User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 61

  1. #11
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    480

    Default

    Hmm. My ESFJ friend likes sarcasm and my cooking creations. She seems to like it when I engage her in conversation. But I totally see how they can get annoying, because they do get annoying.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    761

    Default

    Sigh, this thread reminds me too much of some bad dealings with certain folks. ESFJ's in general haven't caused me trouble. The trouble has arisen from individuals who can't handle the intuition and sucky Si.

    By what you wrote I don't think a conversation or trying to make her understand your views by explaining them in terms that she'd get, would work all that well, since she doesn't hear it. There's the chance of trying to wear her down by constantly repeating something (Don't go through my stuff. Do. not. go. through. my stuff. Don't.) without giving into her attempts at explaining, untill she gives in and stops the behavior. Avoiding the interactions that grate on you.. sometimes distancing works best, even if it's a roommate we're talking about.
    After moving out, it took me a long time to get my ESTJ aunty and ISTJ mom to back off and let me have my privacy and do things the way I wanted to do them. Their explanations for the behavior were mostly rational ("We're just doing this to help you, wouldn't it be easier to accept help?")and to an extent guilting. I'd believe an ESFJ to possibly use a different reasoning, so no real help from me on that side.

  3. #13
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Posts
    1,446

    Default

    My mom is an ESFJ and she's alot like that, though she's learned to back off a bit over the years.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


    Badass Promoter ESTPs:
    [sigpic][/sigpic]

  4. #14
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    753
    Posts
    507

    Default

    It depends. I have a few good ESFJ friends, but I they're actually healthy people. Unhealthy ESFJs will drive me up a wall. I can't take it- the incessant want of information that has absolutely no significance to their life and their strange "I'm the leader even if nobody follows me" attitude only annoys me.

    I've been able to get along with ESFJ males, but I don't think I've ever had any sort of friendship with an ESFJ female; the ones I've met are rather shallow at times.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  5. #15
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Posts
    1,446

    Default

    Healthy ESFJs are actually awesome as fuck.

    Especially physically healthy ones. rowr.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


    Badass Promoter ESTPs:
    [sigpic][/sigpic]

  6. #16
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    151

    Default

    the incessant want of information that has absolutely no significance to their life
    Haha. Reminds me of my ESFJ mom. She always wants the most insignificant details on everything. People have said it drives them nuts. She's a really bad storyteller too, because she never gets to the point. When she finally gets to the point (usually when prompted by others), people have become so bored with her that they're not even listening anymore. And she doesn't even expect any input from other other people. I have literally put my phone on the table while she's on the line talking. Then I went to wash some dishes, etc. and then I came back and checked if she was still on the line. Yes, she was still there talking and she hadn't noticed I was gone.

    Few days ago I called her and she said she can't talk to me right now, because she's expecting an important phone call. I said: "Okay, call me later then?". At that point the phone call had lasted about 10 seconds. Everything necessary was said. How she managed to spend over 10 minutes after that explaining to me how she can't talk right now is beyond me and utterly hilarious, yet frustrating... and it was me who ended the phone call. She might have gone forever and ultimately she would have missed her call.

    Well, healthy versions of any type can be nice people... I have to deal with unhealthy types.

  7. #17
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    54 so/sp
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    1,860

    Default

    I have a giant flyswatter for when my OCD-driven neatfreak mom blows into town. Usually ignoring her until she calms down works.

    thinking of you

  8. #18
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRandom View Post
    Neither of them really listens to what I'm saying. It's like they have a filter that blocks everything that's even slightly unusual. Both of them think they know me, but they can't know me if they don't really listen to me. They treat me like a generic guy, even though I'm quite eccentric in many ways. They both give me the most generic advice that would apply to the most ordinary people, but not to me who has different values.

    As funny as it may sound, I think (at least these two) ESFJs are extremely self-centered. As primary Fe, they might seem the opposite of self-centered, but that's exactly how I see them.
    I adore my ESFJ grandma for many reasons, but all of this sounds just like her. The listening thing just kills me. I know my grandma loves me a lot and I am very important to her, but sometimes I feel like she has no idea who I really am. I find ESFJs possibly the worst type at grasping "different" personalities. There's a prescribed way of being for them, and anything outside of that is unappreciated and rejected. Since my grandma loves me, she does this glossing over of my personality, much as she does with anything I say in conversation. I'll finish speaking and she'll just talk about some painfully mundane topic as if she didn't hear one word I said

    Everything my grandma knows about me comes from my ISFJ mom. They both looooove to talk about people's lives, more so than talk to people about their lives .


    Quote Originally Posted by MrRandom View Post
    Haha. Reminds me of my ESFJ mom. She always wants the most insignificant details on everything. People have said it drives them nuts. She's a really bad storyteller too, because she never gets to the point. When she finally gets to the point (usually when prompted by others), people have become so bored with her that they're not even listening anymore. And she doesn't even expect any input from other other people. I have literally put my phone on the table while she's on the line talking. Then I went to wash some dishes, etc. and then I came back and checked if she was still on the line. Yes, she was still there talking and she hadn't noticed I was gone.
    This is my ESFJ grandma. She is perfectly content to talk nonstop about absolutely freaking nothing and not get any actual feedback. In fact, if you try and respond, she'll steamroll over you. It is not a conversation. She simply thinks out-loud and expects an audience

    The way I get along with ESFJs: let them yack on. All you have to do is nod and smile. If they ask you anything, give the briefest, most straightforward answer possible. They will disregard it and hear what they want to hear anyway. Bond over shared experiences. Most xSFJs have a huge sense of nostalgia, and remembering past times makes them very happy. Oh, and give them lots of hugs and call them all the time (and let them yack), and then they will think you are the most wonderful person ever.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #19
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Posts
    1,446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRandom View Post
    Haha. Reminds me of my ESFJ mom. She always wants the most insignificant details on everything. People have said it drives them nuts. She's a really bad storyteller too, because she never gets to the point. When she finally gets to the point (usually when prompted by others), people have become so bored with her that they're not even listening anymore. And she doesn't even expect any input from other other people.
    haha, totally! My mom will go on and on about her work and tangent into different details moreso than I will and just absolutely lose people, including me (because I don't have enough interest in it). She's a receptionist for a health insurance place so we don't understand half of what she's talking about anyway so it's hard to keep up when she's trying to explain technical stuff because of course a few minutes' explanation won't do.

    What a pleasant surprise it was for me to find out she didn't care if I was truly listening or not! haha. She just wants someone to rant to.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


    Badass Promoter ESTPs:
    [sigpic][/sigpic]

  10. #20
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    237

    Default

    My mom is an ESFJ. We get along because we have similar humor, similar depth, and similar values. We generally fight over P/J stuff. She wants me to clean my room, I forget, she takes it personally. Etc. Sometimes I feel like she nitpicks, overplans, and overreacts. She sometimes feels like I don't take things seriously enough.
    Everybody needs love.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] Why does she bother me so much? Is there a type that doesn't get along with ENFP's??
    By cheerchick23 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-21-2014, 06:28 PM
  2. How is it I get along with ENFJs long term but not ESFJs?
    By prplchknz in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-21-2011, 10:20 PM
  3. What types do certain types get along with best?
    By Crazydaisy in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 01-12-2010, 03:30 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Do you get along with people of your own type?
    By fidelia in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-11-2009, 12:46 PM
  5. [MBTItm] How do you get along with the SJs?
    By nolla in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 06-05-2008, 03:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO