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[INFP] Male INFPs = Nice Guy/Average Frustrated Chump

metaphours

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I don't know about you but I feel like this. According to the titular article on Wikipedia an Average Frustrated Chump is described as:
Average Frustrated Chump, often abbreviated "AFC," is seduction community jargon for a heterosexual male who is unsuccessful at finding sexual or romantic relationships with women. This person seeks attraction and longingly desires intimacy, but only finds cordial friendship and platonic love with women.

I think that Male INFPs pretty much represent the stereotypical "nice guy" archetype, in that, we are often quite sensitive and reserved when it comes to speaking with the opposite sex/love interests. I often notice myself avoiding girls in general to spare myself the embarrassment of becoming so flustered and end up stuttering/totally making an idiot of myself, and I'm sure that there must be other INFPs who feel the same way.

I have a hard time believing that women truly want a "nice guy" as they say they do, especially when you see so many women with such jerk-offs, you know?
 

A Schnitzel

WTF is this dude saying?
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I don't know man. My INFP friend has a hot girl friend.
 

Nonsensical

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There is an upside to this.

The way I see this is that INFPs are sometimes overlooked. A lot of people see them just as nice guys as failure to percieve what's under the INFPs skin. They don't see deep enough.

But when INFPs do find intimacy, they have a lot of give. The outisde is nice, the inside holds burning passion. I think INFPs are capable of expressing the strongest intimacy, so when they get to an intimate level, it is wonderful.

Do you know what I mean? It was hard to explain, and my brain isn't running in high gear today.
 

Usehername

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There is an upside to this.

The way I see this is that INFPs are sometimes overlooked. A lot of people see them just as nice guys as failure to percieve what's under the INFPs skin. They don't see deep enough.

But when INFPs do find intimacy, they have a lot of give. The outisde is nice, the inside holds burning passion. I think INFPs are capable of expressing the strongest intimacy, so when they get to an intimate level, it is wonderful.

Do you know what I mean? It was hard to explain, and my brain isn't running in high gear today.

INFPs aren't overlooked. They just don't make their move fast enough (i.e. within the first few months) to give the girl a reason to continue to like him. True stories. :)
 

A Schnitzel

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shit mang....
n00dz plz.

Haha, kidding. But I mean, it probably took him a while to like court her and stuff right?

Well he met her at a bar once, but she was from out of town. So they did long distance for a few months before she moved in with him.
 

metaphours

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There is an upside to this.

The way I see this is that INFPs are sometimes overlooked. A lot of people see them just as nice guys as failure to percieve what's under the INFPs skin. They don't see deep enough.

But when INFPs do find intimacy, they have a lot of give. The outisde is nice, the inside holds burning passion. I think INFPs are capable of expressing the strongest intimacy, so when they get to an intimate level, it is wonderful.

Do you know what I mean? It was hard to explain, and my brain isn't running in high gear today.

I get what you mean, but what I don't understand is its almost like a cruel paradox: We have all this love/passion to give, but it seems like no one wants it from us.

INFPs aren't overlooked. They just don't make their move fast enough (i.e. within the first few months) to give the girl a reason to continue to like him. True stories. :)
I disagree. In the situations I've experienced, I typically make the move too fast, prompting me to pour out all these "long repressed feelings" I've had for the girl making her feel overwhelmed and needing to run to the door.

Well he met her at a bar once, but she was from out of town. So they did long distance for a few months before she moved in with him.
Lucky him.
 

Nonsensical

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INFPs aren't overlooked. They just don't make their move fast enough (i.e. within the first few months) to give the girl a reason to continue to like him. True stories. :)

Sometimes they are. Sometimes they can be judged because they don't may not make a move fast enough.

And you can't say that they don't make moves fast enough. In my opinion, you can't assume they are all like that.
 

Nonsensical

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I get what you mean, but what I don't understand is its almost like a cruel paradox: We have all this love/passion to give, but it seems like no one wants it from us.

I agree with you so much, man.

I feel like a lot of people don't look deep enough. They live in shallow waters, do you know what I mean?

Sure, you may not be seen by a lot of people, but when you do find someone who sees you for what you are, then you know it's a person you should develop a strong relationship with.
 

metaphours

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Sure, you may not be seen by a lot of people, but when you do find someone who sees you for what you are, then you know it's a person you should develop a strong relationship with.
The only problem with that is that whenever I find a girl that I do like, no matter what, I always feel like I should develop a strong relationship with her, even if she's not that special. It's so irritating.
 

A Schnitzel

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I disagree. In the situations I've experienced, I typically make the move too fast, prompting me to pour out all these "long repressed feelings" I've had for the girl making her feel overwhelmed and needing to run to the door.


Lucky him.

He wasn't lucky as much as confident and mature.

Making a move doesn't involve pouring out emotion, it involves taking initiative. Something INFPs have a hard time with their inferior Te. Opening up emotionally is what happens after you're dating.
 

metaphours

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He wasn't lucky as much as confident and mature.

Making a move doesn't involve pouring out emotion, it involves taking initiative. Something INFPs have a hard time with their inferior Te. Opening up emotionally is what happens after you're dating.
Note taken!
 

Usehername

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Sometimes they are. Sometimes they can be judged because they don't may not make a move fast enough.

And you can't say that they don't make moves fast enough. In my opinion, you can't assume they are all like that.

Well, of course not. Some INFPs are probably merciless PUAs. But When making large generalizations like assigning someone a type, making large generalizations about the type goes with the territory.

The two INFP male friends I have were both crushed on by several of my female friends, I happened to know they were mutually interested, gave them verbal encouragement, and they still waited it out too long. INFP brother had a serious thing with his ENTP BFF but she waited years for him to ask her out, until finally asking him to their formal dinner in their grade 12 year, and then became disillusioned with him because he was so passive.
 

Alwar

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Did you get your impression of INFP males from INFPgc?
 

Usehername

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I disagree. In the situations I've experienced, I typically make the move too fast, prompting me to pour out all these "long repressed feelings" I've had for the girl making her feel overwhelmed and needing to run to the door.

I believe you, and I believe you're an INFP, but I don't believe this is the norm. IME, they brood for too long and the girls lose confidence in the guys, become self-conscious themselves because they're reading the signals that he has a thing for them but yet he's not making a move, and then they finally decide to get over him after many moons of angsting, and the INFP males are then crushed by their own (lack of) doing.
 

Udog

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The two INFP male friends I have were both crushed on by several of my female friends, I happened to know they were mutually interested, gave them verbal encouragement, and they still waited it out too long. INFP brother had a serious thing with his ENTP BFF but she waited years for him to ask her out, until finally asking him to their formal dinner in their grade 12 year, and then became disillusioned with him because he was so passive.

This is very true. INFPs can be "AFCs" because they are afraid to take the risks they need to have the relationship they want.

So they almost try to passively trick a woman into dating them by becoming friends and never making their desires known. Yeah, that's a quick way to become frustrated.
 

metaphours

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I believe you, and I believe you're an INFP, but I don't believe this is the norm. IME, they brood for too long and the girls lose confidence in the guys, become self-conscious themselves because they're reading the signals that he has a thing for them but yet he's not making a move, and then they finally decide to get over him after many moons of angsting, and the INFP males are then crushed by their own (lack of) doing.
In retrospect, this is actually what I do. But then I become so worried that I'm taking too long to make a move, and then end up making the move too early. It's fucking annoying.
 

Udog

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I disagree. In the situations I've experienced, I typically make the move too fast, prompting me to pour out all these "long repressed feelings" I've had for the girl making her feel overwhelmed and needing to run to the door.

Yeah, the Fi dump is a bit much until she's had a chance to develop romantic feelings for you. Telling a woman how much you love her when you've just started dating is usually scary and stalkerish to them.
 

metaphours

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Yeah, the Fi dump is a bit much until she's had a chance to develop romantic feelings for you. Telling a woman how much you love her when you've just started dating is usually scary and stalkerish to them.
Yeah I understand, but I feel like if I take too long to tell he how I "feel" about her, then we'll never get anywhere in terms of a relationship, because I'll just be stuck in the proverbial "friend zone," which, believe me, you do not ever want to be stuck in.
 

Udog

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Yeah I understand, but I feel like if I take too long to tell he how I "feel" about her, then we'll never get anywhere in terms of a relationship, because I'll just be stuck in the proverbial "friend zone," which, believe me, you do not ever want to be stuck in.

Telling her you are interested is not quite the same as telling her about the hidden depths of your raging passions, though. :) The latter is best served for later.
 
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