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[ENFP] ENFP: tired of being me

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sure, sometimes I wish I could function differently... I would liken being an ENFP to being drunk and sometimes... just sometimes I would like to be sober :(

oh my god that is the first thing i've had to quote in my signature! ha! i love it! totally stealing it! :smooch:
 

Sacrator

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
156
MBTI Type
ENFP
yup, all the time. Actually if I could change one letter it would be F to T.... :cry:

Pretty easy actually just a matter of do you make your decisions based on what you think about it or how you feel about it. So if you want to be a T just start making decisions based on how you think about it. I don't only do one i kind of use each where necessary so i kind of go back and forth between T and F when necessary. Like for example im usually a T at work but a F at home but if im having a nice conversation at work then im a F again. Im kind of a EXXP personality type.
 

professor goodstain

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
1,785
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7~7
ENFP/INTP hybrid, so i probably have no buisness here....anyhoo...
revolve: We care too much!

Its getting to the point I'm getting quite paranoid to who I get close to! Sigh!
Perhaps desensitization? Same.
This.

I mean, I'd rather be an ENFP than any other type (the exuberance! the ideas! the compulsive exploration!) but hell, I'd be a better person if I could summon some inner J.

But anyway, GO ENFP! We're lucky, we have a lot of love to give and a lot that naturally comes our way. We are always creating and pushing forward. You're lucky, dear OP, to be ENFP. So are we!

So many goddam rhymes just there. Sorry :wink:
Until the love stops coming naturally, though still givin, then creating and pushing forward regenerates that natural love. Kinda like 'you reap what you sow. Does that count? As far as the top paragraph, the P paid for itself in full by experience, imo. Would you really be a better person having not seen/experienced that dynamic in its whole?
Yeah, I want to trade in my eNF license for an eNT or eSF one.
There's no need to go that far:)
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
Pretty easy actually just a matter of do you make your decisions based on what you think about it or how you feel about it. So if you want to be a T just start making decisions based on how you think about it. I don't only do one i kind of use each where necessary so i kind of go back and forth between T and F when necessary. Like for example im usually a T at work but a F at home but if im having a nice conversation at work then im a F again. Im kind of a EXXP personality type.


Yeah, I know, this can help... but how can one change need for personal contacts? I cant.
You can't change your priorities, mine are relationships... biggest part of my life are relationships, and almost only thing I trully care about..all others things come after that, not that they are not important but alone mean almost nothing...
 

thinkinjazz

New member
Joined
May 18, 2009
Messages
247
MBTI Type
ENFP
No- I do feel that way sometimes, but i think you just have to find the right people who will care about you too. I get hurt as much as the next ENFP and experience the normal 100 emotions/min. Dance helps me balance a lot- it's always changing so I don't get bored w/ it like I do everything else. Feeling pain is still better than feeling nothing and usually the pain doesn't last that long for us anyway I think.
 

SuperFob

New member
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
264
MBTI Type
INFJ
truly happy / satiated / satisfied / fulfilled etc. etc. the way INFJs & are . . .
What on earth makes you think that INFJ's are even remotely happy people?
 

ENFP GAL

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
8
MBTI Type
ENFP
I'm probably doing it the wrong way but I try to detach myself from my relationships. I tend to put in 110% if I let my guard down and when things don't work out (even only a little bit) I end up a crying mess.

I now go hot and cold towards whoever I date, in this way, they seemed to be more interested as well. I guess the suspense and unpredictability keeps them intrigued. However, the downside is I may miss the feeling of being truely in love but that's the risk I'd rather take.

Also, I tend to be a bit promiscuous as well so I don't get attached to anyone. Bad I know :(
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
I now go hot and cold towards whoever I date, in this way, they seemed to be more interested as well. I guess the suspense and unpredictability keeps them intrigued. However, the downside is I may miss the feeling of being truely in love but that's the risk I'd rather take.

To get what exactly?
 

dani_elle

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Messages
82
MBTI Type
ENFP
I feel unable to really protect myself.

I know right? Somehow I think ENFPs don't have a natural defense barrier.

But the way I do it is I gather a lot of strength from the closer people I know. That way I won't be affected by people who try to hurt me. But if they are close to me (and try to hurt me), that would be one of the worst situations I can find myself in.

I'm pretty bad at dealing with "sniping" from people who don't really like me. Sure, I ignore it and act like everything is all right but sometimes it gets to me.
 

ENFP GAL

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
8
MBTI Type
ENFP
You just have to careless. I am! Although I want to give in and love badly, it's not a good idea cause then I become needy!
 

Tikka

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
133
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yes. Can't stop thinking of other people and their relationship with me. Need to force myself doing useful things more often.
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
wild horses - i feel out of it quite a bit . . . it's like i'm in a "haze" or drunk like you said ha ha! i guess it's the NFP combo deal that makes us feel "drunk" . . .

Yea often feel in such a haze... it really is the only way to describe it.... It can sometimes get confused with extreme tiredness but it's too out-of-body to be just that... dunno, it's weird... then there all the other drunken feelings... highs and lows... self-destruct button... hyperactivity... lack of concentration... feeling like you wanna smash something up just to rid some of the energy... then feeling down and like you can't move again.. it's crippling... being an ENFP :D:D:D
 

revolve

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
243
I love where this is going guys! I'm starting to see this theme of "lack of boundaries" / "codependence" . . . i don't mean to use psycho-babble but just throwing a quick label on what i'm getting from this . . . so now my next question . . .

There seems to be an emptiness inside of us . . . maybe more so than for other types . . . or maybe it is just that we are hypersensitive to this lack or void & than our anxiety in relation to this is what makes us such relationship needy freaks. Like we are already a high anxiety hyper sensitive type in general & then you throw in the NF with the extroversion & the 'P' which just lets it all run free (ie. lack of boundaries) . . .

what do you guys think? anyone care to comment / expand? love to hear your thoughts!!!
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
I have definately expereinced times when I have become very aware of an emptiness inside of me and sometimes, unfortunately, I have pressed a self-destruct button to fill it. It's like I have to do something extreme to fill the gap because my awareness of it is just so intense!
 

revolve

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
243
I have definately expereinced times when I have become very aware of an emptiness inside of me and sometimes, unfortunately, I have pressed a self-destruct button to fill it. It's like I have to do something extreme to fill the gap because my awareness of it is just so intense!

THIS. exactly this. And I have a lot of female ENFP friends who are in their early 30's because of the field i work in (there are a ton of us) and we ALL are like this. I have talked to all of these chicks & tested them & i don't know what we can do. the whole enneagram 7 "gluttony" thing goes along with this as well . . . especially if one is a sexual 7 . . . i observe myself & these others that i speak of & it really saddens me . . . the neediness for love in all of us, the neediness for verbal affirmation from loved ones, the neediness for affection . . . & the attraction to the indifferent introverted type that will never be capable whatsoever to give us that which we need most. Oh the irony! Is this an ENFP female thing or is it just me?
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
mmmm I am a social 7 so I don't rely on lovers to fill this emptiness so much but I can relate to pretty much everything else that you are saying!
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
revolve,
I can't say I ever feel "empty" but I do feel more dependant on others than it should be, "codependency" is i think very often problem for ENFPs. i'm also not that directed on relationships, more on friendships. I even am not sure do I want boyfriend, I mean I want him but never depresses me if I dont have him, but social contact and all that - I know it's too important for me.


That emptiness you're talking about for me may be lack of some bigger personal alone-time pleasure, besides enjoying (with) other people, so we are all about others, which is dangerous. I noticed that in many ENFPs.
But at the same time we're usually ambitious and assertive, so it's weird, even contradictory.
 
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