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[ENFP] ENFP: tired of being me

Goatman455

Permabanned
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Messages
105
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
hey ENFPs . . . do you ever just wish so bad that you weren't an ENFP? Don't you wish that you cared less about relationships? Aren't you so tired of being the one concerned with how the other is feeling or what they are thinking or whether or not THEY are having fun? Aren't you sick of always wanting deeper meanings, deeper conversations more meaningful connections and interactions? Don't you just wish you had more patience? Don't you wish you didn't care so much? Don't you really really really wish you didn't need others acceptance like you do? Don't you wish you could be happy all alone . . . truly happy / satiated / satisfied / fulfilled etc. etc. the way INFJs & INTJs are . . .

maybe i just want some cheering up . . . sorry guys to be such a downer:)



Yeah, I think herein lies the ENFPs greatest strength and weakness. The ability to see the strength/weaknesses in others (and ourselves) can make us feel weak at times. You have to appreciate yourself for your strengths. You can clearly see your weaknesses, so try and improve them, don't make yourself feel bad because of them.

I like the depth, empathy, and connections but at times get frustrated with the confusion or scattered-ness (ok that's not a word) that my disorganized nature can cause. That said, this same disorganized nature can help me make sense of chaos too, so I try and focus on that aspect if I am feeling down.
 

Liminality

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Aug 29, 2009
Messages
217
MBTI Type
ISFx
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6w7
I have definately expereinced times when I have become very aware of an emptiness inside of me and sometimes, unfortunately, I have pressed a self-destruct button to fill it. It's like I have to do something extreme to fill the gap because my awareness of it is just so intense!

Hmmm, *starting to wonder about bring xNFP* I can definately relate to this.

Could you elaborate on the 'emptiness'? Where does the lack of ??? come from?
 

Wild horses

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Oct 25, 2008
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1,916
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It's the strangess thing as I can't really describe the emptiness that I feel but it is almost like an emptiness coupled with a restlessness and it can be really insatiable. It a longing but I'm not sure what for. I'm not always conscious of it and it's almost like on occasions it gets satisifed but I'm not really sure by what... I just notice that in those instances I feel complete and a sense of bliss.
 

dani_elle

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Aug 18, 2009
Messages
82
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ENFP
I hate that I want to be my own person but have this stupid need to be liked by people. What the hell, right?
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
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Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It's the strangess thing as I can't really describe the emptiness that I feel but it is almost like an emptiness coupled with a restlessness and it can be really insatiable. It a longing but I'm not sure what for. I'm not always conscious of it and it's almost like on occasions it gets satisifed but I'm not really sure by what... I just notice that in those instances I feel complete and a sense of bliss.

that restlessness...that's a type 7 thing i think...i know that feeling.
 

Kyi

New member
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Sep 27, 2009
Messages
47
MBTI Type
ENFP
Reading this forum and this post has been an eye opener for me. It has really helped me sort of put my confused, mix of emotions and turmoil into perspective and help me understand the way I am and why I feel the way I do.

It is true, we involve ourselves in a way that makes us attached and unable to seperate our emotions and needs from others. I usually do have my guard up, but it seems like the people who hurt you most are the ones you let your guard down to, because you seem to have some kind of connection or understanding, which is why you allow them in the first place.

We feel this emotional "emptiness" because we aren't receiving the same affection and care that we think we deserve from others, probably because we put more into it and are more emotionally invested in it.

The ability to be able to "feel" to that deep level is a blessing and a curse. When things are going well and the affection and understanding is returned, then I believe most of us feel very happy and complacent. But when they aren't, its much much worse. We torture ourselves over other people's decisions and judgement. There are people who appreciate those qualities in someone, but I think it can be overbearing.

I am feeling the exact same way though, with the emptiness and feeling like I am not satisfied and want more from some people. I realize you just can't force it, because not everyone understands and feels things the way we do.
 

icmlite

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Sep 30, 2009
Messages
28
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2
I love being an ENFP. Caring about relationships is what makes it all worthwhile. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it sucks, but having the capacity to care like this isn't something I'd readily give up.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
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7w6
This is a pretty cool thread. I identify with pretty much every post (including the INFJs not being exactly happy)
 

Sad Lounge

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Sep 30, 2009
Messages
18
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ENFJ
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?
Barack Obama is an ENFP. If he can handle it, you guys probably can.

Let me hear you: YES WE CAN!

Glad I'm an ENFJ

"Do as you're told! (unless told otherwise)"
 

Lady_X

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but...but...he's an enfj isn't he?
 

will5250

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Jan 15, 2008
Messages
83
MBTI Type
INFP
4's and wanna-be INFPs can relate to this too....;)
And real INFPs also feel this restlessness and craving for connection, and deeply care about relationships, including others relationships, but I guess we attempt to accomplish them in a totally different manner.
 

Chloe

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May 1, 2009
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And real INFPs also feel this restlessness and craving for connection, and deeply care about relationships, including others relationships, but I guess we attempt to accomplish them in a totally different manner.


how different ? care to explain?

Because after all that talk about enpfs and infps i still dont see whats the difference for real.
 

will5250

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Jan 15, 2008
Messages
83
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INFP
how different ? care to explain?

Because after all that talk about enpfs and infps i still dont see whats the difference for real.
First I want to say I am fascinated by your avatar. It looks like the young woman is leaning hard against a wall of water.

I am curious which talk about enfps and infps you are referring to. It amazes me how different infps and enfps can be considering that both types utilize the same preferred and shadow functions, just in a seemingly slightly different order yet those minor differences make a much larger difference than I would expect though I only knowingly know one enfp IRL, and though we have many similarities, she and I are as different as night and day, in our approaches.

I'll refer you to this web page on interaction styles. They explain it better than I can. Interaction Styles

You will notice that enfp tends to use what they call a "Get Things Going" style and infp tends to use a "Behind the scenes" interaction style. The latter certainly describes me. I will more often approach a person one on one in a more private and personal manner, and make suggestions, offer insight, try to show them the situation through the other person's eyes if I have that insight to draw upon, and I do encourage the person to seek other sources of information, or else provide it to them, but whether anything gets going or not is up to the person that I am trying to encourage.

I am curious how much the get things going model describes the way you tend to approach relationships; and thank you for asking.
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
First I want to say I am fascinated by your avatar. It looks like the young woman is leaning hard against a wall of water.

Heh...It's a perspective thing. It's a girl with her legs on the edge of a pool and her body in the water...Turn the camera sideways, and viola...:)
 

pyramid

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Feb 21, 2010
Messages
101
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ENFP
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9w1
Sure, sometimes I wish I could function differently... I would liken being an ENFP to being drunk and sometimes... just sometimes I would like to be sober :(

+1

:hug:

I will even take this a step further to say I am even physically more sensitive to intoxicants, I can suppress their effects at will or feel loopy off of anything nontoxic and natural... especially if it's exactly what I need at that moment!
 

ice princess

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Jun 7, 2010
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2
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ENFP
You know what I hate about being ENFP?
I usually end up talking so much that I don't even realize what I'm saying, and end up thinking it over later and feel terrible for saying it. Then I just HAVE to apologize even though nobody else seems to care...
 

Pixelholic

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Jun 20, 2010
Messages
550
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
You know what I hate about being ENFP?
I usually end up talking so much that I don't even realize what I'm saying, and end up thinking it over later and feel terrible for saying it. Then I just HAVE to apologize even though nobody else seems to care...

This, but I also worry that if I don't talk I'm being too standoffish and cold and that I need to lighten up and join in the conversation.

Can't ever seem to find a happy middle.

Does anyone ever think of something to say, then halfway through saying it think "No, that's stupid, say something else" then think "but you're already saying it, you'll look weird if you just stop" and so on and end up standing there looking like an idiot while they watch you expectantly?

I do that all the time.
 

Blossom500

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Joined
Jul 11, 2010
Messages
142
MBTI Type
ENFP
Yup. You sound like you're burned out a bit. Go home, snuggle a kitten, take a bath and play some minesweeper. Don't feel guilty about hating the world for a week and being unreachable during that period

It happens to the best of us.

I know this was posted last year but it was just what I needed to hear... even though it was not directed at me. Thanks people for all your posts, they help others too. :hug:
 
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