of this. Thanks for the understanding.
I completely understand you. You feel their pain and want to help but you don't want to end up being clung to either, you're also aware that you might be the only person they can go to so the last thing you want to do is turn your back on them. You might be tempted to offer advice but they don't take it, they keep coming back with the same stuff like a skipping CD until you finally realize they just need to hear themselves talk until they can sort it out for themselves. The bizarre thing is that they're your best friend until they manage to find their way out their hole, then you rarely hear from them again. It's similar to the wild bird with the broken wing.

This might be a me thing and not an INFJ thing but I have a real issue with commitment to just about anything. I'm always concerned I will get involved with a cause or a person, become disillusioned and want to back out but I know that calling it quits causes me grief. I don't want to let anybody down and I get disgusted with myself for not seeing it through. When I was younger I would find myself carrying on with projects long after everyone else had dropped out. Sometimes people would gave me a gift or a luncheon to show their gratitude thinking I was doing all that work because I was dedicated and while I felt a bit of satisfaction that I was being thanked the truth is that the thanks didn't amount to it's full measure with me because I had spent so much time feeling resentful. Eventually I learned to say no, I learned to keep my distance and I learned to voice my dissatisfaction if I had to. I also learned that just because I can pick up on subtle clues to someone's emotional state, most people aren't as tuned in or turn a deaf ear if it suits them. I have to be pretty certain I'm going to be OK to see something through before I say yes because there's always that chance I'll get completely caught up in it.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I read somewhere that INFJs are the second most sensitive type, behind INFPs. That rings true to me, because I am extremely sensitive and easily hurt (though I often don't reveal this), and probably the only people more sensitive than me that I've ever met were all INFPs. However, as far as demonstrative emotion, I would guess that INFJs rank behind many other feeling types in that.

this sounds very true for me and the infps i know irl too. i seeth inwardly for days and days sometimes when i've been offended by some callous or confrontational remark given me by someone who has taken something i've said out of context or misconstrued it. it just happened in fact by my neighbors who are both women and (i think) enfj and estp. the enfj is very, very tough and civic minded. the estp is confrontational and gossipy, yet very politically correct and savvy. i am 'what you see is what you get' as far as i genuinely like you when i'm hanging out with you, and if i really like you and feel comfortable around you, i can be sassy and very direct (smart ass? haha), but i think others aren't used to people talking like that (especially from me), and they take offense when they shouldn't, then are downright mean back to me, or exclude me, which hurts my feelings. :cry: people just don't know what to make of me, i think. i don't really fit in, nor do i want to.

but i don't think of myself as outwardly emotional at all. i usually come off as easy-going and laid-back. if i'm feeling otherwise, i avoid people.

oh right...that makes sense...they are sensitive aren't they...i get this feeling like i'm always accidentally offending them....more than any other type...forgot about that...yeah.

and sorry if i've ever offended one of you sweet people! :hug:

haha. well, i am very genuinely loving and warm, but not always sweet. but that's just me.
 

simulatedworld

Freshman Member
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
5,552
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
INFJs are certainly the least overtly emotional NF type, and probably the least overtly emotional type in the entirety of the Feeling dominion (with the possible exception of ISFJ...those people are WAY less emotional than they seem; they just recognize that appearing emotional at the right times is very useful, much like INFJs.)

I've actually mistaken the more skilled ones for ENTP before because they imitate that mode of operation so well and they figure that looking like an ENTP will be the best way to get what they want from me...in reality it's just Fe learning to blend in seamlessly with its cultural surroundings. It's truly amazing how they can do this.
 

bcvcdc

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
215
MBTI Type
INTx
I dont show emotions if I visit some bloke thats a nerd


With non scientific hang out pals I might though
 

lillyofthevalley

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
157
MBTI Type
INFJ
INFJs are certainly the least overtly emotional NF type, and probably the least overtly emotional type in the entirety of the Feeling dominion (with the possible exception of ISFJ...those people are WAY less emotional than they seem; they just recognize that appearing emotional at the right times is very useful, much like INFJs.)

I've actually mistaken the more skilled ones for ENTP before because they imitate that mode of operation so well and they figure that looking like an ENTP will be the best way to get what they want from me...in reality it's just Fe learning to blend in seamlessly with its cultural surroundings. It's truly amazing how they can do this.

I'm impressed with your observation. I'm able to quickly observe and mimic personality types. If you were to see me at work (sales) or at a party, I will be sweet and demure with one person, gregarious and witty with another, short and to the point with someone else (just the facts, mam). It's a natural skill that serves me well. The up side is that everyone likes me. The down side is that occasionally I'll get stuck with people that I don't find interesting and of course...nobody really knows me.
 
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