How do you guys (all NFs) get along with ESFJ's? My roommate is an ESFJ, and recently she set me off pretty badly for two main reasons:
1. No respect or understanding of my privacy. She constantly wants to know where I'm going, where I went, what I did all day, what my conversation with so-and-so was about. She opens my bedroom door in the morning without asking or even knocking sometimes. She asks me what I'm thinking about at times. She doesn't seem to comprehend the need I have to keep some things private about myself. She seems insulted by my unwillingness to attend every, single social event and talk to every, single person. The time I spend alone seems to completely baffle her.
2. She tries to be my mother. She has a constant need to control, manipulate, and demand. She nags and treats me like a child, commenting on my driving-- when I should put on my breaks, what lane I need to be in, where I'm going, even when I know. She cleans obsessively, and when I try to help, she freaks out if I don't do it right, and barks commands about HOW to do it, which REALLY doesn't sit well with me, since it makes me feel demeaned and humiliated and defeated; there was no way to meet her standards.
Her mother tendencies are the worst, though, when she tries to give me advice (which is all of the time). It's always black and white, rigid, and limited in perspective. There is only one way to do it, and it's her's. I recently told her all about a possible new relationship, and despite me telling her I want to be sure to be wise, careful, and slow about it, she proceeded a few minutes later to tell me how I need to be wise, careful, and slow! It's as if she didn't hear a word I just said! It seems there is no way the relationship could be right in any form. To top it off, I hear her tell me to do/ not do things that are contrary to her own relationship with her boyfriend.
Does anyone have experience with close relationships with ESFJ's? Does this sound at all familiar? How do you, as NF's, respond to this?