User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 61

  1. #21
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Posts
    6,885

    Default

    Okay, I don't get why several people on here nitpick over SJs and ESFJs in particular. Imagine if there were no SJs...our lives would be chaotic shitboxes. I think these people are freaking AWESOME - they bring order, structure and security. They are the ones that make things happen! They are the ones that do the shitty jobs the rest of us don't want to do because we're too 'good' or 'intelligent' or 'creative' for that kind of stuff. But ironically SJs are some of the brightest people I've ever met.

    I had a roomie who is ISFJ (though sometimes I think that's her shadow, but I don't know). You could literally draw a line through our room. One side was hers and one was mine. Mine was perfectly organized, spartan, clean, bed always made. Desk always clear. Hers was full of piles of papers, clothes drying, bed messed up, etc. But it was cool because we RESPECTED each other. And she was very industrious, extremely hard-working, clever, bright, and good at almost everything. We had awesome discussions. She asked me about dealing with people and getting ideas; I asked her about various things. We hung out together and had the best fun. Alas, we were both pretty seclusive at that time, but we stuck together amid the stupidity and chaos and lack of moral foundation around us. And no matter what mistakes we made, we stuck to each other and were awesome friends. To this day, we still are.

    This wonderful SJ has made my life a better place. And I want to say how much I love you guys, and don't listen to these other people ratting on you, because they have probably (alas) only seen NEGATIVE examples of UNHEALTHY SJs. Healthy, balanced SJs like my roommate and friend are absolutely wonderful individuals.

    My grandmother, as annoying as she can be sometimes (God bless her), without her I wouldn't be here today. She took me on as her own daughter although we aren't even blood related. She was retired, could have had fun and whatever, but she raised me and even through rough financial times always made sure all my needs were met. She really is a wonderful woman. And thank GOD she is sJ (or EnFJ not sure) because I didn't have to worry about all this crap like decorating shit and organizing parties and hosting and all that stuff I couldn't give two beans about. She bought my clothes because I am a fashion ZERO and all that good stuff. She is just - amazing.

    So all you guys, stop ratting on these wonderful people. Unhealthy SPs and NTs and NFs are just as much of a pain in the ass as unhealthy SJs (perhaps even more so). Damn. Give it a rest.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    Had this thread been around 3 months ago, i would of got upset over it due to being very sensitive.
    Today, i thought it was cute and i lol'd at it.

    Yeah, we have our problems just like any other type. What's new.
    A year ago i would of been able to relate to a lot of what has been said.
    Today i am in a healthy place so i am able to laugh.

    Funny thing is my mum i believe is an ESFp and she drives me insane. She comes round and cleans my house, she talks forever on the phone and will tell me things she has told me previously. Grrr, lol. She is a very emotional woman who i feel won't cut the apron strings.
    Never mind, she is who she is.

    I have realised though, when i go into my obsessive robot cleaning mode, its due to stress which i don't handle very well. It's my way of removing myself from a situation.

    So it is 2.27pm, i am still in my PJ's, i have just washed last nights pots and at some point i am going to put the hoover around .. Ahhhhh, that doesn't sound very ESFJ does it now???? lmao
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  3. #23
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Posts
    6,885

    Default

    ^^^ Sas, that is freaking awesome. See? That's why I illustrated the example with my ISFJ friend. Everyone would say, "Holy Crap!!! That's an ISFJ?!" She was a great example that broke all the stereotypes - and I, the ENFx, I was the clean one who was persnickety. Gotta love irony.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  4. #24
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    So all you guys, stop ratting on these wonderful people. Unhealthy SPs and NTs and NFs are just as much of a pain in the ass as unhealthy SJs (perhaps even more so). Damn. Give it a rest.
    I think it's great that you have had such a wonderful time with healthy SJs, but clearly your personal experience it not universal. There are questions out there concerning how to deal with certain SP types(http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...eal-estps.html), NT types(The Unhealthy INTP [Archive] - Typology Central), and a pretty long "Hate an ENFP" thread(http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ll-us-why.html). Many people probably come here(especially NFs) to figure out how to work out their issues with a specific type of person.

    Seeing as SJs make up almost half of the population, and many NFs have SJ parents or bosses; from a purely statistical perspective, there are going to be a lot of people on here who have encountered numerous toxic SJs. Yes, toxic NFs and NTs and SPs suck just as well, but us N types are much more difficult to find, and less likely to hold positions of power and authority.

    Probably one of the main reasons forums like TC are predominantly N type is because it is difficult to find like-minded people irl who experience the same issues(relating to temperament) in their SJ dominant families and communities.

    And also...
    d@v3 is awesome, so I will keep an open mind.

  5. #25
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Posts
    6,885

    Default

    I got ya. Not ratting on you, either, just noticing a trend here.

    While we're at it, I'd love to see a thread on how to deal with ISTPs because those guys just stump me. Or actually, one in particular.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  6. #26
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I got ya. Not ratting on you, either, just noticing a trend here.
    Are you saying you noticed it only now? Each type and temperament has numerous hate threads. And love threads. This one is about how to get along with ESFJs. Naturally we are going to share our experiences, good and bad. Especially the bad, so we can learn to cope with them (which is the point of this thread).

    Basically you're implying that some of us are poisoning the air here. I don't think it'd be any help at all if all of us wrote disclaimers like this to all of our posts:

    "What I just wrote doesn't necessarily apply to every person of this type. It doesn't apply to all SJs. It may not represent a healthy version of the type. It may be biased. It only represents the negatives aspects of the type. NFs, NTs and SPs can all suck too. And maybe even more so!"

    Stating how every type can suck is a waste of paper. Too bad we're on the internet

  7. #27
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Someone doesn't have to be "unhealthy" to have negative qualities and flaws either. And whatever the positives of the SJs in my life, I still find certain areas rough in dealing with them because we're coming from such a different perspective. I think that's what this thread is about, dealing with the differences and minor annoyances, not bashing an entire type.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #28
    Senior Member hokie912's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    271

    Default

    I think ESFJs are pretty awesome most of the time. They're outgoing and friendly, and they put effort into making you feel at ease and cared about. They're practically-minded but can be infectiously passionate about the things they love. They make the world work.

    That said, I've experienced significant communication problems with ESFJs, and unhealthy ESFJs are just the worst to deal with. I can't put my finger on how, exactly, but the SFJ and NFJ values systems clash in some senses. I don't really understand the logic behind some of the things my SFJ friends/acquaintances feel strongly about, and I'm sure they feel the same way about my values.

    Unhealthy ESFJs are a headache. Histrionic, passive-aggressive, and extremely difficult to reach. Unhealthy individuals of any type are frustrating, but ESFJs are probably going to share their issues with everyone around them. They seek "advice," but sometimes what they want is for someone to confirm what their feelings tell them to do, and so they selectively listen to what you say.

    As for getting along with them... well, I would say focus on the positives. My life would be a less interesting place without the wonderful ESFJs in it. I try to keep communication lines open and be patient if there are miscommunications (which, honestly, isn't all too often). And sometimes just disengage when things get to be too much to deal with.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    903

    Default

    ESFJs, ESFJs... Tricky subject. I love their strengths to bits (They are soo caring!!) but apart from my best friend (who is an ESFJ) I am going to keep a bit of distance to the ESFJs in my life. I know a lot of them and our relationships always seem to follow the same pattern: We are drawn to each others' Fe (hugs and encouragment and caring vibes!), they really appreciate that I am a good listener but then never stop talking and never truly get to know me (I always remain the calm, kind, quiet one in their perception.) and if I try to show a bit more of myself they either don't get me (N-S clash) or just don't stop talking long enough for me to actually add something to the conversation and show them that there is much more to me than meets the eye. Great friends but I need my distance and being in a relationship with one might drive me slightly insane.

  10. #30
    Senior Member LunaIndigo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    126

    Default

    I've had two different experiances with ESFJ's. One is a girl I know in college whose in almost all of my classes and she is just awesome. She's funny, always willing to help, and an excellent partner for class projects. My bad experiance would be with my ESFJ MIL. She is definitely an unhealthy version of ESFJ. I used to think she was an ESTJ, but her histrionic tendencies told me other wise. She's manipulative, over dramatic about everything, you can't tell her any secrets or she'll blab them all over town, paranoid, and overly controlling. I put on my nice face around her and act pleasent but you should hear my inner monologue. It's not pretty.
    ENFP 4w5

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] Why does she bother me so much? Is there a type that doesn't get along with ENFP's??
    By cheerchick23 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-21-2014, 06:28 PM
  2. How is it I get along with ENFJs long term but not ESFJs?
    By prplchknz in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-21-2011, 10:20 PM
  3. What types do certain types get along with best?
    By Crazydaisy in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 01-12-2010, 03:30 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Do you get along with people of your own type?
    By fidelia in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-11-2009, 12:46 PM
  5. [MBTItm] How do you get along with the SJs?
    By nolla in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 06-05-2008, 03:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO