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  1. #41
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I find that the "typical nice guy" often equals passive jerk, and they usually possess thinly veiled misogynist views. Doing stuff like becoming a girl's friend to weasel your way into her heart (or bed) is manipulative. Pouring strong emotions onto an unsuspecting woman is overwhelming. That doesn't make you nice. Being reserved and easily embarrassed doesn't make you nice. I just wish these guys would drop the "nice" moniker and realize that their real problem is passiveness and poor social skills. Women don't like jerks, they like guys who aren't clingy and whiny.

    My advice is to take more action and initiative, don't over fantasize and over-think it, get to know the person without the pressure of some love confession, put dating in perspective (it's not a judgment on your soul if you get rejected), don't be a downer, and view and talk to women as people (not goddesses on a pedestal or objects or goals).


    Heartless Bitches International - Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

    Heartless Bitches International - 'NiceGuy', 'Asshole' - Different Sides of the Same Coin
    Often? Really? I feel badly for you!

    Personally, I'm super terrified of emotions (both mine and others), so I stick to communicating as intuitively as possible. If either side can see through the clear eggshell, great. If not, I know I probably won't be comfortable with her in the long run. I am so automatically removed from my thoughts/feelings that I can imagine how someone would be completely dis/interested. Doesn't really concern me either way, really. If something clicks with a woman, it'll happen instinctively; if I feel it, I WILL know immediately and will take swift action. I work with kids, so I love people on the whole. Just spend time with them for the information mostly (and maybe a bi-monthly standaround).

    thinking of you

  2. #42
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    heartless bitches? lol nice site.

  3. #43
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I find that the "typical nice guy" often equals passive jerk, and they usually possess thinly veiled misogynist views. Doing stuff like becoming a girl's friend to weasel your way into her heart (or bed) is manipulative. Pouring strong emotions onto an unsuspecting woman is overwhelming. That doesn't make you nice. Being reserved and easily embarrassed doesn't make you nice. I just wish these guys would drop the "nice" moniker and realize that their real problem is passiveness and poor social skills. Women don't like jerks, they like guys who aren't clingy and whiny.

    My advice is to take more action and initiative, don't over fantasize and over-think it, get to know the person without the pressure of some love confession, put dating in perspective (it's not a judgment on your soul if you get rejected), don't be a downer, and view and talk to women as people (not goddesses on a pedestal or objects or goals).


    Heartless Bitches International - Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

    Heartless Bitches International - 'NiceGuy', 'Asshole' - Different Sides of the Same Coin
    Dang! U tell em.

    Though a lot of the time on their part, I don't think it's quite misogyny, but bitterness that sometimes comes out in misogynistic blurts.

  4. #44
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post


    I think there's a bit of Fi involved here. With me, I felt like going down a romantic path with a girl I wasn't fully in love with was some sort of violation of my Fi romantic ideals. So I would slowly develop deep romantic feelings for her, and when I was finally smitten enough to "tell her how I feel", I had way too much invested.

    I was almost in love with a girl that hadn't had a chance to really view me in a romantic light, and that never turned out well.
    Oh, man. I had this happen with a former guitar teacher of mine, INTJ. When I told him I was moving, instead of "Oh, I'll miss you, please keep in touch," I got an emotional flip-out and a, "What about meeeee?" And I'm all, "hmm?" And basically he confessed his undying love to me. Which was TOTALLY out of left field for me, because I thought we'd just been hanging out and playing music. So, yeah. Dropping smaller hints of interest is good.
    Something Witty

  5. #45
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Daaaaaaaamn calling people out!

    OrangeAppley - can you start a thread in Bonfire or Relationships on this? I would love to hear what people say. There is already a thread on 'nice guys' but if you make the topic more specific like you did in your post, I promise not to merge the threads.
    What's your suggestion for the specific thread topic then? You can take my post and start one if you want


    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    Often? Really? I feel badly for you!
    Notice the quotes. A truly nice guy doesn't fit that description. That's why "nice" is often misapplied.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #46
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post


    It's a weird thing I had noticed between myself and the INFPs over at INFPgc. They think that telling a girl that you are interested in them, in a flattering but direct manner, is some sort of terrible sin. So they either say nothing or wait until the dam bursts and tell her everything.

    I think there's a bit of Fi involved here. With me, I felt like going down a romantic path with a girl I wasn't fully in love with was some sort of violation of my Fi romantic ideals. So I would slowly develop deep romantic feelings for her, and when I was finally smitten enough to "tell her how I feel", I had way too much invested.

    I was almost in love with a girl that hadn't had a chance to really view me in a romantic light, and that never turned out well.
    Story of my life... haha Actually its the story of my right now! Thats fascinating!
    r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...

  7. #47
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    What's your suggestion for the specific thread topic then? You can take my post and start one if you want




    Notice the quotes. A truly nice guy doesn't fit that description. That's why "nice" is often misapplied.
    I'm confused as to why you care!

    No, I just assumed your assertion was obvious before you announced it.

    thinking of you

  8. #48
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    But if somebody has to piss on the wall to separate the duds from the studs, it should be you!

    thinking of you

  9. #49
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    But if somebody has to piss on the wall to separate the duds from the studs, it should be you!
    I pissed on a guy's car once because he flipped me off as he passed me... does that count?
    r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...

  10. #50
    Senior Member Tikka's Avatar
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    Actually, from these two descriptions, I'd say the Nice Guy is an ENFJ. It's a fitting description to these type of people.

    They're active and assertive enough to initiate contact with a girl and take them out on a date, but because they're so focused on pleasing the girl by making wussy actions like asking her 10x an hour how she is, buying her gifts, idealizing her, telling how wonderful she is... that's all a turnoff for girls.

    Probably, to make it more general, an NF is more of a feminine combo. I mean: intuition and feelings, how girlie do you wanna get?

    Am I talking from experience? Yes and yes, I also know ENFJs blame themselves when something goes wrong.

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