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  1. #21
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post

    I am emotional, but I also prefer not to 'impose' (for lack of a better word) my emotional state on most people, as for one thing, it is often a momentary emotion and I have yet to work through it/process my feelings/thoughts, so don't want to expose it prematurely, and for another thing I simply don't think there is a need to introduce my mood into most conversations - it would serve no purpose.

    I will be more open with those I really trust, and show them that side of me, but I am always careful because I feel I have many sides to my personality, and feel most people can handle only a select % of myself - say, person A can handle/accept 50% of my thoughts and emotions, whereas person B maybe only 20%, whereas person C an entirely different 20%, etc. That's another reason I am selective.
    This a good description of myself as well. I also divvy up different parts of my emotional world depending on what (I think) others can or want to handle. I don't like to show anyone a high percentage of my emotions. Even with my husband who I am completely myself with and trust 100%, I only show the messy emotions to him when I have to, which doesn't happen very often. When it happens he's great about it. It's still hard to get out of the lifelong habit of concealing my emotions when others are looking, even with him. I suppose I don't like to trouble him with them.

  2. #22
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    I'm very emotional. However, my emotions are pretty much hidden and under control. I'm very calm and NT-like. To me, overly emotional means lack of control over feelings. Letting the car drive itself, so to speak. And INFJs make tremendous drivers in the world of emotions (and very bad drivers in the physical world )

    A person whom I thought was an INFP took the test and he was an ISFP instead. Anyway, he's the most ridiculously overly emotional human being. And he's very poetic about it. If he doesn't feel like picking up a sock from the floor, he might go: "Oh, the sock is far beyond my limitless reach and my bones ache from the very thought of moving. I feel like the sky had fallen on me, crushed and helpless, screaming for help ". Then he can't move for the rest of the day and wallows in his magnified pain. I like helping people by listening to their problems, but that guy drives me nuts. His problems are often so minor that it annoys me when he goes on and on about them and makes them like the world was ending. I have bigger problems myself and I'm not saying a word.

    Is that typical for ISFPs? I thought maybe some of the emo-INFP traits you talked about might be misplaced and belong to ISFP instead? I don't know.

  3. #23
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    The INFJ I know is very verbal and effusive with her feelings. She never shuts up (in a good way!). I definitely know when she doesn't like something and when she does.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  4. #24
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    The INFJ I know is very verbal and effusive with her feelings. She never shuts up (in a good way!). I definitely know when she doesn't like something and when she does.
    I'm like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  5. #25
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Yeah, I think it messes with peeps heads sometimes because I will say "I feel so hurt" but unless they are very close to me, it does not "show". Those I trust and feel safe with will see everything, those I don't will just hear about it for the most part.

    I'm expressive with enthusiasm and excitement, I'm expressive when I'm irked by something, but I can swallow hurt and pain like nobody's business. I can swallow it so well that sometimes I don't even realize I was hurt by something until I get alone and it hits me.

    I can get my point across about how I feel with words and inflections, but for someone to have access to the raw, fresh emotion I have to be close with them. For me personally, I grew up in a family that would wield that stuff like tools and use it against you or deconstruct the validity of it right to your face. Hence, I just don't let just anyone 'in here'. I can talk about pretty much every emotion I've had and why, I'm open in that respect, but letting people SEE it is a different story.

    Logically I know very well that no one can take anything away from me that I do not let them take, nor can they step on something I don't let them step on. I've had to do a lot of work rearranging my way of thinking and not be so sensitive.

    Still, at the end of the day, when someone shows me their emotions and how they feel, I consider it a very precious thing not to be fucked with. I'm not talking about mollycoddling someone either, I mean that even if I'm up front about my perspective on any given situation, I try to take care never to invalidate a feeling or emotion. I guess I just do not trust that the same respect will be provided to me by someone I don't know well, and so I am choosy about whom I let see my emotions or feelings in their rawest form.
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  6. #26
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    INFJs are the least overly emotional of any F type, by a long shot.

    It's often said that they're as close to NTs as one can get without actually being one.
    Wow, so not my experience. But, I guess, like stated earlier, it is different if you are in a relationship with one.

  7. #27
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Wow, so not my experience. But, I guess, like stated earlier, it is different if you are in a relationship with one.
    I CONCUR!!!!!! My first really important boyfriend was another INFJ. It was so emotional and kinda extreme (I was 14 at the time).
    Last edited by ReadingRainbows; 08-30-2009 at 04:00 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  8. #28
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    I hadn't considered the fact that his F could be higher than mine.

  9. #29
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Having my emotions all hanging out all over the place in public would be the symbolic equivalent of dropping my drawers in the middle of a busy shopping mall. The emotions are there, I just don't feel that everyone needs to see them.
    I can relate to this, and I tend to feel things slowly and deeply. It can take me a while to react. I have never found the T or F descriptions to fit with how I think or experience the world.

    Being able to regulate my emotions to achieve a goal is important to me. I will make most important decisions based on all the information I can collect which includes emotion, but is not limited to that. My mind is driven towards integration of diverse elements and perspectives which are of an abstract nature. I struggle with the concrete.

    It could be something like the INTJ emphasis on creating efficient systems, but I prefer emotional systems to be simple, efficient, and without stress. Dramatic displays can be entertaining, but in the end wear me down because I can't keep up. Negativity for the purpose of competition and displaying social toughness/dominance also looks like inefficient expenditure of emotional energy. I'm not social by nature because such displays of image creation and group perceptions are subjective and constantly shifting to the extreme. That type of social/emotional energy is absent in me. I value letting the people do whatever pleases them, but for my own little world, I seek out a kind of reasonable pleasantness that allows myself and those close to me to focus on what we find most interesting.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  10. #30
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Having my emotions all hanging out all over the place in public would be the symbolic equivalent of dropping my drawers in the middle of a busy shopping mall. The emotions are there, I just don't feel that everyone needs to see them.
    Yes, I do tend to keep emotions to myself for this reason. Still, I do feel that most INFJ's are less emotional than other F types. Eric B has theorized type correlations here. I've studied it and it seems pretty solid. He suggests that the INFJ is a Melancholy-Supine/Phlegmatic (60% Mel 40% Supine or 60% Mel 40% Phleg), which is rather odd since the pure Melancholy comes out as a T and a pure Supine/Phlegmatic an F). The real significance of this mixture is the INFJ is the only type that has Melancholy as the dominant personality while coming out as an F - any other produces a T. This may explain why INFJ's seem T-ish.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

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