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Thread: NFP Idealism

  1. #41
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    The one area of absolutely no compromise where other people are concerned is the ideal of respect towards people in general. In this area, I hold people to a personal standard, both in their behavior towards me and other people. Of course I am occasionally disappointed in this area. When I see people violating the respect rule --- cruelty towards any weaker/subordinate living being -- children, the elderly, animals are particular weak spots, I will go ENTP on their ass...:steam:

    In general, I believe strongly that you can't take back hurtful things you've said so in most cases I'll avoid saying them as far as possible. With people who don't deserve the full treatment or who are already regretful, I choose to not say anything at all.

    In this particular circumstance, however, when weakness is exploited, I won't hold back. Most recently, this come out when one of my travel companions decided to accuse (without any evidence) the laundry service we used in a rather poor area of the country we were visiting of potentially stealing from us. She got an earful. Finally homophobia in all its forms will get me up on my soapbox...

    Sometimes I surprise myself by how angry I can become (shaking, holding back tears) but the toxic words just pour out and I will not stop until the perpetrator hangs their head in shame or at the very least walks away. I don't like doing it but it's not an area where I will back down or let generosity take over.

    In a similar vein, I'm also the idiot who will likely speak out on the students' behalf during faculty meetings where senior colleagues are discussing doing away with evaluations altogether. So crazy! Lack of accountability is also not okay and reflects a lack of respect for the audience - in this case, students. I am such an ENFP with my antiestablishmentarianism (yes, I was just looking for an excuse to use the word).

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    The one area of absolutely no compromise where other people are concerned is the ideal of respect towards people in general. In this area, I hold people to a personal standard, both in their behavior towards me and other people. Of course I am occasionally disappointed in this area. When I see people violating the respect rule --- cruelty towards any weaker/subordinate living being -- children, the elderly, animals are particular weak spots, I will go ENTP on their ass...:steam:
    I can't stand it when people judge each other by cultural standards, like being mean to the "ugly" person or the person who's not as "cool" as everyone else, or sucking up to people who are put on a pedestal by society at large.

    Hate that hate that hate that. My rule is to respect everyone's unique qualities.

    In general, I believe strongly that you can't take back hurtful things you've said so in most cases I'll avoid saying them as far as possible. With people who don't deserve the full treatment or who are already regretful, I choose to not say anything at all.
    I think that's definitely a good rule to follow, not only because you'd bring yourself down to their level by being hurtful but also because I believe that sometimes you don't know the whole of a person. Maybe there will be a day when you'll know exactly where that person is coming from and you'll understand why they were angry or inconsiderate or ignorant. Yeah, that's the Ne talkin.

  3. #43
    Senior Member souffle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    NFPs, do you ever feel like you are just too idealistic? That your standards and values are too hard on other people? How do you turn off the idealistic switch in your head, and do you come to terms with the reality that the way the world/life works is rarely comparable to your own ideals of how it should be?

    Feel free to give concrete examples to illustrate your points/experiences.
    I just so happen to have a recent experience of this! Don't mind if I do share the full, uncut story:

    Our Year 12 Drama class was putting on a production of Arthur Miller's The Crucible. I was obsessed with the play the minute I learned of it's existence.
    This obsession became even greater when my romantic interest turned out to be a failure. "That's it," I said. "I'm forgetting about romance till University. Oh dear, now what am I going to focus my life on. I know, The Crucible!"

    I was also lucky enough to get the MOST FASCINATING, CHALLENGING, AWESOMEST PIECE OF MEAT OF A CHARACTER that I had ever had to sink my creative teeth into- Reverend John Hale!!! If there was ever a day I was grateful for a lack of boys in our class, this was the day!

    So, I decided. The performance night will be the singlemost greatest event of this year, and possibly my highschool education. We will perform it brilliantly and the audience will be immensely touched and impressed by such a fantastic play.
    I probably didn't have this exact idea in my head from the beginning- it was more of a seed that grew bigger and bigger the closer we got to performance night.

    Many things went wrong. First, one of the two boys in our class quit school. He was our lead. The teacher said we might have to get a new play if we couldn't find a new John Proctor soon. My anxiety over this month long period was unspeakable. Luckily another fellow our age, out of school, came up. My joy was even more unspeakable!

    I learnt my lines way ahead of everyone else (actually everyone else was still trying to get it right a week leading up to the thing ) I practised getting my semi-man voice right at home. I look up character analyses and Youtube. I printed out acting tips. The few months leading up to it were an intense prep to one of the biggest moments of my life- playing a classic character in a renowned, classic play. I wrote about it in my diary, I fantasised about performing, and the praise I would receive afterwards.

    So, performance night eventually came.
    Our Proctor fainted the night before. We were told in the morning that he would be there a few hours before the performance, but we'd have to rehearse during the day without him.
    When the time came, he rang up and said hed been advised by his doctor to rest in bed for a few days, and that he couldn't come. (If it was me, I thought later, I would be there anyway! But not everyone loved the play as much as me )
    I cried, not with devastation- that didn't come till later- at the present moment it was a good humoured disbelief. "I'm okay"- I smilingly insisted to my fellow castmates.
    A Yr 11 guy who we had playing a minor role stepped up to play the part, while a male teacher did the role the Yr 11 boy had left.
    We got through the performance okay- the boy used at different points the script or lines delivered to him through an earpiece. But of course, the carefully rehearsed, intense dramatic and emotional moments didn't come across as well as they could have- just the lines being read in (although the guy was a good actor and did the best he could).
    To top it all off, my performance wasn't perfect!!! I didn't always project the whole time, I didn't reach the emotional heights I hoped to in the last scene, and once I went blank with a line!!

    So it wasn't people crowding around to tell us what an amazing, groundbreaking production we had done- rather, it was more along the lines of "we had done the best we could considering the circumstances." I received some praise for my performace- I had good timing apparently, and portrayed my character successfully. That night in bed, I couldn't help being devastated. I cried in my pillow and wished that someone would come and hug me and tell me it was alright!

    It was simply reality, of course. As one person told me- "It's just a school production-" these can never be expected to be perfect. Professional theatre is another question entirely. As humans and as inexperienced students, we made mistakes. In my idealistic anticipations, I had not prepared myself for this. Oh, and really, REALLY bad circumstances! It was a very disillusioning experience!

    Luckily over the past week (it's been 6 days now!) I have come more to terms with reality, and learned to appreciate the praise I have received, which has actually been quite good. I have seen the more positive side!
    And perhaps I need to consider the journey I went through and emotional experience of it all, rather than the end product. And what an emotional experience- absolutely exhausting.




    So that's my experience with over-idealism, and the feeling when reality strikes.

    Goodness, that was long. Sorry. I really hope some people read it and find relevance in it- for what it's worth, I put alot of effort into writing that!

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