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  1. #31
    Member dani_elle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lamp View Post
    I feel unable to really protect myself.
    I know right? Somehow I think ENFPs don't have a natural defense barrier.

    But the way I do it is I gather a lot of strength from the closer people I know. That way I won't be affected by people who try to hurt me. But if they are close to me (and try to hurt me), that would be one of the worst situations I can find myself in.

    I'm pretty bad at dealing with "sniping" from people who don't really like me. Sure, I ignore it and act like everything is all right but sometimes it gets to me.
    I am an ENFP but I value justice over mercy.

  2. #32
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    You just have to careless. I am! Although I want to give in and love badly, it's not a good idea cause then I become needy!

  3. #33
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ENFP GAL View Post
    To protect myself.
    No but what I meant was...if you are protecting yourself what do you get out of the relationship?

  4. #34
    Senior Member Tikka's Avatar
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    Yes. Can't stop thinking of other people and their relationship with me. Need to force myself doing useful things more often.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by revolve View Post
    wild horses - i feel out of it quite a bit . . . it's like i'm in a "haze" or drunk like you said ha ha! i guess it's the NFP combo deal that makes us feel "drunk" . . .
    Yea often feel in such a haze... it really is the only way to describe it.... It can sometimes get confused with extreme tiredness but it's too out-of-body to be just that... dunno, it's weird... then there all the other drunken feelings... highs and lows... self-destruct button... hyperactivity... lack of concentration... feeling like you wanna smash something up just to rid some of the energy... then feeling down and like you can't move again.. it's crippling... being an ENFP
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  6. #36
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    I love where this is going guys! I'm starting to see this theme of "lack of boundaries" / "codependence" . . . i don't mean to use psycho-babble but just throwing a quick label on what i'm getting from this . . . so now my next question . . .

    There seems to be an emptiness inside of us . . . maybe more so than for other types . . . or maybe it is just that we are hypersensitive to this lack or void & than our anxiety in relation to this is what makes us such relationship needy freaks. Like we are already a high anxiety hyper sensitive type in general & then you throw in the NF with the extroversion & the 'P' which just lets it all run free (ie. lack of boundaries) . . .

    what do you guys think? anyone care to comment / expand? love to hear your thoughts!!!

  7. #37
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    I have definately expereinced times when I have become very aware of an emptiness inside of me and sometimes, unfortunately, I have pressed a self-destruct button to fill it. It's like I have to do something extreme to fill the gap because my awareness of it is just so intense!
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    I have definately expereinced times when I have become very aware of an emptiness inside of me and sometimes, unfortunately, I have pressed a self-destruct button to fill it. It's like I have to do something extreme to fill the gap because my awareness of it is just so intense!
    THIS. exactly this. And I have a lot of female ENFP friends who are in their early 30's because of the field i work in (there are a ton of us) and we ALL are like this. I have talked to all of these chicks & tested them & i don't know what we can do. the whole enneagram 7 "gluttony" thing goes along with this as well . . . especially if one is a sexual 7 . . . i observe myself & these others that i speak of & it really saddens me . . . the neediness for love in all of us, the neediness for verbal affirmation from loved ones, the neediness for affection . . . & the attraction to the indifferent introverted type that will never be capable whatsoever to give us that which we need most. Oh the irony! Is this an ENFP female thing or is it just me?

  9. #39
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    mmmm I am a social 7 so I don't rely on lovers to fill this emptiness so much but I can relate to pretty much everything else that you are saying!
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  10. #40
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    revolve,
    I can't say I ever feel "empty" but I do feel more dependant on others than it should be, "codependency" is i think very often problem for ENFPs. i'm also not that directed on relationships, more on friendships. I even am not sure do I want boyfriend, I mean I want him but never depresses me if I dont have him, but social contact and all that - I know it's too important for me.


    That emptiness you're talking about for me may be lack of some bigger personal alone-time pleasure, besides enjoying (with) other people, so we are all about others, which is dangerous. I noticed that in many ENFPs.
    But at the same time we're usually ambitious and assertive, so it's weird, even contradictory.

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