Quote Originally Posted by penelope View Post
Ugh. Another relationship thing.

Actually, quick update: I'm more of an INTJ these days, so I guess keep that into consideration? But this is more about my ENFP guy...

So far, we've been doing amazingly as a couple, solving all of our issues as soon as they pop up, but this one... I just don't know what to do, and it's wearing on my own patience and is causing me to become really frustrated to the point of passive-aggressive lashing out, which is pretty pointless and stupid, which I realize.

So yeah, he's got this issue with generally having a negative attitude and has been warning me of it, but it's a long distance relationship and I don't see him too often, though I just got back from spending the weekend with him. He was pretty negative most of the time, and yeah, that was wearing on my patience. And just now we got into a fight over how I'm not acknowledging this about him. And maybe, in my head, because I cling to keeping a positive attitude about things (it doesn't make any sense to me to be negative...), I just try to let it slide. But he's accusing me of it really being my own problem in not knowing how to deal with his negativity and how he says that just won't change.

I'm at a loss... how do I deal with this?
When I'm in a perpetual state of negativity(or anxiety), then I know that I am dissatisfied with my life in general. When I am around people that I love and feel extremely connected to, and also feel as though I am contributing to my social circle(or the community at large), I am one happy NF. I need action, I need purpose, and I need a strong/active social circle. If I don't feel like I have these things, it could get ugly.

That being said, I think us NFPs have a reputation for pushing people away sometimes. It says little about you, except that maybe being around you "removes the mask" so to speak. I would also say though, if someone tells you "you don't really know me", I'd personally would take them seriously. He is well aware how much of himself he has revealed to you, so I would heed his words.

How old is he and how long have you guys dated? How many times have you seen each other in person? Also, what exactly is his "dark side"? What does he do?