[ENFJ] ENFJ's: How much time do you spend alone?

[Brendan]

What do you tend to do by yourself? How do your thought patterns change? Refreshing? Draining?

 

[Littlelostnf]

What do you tend to do by yourself? How do your thought patterns change? Refreshing? Draining?

Hmmm..well I live alone so I do mostly everything alone. But socially. I totally don't mind taking myself to the movies alone, I rather see a comedy with someone else but anything else I'd rather see it alone) I do want to talk about a more meaty movie with someone after I see it, but I don't mind seeing it by myself. I don't mind shopping alone (in face I prefer it). I have more times than I can count gone out to eat alone altho I will take a book generally. I do the beach alone if no one is available to go with me and I don't mind....hmmm what else...not sure but I really don't mind at all doing things by myself.

As for my though patterns...I don't know that I've ever thought to think about how they change that's an interesting question. Do you mean are the changes refreshing or draining? I suppose that depends on what my thoughts are. Or do you mean how do they change while I'm doing what I do? Need to you clarify that for me before I can answer it I think.

 

[Tikka]

This is one of the questions I have for myself, actually. I don't consider myself an extravert person *until* I'm amongst other people, so I wonder sometimes whether I'm an INFJ instead.

I often go on holidays/citytrips alone, I like and don't mind being alone. However, for myself, I noticed I become VERY negative about myself when I'm alone and not doing something active. I start second guessing past activities, relationships, and have a gloomy view for the future.

Friends consider me positive when I'm amongst them, bar my cynical / sarcastic humoristic remark to liven up the atmosphere.

I've read somewhere the negative attitude when being alone is an ENFJ trait. But it's one, if it's true, I could do without. Also, I wish I could be more ENTJ - which I often appear in professional situations - but it's more because my friggin feelings for other people are killing me sometimes.

Sorry for the long rant, how are you doin' ?

 

[entropie]

Highly unlikely ENTJs dont get killed by their feelings for others too, sometimes.

 

[Tikka]

Highly unlikely ENTJs dont get killed by their feelings for others too, sometimes.

Sure, they're human, but they seem to be able to shrug it off and go do their own business again fairly easily. I tend to stay influenced longer.

Maybe NT's are just better in control of their emotions than those flappy NFs.

 

[thisGuy]

Sure, they're human, but they seem to be able to shrug it off and go do their own business again fairly easily. I tend to stay influenced longer.

Maybe NT's are just better in control of their emotions than those flappy NFs.

they are usually bad at recognizing them
if the recognize them, they dont know what to do with them
if they know what to do with them, they dont know what to do about them

...unless they read about it but then it doesn't work either cuz its 'feelings' and to most of them, feeling JUST arent logical

 

[thisGuy]

my enfj gf would ponder over stuff by herself...or with me; apparently im the only person who gets her Ni-fueled analogies of life

she spends a fair amount of time alone. sometimes i think she only goes out for other people's sake and not really for herself...but shes a complete E

 

[Littlelostnf]

my enfj gf would ponder over stuff by herself...or with me; apparently im the only person who gets her Ni-fueled analogies of life

she spends a fair amount of time alone. sometimes i think she only goes out for other people's sake and not really for herself...but shes a complete E

Now see that sounds like me...I don't mind going out but lots of times I'm perfectly happy being home. When people ask me to go out I generally oblige but I could just as soon stay home....and when I do go out I enjoy and don't mind going out on my own.

 

[entropie]

Sure, they're human, but they seem to be able to shrug it off and go do their own business again fairly easily. I tend to stay influenced longer.

Maybe NT's are just better in control of their emotions than those flappy NFs.

No, I meant they are just quicker with the revolver

 

[The Third Rider]

I actually like to spend time alone which I find kind of ironic; I say about 3-4 years ago I had problems just being and feeling alone. I always wanted to be somewhere with someone talking and doing anything or else I would start to have "dark thoughts" and get depressed. I guess that had more to do with the fact that I grew up feeling isolated, since I used to move around a lot and my parents didn't really allow me to go out and hang out with my friends during my "free" time and would go long periods of time without really socializing other than school. Now that I have my matured and have my freedom I see myself spending a lot of time alone. When I get back from work I usually like barricade myself in my room and don't want to see or talk to anyone. As for what I do when I am alone? I like browsing the internet, reading, playing video games, listening to music, etc. Sometimes even when I go out I feel like I should just go home and be alone. Don't get me wrong I am not a introvert and I do enjoy going out and having fun with my friends which I do a lot but I have some introvert tendencies I guess, my mother even called me anti social the other day.

 

[Tikka]

No, I meant they are just quicker with the revolver

Yeah, been shot by ENTJs a couple of times this month and only after a few hours I realized I was dead.

But yeah, I think ENFJs in general need more time alone than any other E. Often this is mentioned in descriptions as well. Just be alone to review their relationship with people, their path in life, have dark gloomy thoughts and to charge up for the next time we go out and mingle with other peoples, making them happy.

 

[Brendan]

Hmmm..well I live alone so I do mostly everything alone. But socially. I totally don't mind taking myself to the movies alone, I rather see a comedy with someone else but anything else I'd rather see it alone) I do want to talk about a more meaty movie with someone after I see it, but I don't mind seeing it by myself. I don't mind shopping alone (in face I prefer it). I have more times than I can count gone out to eat alone altho I will take a book generally. I do the beach alone if no one is available to go with me and I don't mind....hmmm what else...not sure but I really don't mind at all doing things by myself.

As for my though patterns...I don't know that I've ever thought to think about how they change that's an interesting question. Do you mean are the changes refreshing or draining? I suppose that depends on what my thoughts are. Or do you mean how do they change while I'm doing what I do? Need to you clarify that for me before I can answer it I think.

Do you find alone time overall draining or refreshing?

 

[SpottingTrains]

I find time alone to be very draining. The only time I can partially stand it is when I'm occupied on a task such as drawing for reading something. If I have nothing to do I usually start thinking about past experiences and it just ends very poorly for the most part.

So overall I tend to spend the least amount of time alone as possible I would say. I do appreciate the time I get when I'm alone to accomplish things like reading or drawing but I will usually set those aside to do things with other people instantly if they pop up.

I realize that a lot of my time spent alone is used to gather new insights and experiences to share when I'm with people.

The only alone time that I really need sometimes is after big events that I just need to sort through by myself and get my bearings and usually after that I want to talk about it with someone.

 

[Littlelostnf]

Do you find alone time overall draining or refreshing?

Overall I find it refreshing. I like being with my thoughts bright and happy or dark and dwelling...doesn't matter they are my thoughts and belong to me. I spend alot of time thinking about others and so when I have the chance to just focus on me for even a bit I welcome it. It's wonderful to get out of the spin my thoughts become when I add in all the million one hundred thousand other people who seek and I allow (at times) to occupy my thoughts. When it's just me it's lovely. I don't mean to say I like the dark thoughts but if I didn't have them I'm sure I wouldn't appreciate the easy light bright thoughts as much.

 

[Domino]

What do you tend to do by yourself? How do your thought patterns change? Refreshing? Draining?

I need huge amounts of alone time. I can't tell you the value I place on my alone time in the morning when the house is quiet and I have no one else's organic vibe rankling the atmosphere. It doesn't even matter if that person is being silent or is away from me - I can still feel them all over me and I have to flee. My head is a bus station full of people and their feelings/intentions that I will automatically try to process and assign. Fe-Ni, kneejerk. Like telling Einstein to pay attention to patents and ignore the equations.

Everything in it's place and a place for everything.

If I didn't a lot of alone time (and I mean hours of it) I would never be functional. Got to wash up and rid myself of the road slime from the day before. Processing and acceptance/rejection, like a person sorting through a box of donated clothes. Ridding your house of clutter and dust is feng shui, and I get a dust storm through my house every day that requires a thorough excommunication. I turn into a dragon if I don't get to take a tour of my island and rattle all the gates and check the moats.

I listen to music, write write write, light chat with friends as I can, but in a semi-removed manner until I power back up.

 

[Domino]

This is one of the questions I have for myself, actually. I don't consider myself an extravert person *until* I'm amongst other people, so I wonder sometimes whether I'm an INFJ instead.

Well-said. And TOTALLY agree.

I'm am a moderate E at best, but not an I by definition. I get charged up by people and being amidst social life, but because I absorb human energy like a sponge and expend a great deal of energy interacting (ENFJ full contact mode, for the win!) even on a personal level, like at a quiet party where there's a lot of one on one conversation, I flee from people if I haven't had time to just lay there and process and BE without prompt or expectation.

I know this may be a dumb analogy, but it's like being Rogue - you can't touch someone without absorbing them, no matter what you do.

I find time alone to be very draining. The only time I can partially stand it is when I'm occupied on a task such as drawing for reading something. If I have nothing to do I usually start thinking about past experiences and it just ends very poorly for the most part.

I can also agree with this. I would never survive in the country. I need people around and things to do. The country is nice for a vacation, but live there? Can't do it. I go stir crazy.

 

[TopherRed]

I need huge amounts of alone time. I can't tell you the value I place on my alone time in the morning when the house is quiet and I have no one else's organic vibe rankling the atmosphere. It doesn't even matter if that person is being silent or is away from me - I can still feel them all over me and I have to flee. My head is a bus station full of people and their feelings/intentions that I will automatically try to process and assign. Fe-Ni, kneejerk. Like telling Einstein to pay attention to patents and ignore the equations.

Everything in it's place and a place for everything.

If I didn't a lot of alone time (and I mean hours of it) I would never be functional. Got to wash up and rid myself of the road slime from the day before. Processing and acceptance/rejection, like a person sorting through a box of donated clothes. Ridding your house of clutter and dust is feng shui, and I get a dust storm through my house every day that requires a thorough excommunication. I turn into a dragon if I don't get to take a tour of my island and rattle all the gates and check the moats.

I listen to music, write write write, light chat with friends as I can, but in a semi-removed manner until I power back up.

This is the life I WISH I had the capacity for.

 

[Domino]

This is the life I WISH I had the capacity for.

Too many outside demands needing attention? Can you carve out any Fuzz time?