I've been having a hard time.
There's a man I've known for 15 years now. An ESTP. He was one of my foremen. We got off to a very rocky start which I won't go into, but once the smoke cleared, he was a big supporter of me and gave me chances when everyone else was slamming doors in my face. He was ultra-intelligent and was always frittering with things, impossible things, like a perpetual motion machine. He was cranky and funny and difficult and helpful.
He'd race me to class. He'd invite/allow me to sit on his lectures even when I was no longer under his jurisdiction. He'd provoke me on purpose when he was in a mood and get a big sick smile when I growled at him.
Once, when I was having a really bad day, I was walking past the garage and he called me in. We talked briefly, and as I was leaving, still feeling lost, he called after me, "You're .... different. You do know that?" That changed the entire tenor of the day for me, like being like everyone else wasn't important. I knew he truly cared about me. I needed to hear it.
I had a dream about him. That he was in the hospital. A few days later, my mother told me that he was dying. I fought tears and marched away. After agonizing over it, I broke down and wrote him a letter, telling him what he meant to me. I hope it made a difference. I don't know.
I don't let go of people very well. I'm having a hard time with the connecting threads snapping left and right.
I know we're all passengers in time, but it wears on me brutally sometimes.