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  1. #11
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I was trying to give them away! I was being generous and sharing with others...

    Scott you sound very sweet. My kids sort of happened to me, rather than being planned, but for a woman, hormones take over. Even my thinker friends, this happens to. The intensity of the emotions will of course vary and when they kick in will vary-some during pregnancy, some a month after birth. However most guys do something similiar-usually shortly after birth. My ISTP was crying after both of our sons were born.

    But eventually, you form an attachment to the little guys, good and bad. At first it seems like you have no time at all to do anything-however once you adapt, relax some standards, get used to the chaos, you find you do okay.

    (For instance in order to find the ten minutes to type here, I gave the toddler a waterhose, dogfood, and dishes-he is drenched, covered in dog food, and "cooking")

    Expect the first six months of having kids to be sort of shit-like. Then once you adapt, when they are not around, it juust feels odd-what do normal people do with all this extra time?

    Daycare is the most expensive thing. Everything else can be managed pricewise if you are not picky.

    The biggest thing-you spend many years searching for the ideal mate-they must be great in all these amazing ways. In reality you can divorce them if things work out and never see each other again.

    With kids-once you have them, you are stuck to them forever. And you dont get to pick them either. I dunno what I would have done if I had given birth to an ESTJ son or an ESFP daughter. Love them, yes, but be able to support them with what they need to be happy? I dunno.. Just be prepared to be suprised.

  2. #12
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    With kids-once you have them, you are stuck to them forever. And you dont get to pick them either. I dunno what I would have done if I had given birth to an ESTJ son or an ESFP daughter. Love them, yes, but be able to support them with what they need to be happy? I dunno.. Just be prepared to be suprised.
    Isn't that the truth. And they don't get to pick us. I always keep this in mind when I do things my kiddo doesn't like. I am pretty positive my little one is an ENFJ, so I'm guessing we'll do quite alright in the communication department.

  3. #13
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    I dunno what I would have done if I had given birth to an ESTJ son or an ESFP daughter. Love them, yes, but be able to support them with what they need to be happy? I dunno.. Just be prepared to be suprised.
    Indeed!

    Mine are ESFP son (20) and INTJ daughter (18). With me an INFP, and hubs an ESTJ, you could say that we have a pretty interesting household.

    ESFP son (spontaneous do-work-later boy) drives the INTJ daughter (plan 7 years into the future girl) nuts, not to mention my husband too. Right now son is vacuuming though, so he's in everyone's "good books" at the moment! LOL

    And I am the peace-maker, or at least the one who likes peace, so spend much time mediating between all the diverse needs and wants in the family.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    So I'm still on cloud 9

    So I was up in Boulder earlier today. For those who may not know, Boulder is our hippie/environmental/yuppie/super-liberal town, which people describe as "52 square miles surrounded by reality" "the grand republic of Boulder" and whatever else. Think like San Francisco, Berkeley, Greenwich Village kinda place. Anyways, I'm convinced there is an above average concentration of NFP's there. Usually when I go there I can spot a number of NFP hippie/earthy women, sometimes more than others. So I was walking around one of the grocery stores, and there were tons of hippie/earthy women there! I was all like "I could potentially have babies with someone like you someday" and "I could potentially have babies with someone like you someday" and "I could potentially have babies with someone like you someday" and... :rolli:

    A little backstory: at my undergrad I was anti-attracted to probably 99.5% of the women there. To me it felt like being back in the 1950's. To quote our schools newspaper, "The typical UD woman is more domesticated than your average housepet"!!! Having just left being around the military where women were mens equal, and many of them could totally kick your ass, it was really hard to be in like this 1950's poofy women-as-poodles or whatever environment. But alas no longer!

    Also, I don't think about very often cuz it was a while ago but I did think about it today, the closest I ever came to dying was near Boulder. I was a passenger in a vehicle that got hit by another out of control vehicle. I'm strongly convinced that if my seatbelt didn't have that shoulder strap on it then there would have been "Scott's brain kool-aid" all over the broken windshield.

    So anyways, today I was all like "Yes yes, perhaps there will be little scotts or scottetes someday..." that and "I could potentially have babies with someone like you someday, or you, or you..." So yes, women that I am actually attracted to, Colorado has them! And thats a lot of progress from where I came from. Now I just need to meet more of them...

    "Hi, I'm Scott. Have I mentioned yet that I was housecleaning earlier today and found it enjoyable?" That should line the women up to throw themselves at me right? A man that enjoys housecleaning, those are apparently pretty rare!

    Ahh Boulder and cloud nine

  5. #15
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Now, take it from the dream to reality. Did you feel drawn to one person in particular you saw? Did you make eye contact? Perhaps you could even ... speak ... to one of these NFP gals ... !

    This will sound funny likely, but my favorite saying these days is: "In order to start, you have to start!"

    Looking forward to your next steps, lovey dreamer man! ...

  6. #16
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Now, take it from the dream to reality. Did you feel drawn to one person in particular you saw? Did you make eye contact? Perhaps you could even ... speak ... to one of these NFP gals ... !

    This will sound funny likely, but my favorite saying these days is: "In order to start, you have to start!"

    Looking forward to your next steps, lovey dreamer man! ...
    TALK to people I don't know at the supermarket!?!?!? Please Peacebaby, I am way too polite/gentlemanly/quiet/etc to do that! Darn me! Mostly I am trying to open myself to the possibility that there are women out there I am attracted to, would do well with, and maybe could enjoy having kids with someday. Just THAT possibility is a great re-opening for me.

    Supermarkets aren't like say spiritual groups or volunteering where you know you already have something in common and can just be like "Hi, I'm Scott"

    Also, 1) I don't live in Boulder, yet, and 2) many of these people are like college age, I've been out of college for a while now...

    I think of stuff like this as "laying the foundation" or "doing the groundwork". But every days is one more day that passes by, and time stops for no one

  7. #17
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Then that is a step, and that's wonderful. You keep on taking them, k?

  8. #18
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    So I am curious fellow NFP's, where did you meet your SO?
    Lol, at a very romantic setting: in a bar! I was about 18-19 years old and he was a few years older than me. My knight in the not so shining armour.

    Expressed differently, when did you know that you wanted to have children?
    I have always wanted children. I have always known for somehow, that I'll have some.

    Also, for those of you who have children, did you always know that you wanted to, or knew once you met your SO, or knew once it happened, or something else?
    When I met my SO, I had the strangest intuition that he would be a good father. I never had that feeling with anybody before. And so he is, an excellent father.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Alchemiss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    ...

    So I am curious fellow NFP's, where did you meet your SO? Also, for those of you who have children, did you always know that you wanted to, or knew once you met your SO, or knew once it happened, or something else? Expressed differently, when did you know that you wanted to have children?

    ...

    I met my husband when I interviewed for my present job. I went back and told my officemate, "Crap, I'm attracted to him!" and in the next breath, "But I'm a professional and I can handle it". I handled it all right.

    We don't have children and it's too late now. I spent a lot of years in graduate school and then it took a while to meet Mr. Alchemiss and then I wanted the marriage to be on solid ground and by the time we tried to have children (being pregnant sort of seemed like being possessed by an alien for me for a while and I didn't have the biological clock thing going on that strongly), it was too late. I'm pretty much okay with the no kids thing. I definitely love being able to focus on what I want and need because I'd probably be excessively child-centric otherwise.

    Best of luck with your, ahem, pursuits.

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