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  1. #11
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by MFJAGgernaut-B View Post
    By the latter point if you haven't guessed they're under that much pressure before setting them off, you deserve everything they throw at you...
    In my experience, this is typical INFJ upset face, mercilessly clinging to a self-righteous belief that they are 100 percent justified and you are 100 percent of the problem.

    Best thing to do is to totally refuse to engage them when in this mindsate and if possible just leave the physical area.

  2. #12
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    The emotions are definitely there. Many people who don't know them well see them as generically "nice" because they are fairly private, somewhat easily embarrassed, don't like to impose and want to be able to handle things in stride. Those who know them well will see a lot more variation - more opinions, conflict, goofiness, sense of humour, sadness, happiness. (They will also have much higher expectations of these people than they do INFJs will only cry in front of only a selected few and even then try not to bleed all over the road. Sometimes it takes awhile for them to figure out though that it is better to express some negative emotions before they become too strong and more bewildering for their SO to know how to react to. Their SO also really needs to understand that they need someone to listen and talk with to process their thoughts and feelings and without that they need to either find it elsewhere, or wall off more and more of themselves, or become over-emotional much more easily over seemingly small things.

  3. #13
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    The emotions are definitely there. Many people who don't know them well see them as generically "nice" because they are fairly private, somewhat easily embarrassed, don't like to impose and want to be able to handle things in stride. Those who know them well will see a lot more variation - more opinions, conflict, goofiness, sense of humour, sadness, happiness. (They will also have much higher expectations of these people than they do INFJs will only cry in front of only a selected few and even then try not to bleed all over the road. Sometimes it takes awhile for them to figure out though that it is better to express some negative emotions before they become too strong and more bewildering for their SO to know how to react to. Their SO also really needs to understand that they need someone to listen and talk with to process their thoughts and feelings and without that they need to either find it elsewhere, or wall off more and more of themselves, or become over-emotional much more easily over seemingly small things.
    Yes, I agree with this.

    I am emotional, but I also prefer not to 'impose' (for lack of a better word) my emotional state on most people, as for one thing, it is often a momentary emotion and I have yet to work through it/process my feelings/thoughts, so don't want to expose it prematurely, and for another thing I simply don't think there is a need to introduce my mood into most conversations - it would serve no purpose.

    I will be more open with those I really trust, and show them that side of me, but I am always careful because I feel I have many sides to my personality, and feel most people can handle only a select % of myself - say, person A can handle/accept 50% of my thoughts and emotions, whereas person B maybe only 20%, whereas person C an entirely different 20%, etc. That's another reason I am selective.

    So, yeah, to the majority of people in real-life I come across very even-keeled (and, even to those closest to me, I think that's my natural level, most of the time, and the minority of the time I'll fluctuate in either direction...again, if I really trust the person and know they'll accept me even with my at-times very intense emotions).
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #14
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Good points. If I have figured out that I'm just in a cranky mood, then I don't see that as anyone else's fault or problem. Probably means I have neglected a physical need and it's trying to get my attention. If I feel I'm having trouble keeping the ick in, I try to isolate myself or warn those around me that I'm not fit company. They don't need my crap spewing on them, especially since I'll be fine once I take a nap or eat or whatever it is I need to fix.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  5. #15
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Yes, if you are a significant person in the life of the INFJ you will definitely see more of the emotional side. In romantic relationships, especially. In fact, in that case, the INFJ may save most of their emotions just. for. you!
    Lol, this is very true.

    I don't know if INFJ's are the most emotional type, but I think they are the most sensitive type. Everything affects them, and chances are they are feeling what you are feeling (possibly more intensely). I think they prefer to let their emotions out when most people aren't looking though.
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  6. #16
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Having my emotions all hanging out all over the place in public would be the symbolic equivalent of dropping my drawers in the middle of a busy shopping mall. The emotions are there, I just don't feel that everyone needs to see them.
    I second this ^.
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  7. #17
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    This.

    Also, sometimes I just don't care to get too worked up about things. I just think "Okay...nice. Next." Everyday events are not worthy of the energy it takes to gush about them. Fe-ing all the time drains energy.
    Oooh, and this is so true, too.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
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    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
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  8. #18
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    INFJs are the least overly emotional of any F type, by a long shot.

    It's often said that they're as close to NTs as one can get without actually being one.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  9. #19
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    So, yeah, to the majority of people in real-life I come across very even-keeled (and, even to those closest to me, I think that's my natural level, most of the time, and the minority of the time I'll fluctuate in either direction...again, if I really trust the person and know they'll accept me even with my at-times very intense emotions).
    You know, reading this thread validated my hunch on INFJs. The I think I have met and know a few INFJs (including dating one) and also from this forum - INFPs and INFJs are very different. It's just 1 letter off but the cognitive functions are totally different. Like what Heart alluded to - being perception led (Ni or Ne) as opposed to feeling led (Fe or Fi) makes a big difference. And Fi vs Fe makes a huge difference. Fi is more receptive and emanating a vibe whereas Fe is more action-oriented and gives a person more of a caretaker vibe.

    I also think INFJs seem much more even keeled and have a sense of solemnity or responsbility about them. The criticism that INFPs often hear (at least on this forum) about being "too sensitive" I don't think INFJs get levelled at them nearly as much or as strongly.

    I think in my personal interaction, when I am talking to an INFJ I dont' feel those Fi waves emanating or feel something brewing under the surface like I do with an INFP.
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  10. #20
    meat popsicle r.a's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Yes, I agree with this.

    I am emotional, but I also prefer not to 'impose' (for lack of a better word) my emotional state on most people, as for one thing, it is often a momentary emotion and I have yet to work through it/process my feelings/thoughts, so don't want to expose it prematurely, and for another thing I simply don't think there is a need to introduce my mood into most conversations - it would serve no purpose.

    I will be more open with those I really trust, and show them that side of me, but I am always careful because I feel I have many sides to my personality, and feel most people can handle only a select % of myself - say, person A can handle/accept 50% of my thoughts and emotions, whereas person B maybe only 20%, whereas person C an entirely different 20%, etc. That's another reason I am selective.

    So, yeah, to the majority of people in real-life I come across very even-keeled (and, even to those closest to me, I think that's my natural level, most of the time, and the minority of the time I'll fluctuate in either direction...again, if I really trust the person and know they'll accept me even with my at-times very intense emotions).
    very well put.
    "All authority of any kind, especially in the field of thought and understanding, is destructive and evil. Leaders destroy the followers and the followers destroy the leaders. You have to be your own teacher and your own disciple. You have to question everything that man has accepted as valuable, as necessary."
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