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  1. #11
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Old flames reunited make the most lasting marriages - Science, News - The Independent

    The break ups are usually circumstantial, and not as a result of the two people not getting along.
    Lady, don't do this to me -- this is just the kind of fodder that would keep us NFs in a perpetual loop of hoping against hope. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

  2. #12
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Lady, don't do this to me -- this is just the kind of fodder that would keep us NFs in a perpetual loop of hoping against hope. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
    Aren't we NFs all about hope?

  3. #13
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    ^+^^ Peas in a pod, anyone?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #14
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    We are, but I'm trying to break out of self-destructive behavior. Even in my eternally optimistic view, there are some places we should not revisit.

    Help me sisters, don't encourage the madness....

  5. #15
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    We are, but I'm trying to break out of self-destructive behavior. Even in my eternally optimistic view, there are some places we should not revisit.

    Help me sisters, don't encourage the madness....
    But love isn't madness.

    Or is it?

    I think it's one thing to constantly consider someone who clearly was horrible for you(like they treated you badly, but you're obsessed), but I actually believe in the idea of soul mates.

    If someone has found a soul mate, someone who speaks to the very foundation of who you are, I don't see how that can be let go. I also don't see how it would be healthy to let something like that go, in order to say, live a more socially acceptable life.

    The fact that these long lost couples are truly happy and desirous of staying together in marriage speaks volumes imo. How is that self-destructive? A happy marriage can literally improve your physical and emotional status, whereas bad relationships can more than likely kill you.

  6. #16
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Yes, I completely get your point and the difference between the two situations -- one is a bad match, the other a great match but the separation is a function of external circumstances perhaps.

    I'm just VERY aware of my own ability to delude myself that the former is akin to the latter. I'm guessing I'm not alone in this ummm hobby.

  7. #17
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I close the door for good or I keep up talking to them depending on how the break up went. But mostly close the door for good, for various reasons.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #18
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    I'm guessing I'm not alone in this ummm hobby.
    Absolutely not.

    I have a friend that has started to finally close the door on exes, but she has a thing for attracting the crazies, and not a one of them was a mate to her soul. I get that completely.

    I don't usually close the door completely, but I don't talk to any of my exes, mainly because I moved far far away from all of them, and there just isn't anything to talk about.

  9. #19
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Thanks.

    I don't do crazy but honing in on the emotionally unavailable is a real specialty of mine.

    Ergo-glutton for punishment-phobe

    p.s. Physical distance is a wise move

  10. #20
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    So -along these same lines-even though you may never see these folks again, logically yo have closed the door, will you always have an emo connection with them?

    Even friends-not just old flames.

    Twice with two diff entps in the last two weeks I have had a very similiar conversation.

    If you are my close friend/lover, but for some reason I stop talking to you, move away, never see you again-I will always care deeply for you and miss you-ever if I chose to end the relationship.

    For me the caring, loving emotion can be seperated from the actual social interaction with the person. Fi is forever??? I will always, always care deeply if I cared to begin with.

    My best friend entp was very confused by this. She said if you are not her friend, that means you are sort of gone and there no longer is any emo connection.

    Is this me that is odd?

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