[ENFP] ENFP's and flirting

[Lauren]

The kind of flirtation that I would take seriously, however, is when a guy shows interest in you by listening and responding to what you're saying.

I would recognize a guy who just wants to go to bed with me, if friendship wasn't present. That doesn't interest me. But he does what you describe as well. We're friends. This is in part why I've taken this seriously. He listens intently to what I say and remembers it (I'm the same with him)...We've had some deep, interesting conversations and sometimes bounce around on a lot of topics, not wanting to stop talking to one another. Just generally like each other very much.

 

[SillySapienne]

He does that too. This is in part why I've taken this seriously. He listens intently to what I say and remembers it weeks later (I'm the same with him)...We've had some deep, interesting conversations and sometimes bounce around on a lot of topics, not wanting to stop talking to one another. Just generally like each other very much. The touching didn't start (but close body space did) until we had known one another for months and recognized we had personal chemistry.

Sounds good.



So, is this male suitor an ENFP?

 

[Lauren]

Sounds good.



So, is this male suitor an ENFP?

My feeling is that he's a more extroverted INFP, but he could be a quieter ENFP. I'm on the fence about that.

 

[Waffle]

Such an unbelievably familiar story.
I know it's wrong, and I've worked on it so very much.
I've become rather homely in an attempt to keep my naturally flirtatiousness down.
I'm glad I had motivation to work on my faults.

 

[Thalassa]

I was more flirtatious when I was younger. Actually, I was once a professional flirt. However, I do not flirt heavily with other people if I'm in a relationship, because my Fi won't stand for that, I think it's wrong. I also think that leading people on is wrong. If I flirt heavily with someone, that means that I specifically like them and have interest in that individual. In my mind there is a distinct difference between being mildly flirtatious (which I am) and showing interest. I like to think that it's obvious to other people whether I'm just being playful or I'm actually interested. I like to think, because I come off as more intense when I like someone. At this point in my life, the idea of leading someone on makes me feel sad . I wouldn't do it intentionally. If I go out of my way on a regular basis to flirt with a particular guy, it's a pretty safe bet that I do like him and have real interest.

 

[Lauren]

Such an unbelievably familiar story.
I know it's wrong, and I've worked on it so very much.
I've become rather homely in an attempt to keep my naturally flirtatiousness down.
I'm glad I had motivation to work on my faults.

I like your mother Sounds a bit like mine.

 

[garbage]

I'm just gonna go ahead and admit that I like it when I'm seen as attractive. But I allow those perceptions to be developed on their own.

Thus, I don't manipulate situations to try to see whether someone sees me that way, such as sending false flirtatious signals just to get a response out of them. And this is why:

but I would say that for me, if a playful flirtatious person gets extra flirtatious, that's a definite sign...I take that to mean that the person is seriously looking to take things further.

The last thing I would want to do is lead someone on just to stroke my own ego; if I weren't interested in taking things further, I'd stop it before I ever communicated that message.


I 'skipped' the period of my social life where I was supposed to be flirtatious; when I finally got into it, I got sick of it pretty readily. I think I'd outgrown it before I ever experienced it.

That said, I can still relate to the sense of validation that the ENFP in the OP craves, as well as the desire to overcome it. It comes in other forms for me, such as needing approval at work and so on.

 

[MissMaryAnnB]

I'm a master flirt!
Whenever I'm at a bar, I'm never shy to ask the cute guy to my left... 'what's the matter, shrimpy?'
But then again... it's all in good fun, and my flirting is 'mixed' with friendliness. I treat people like that, because it's in my nature, and because I'm a 19 years old girl that isn't taken or married... I might as well enjoy singletown hehehe

 

[Queen Kat]

Am I the only person who never wants to flirt? I totaly hate flirting. I can't help it, but whenever someone tries to flirt with me, it ruins my day. Don't ask me why, it's just the way it is. Sometimes people tell me that I'm flirting and flirtatious, but I don't take it as a compliment. It embarrasses me when I hear that. I wish there was some pill that could cure this strange thing in my mind.

 

[mr.awesome]

i cant seperate friendly flirting from honest affectionate flirting from enfp's. -__- bumms me out.

 

[angelhair45]

I've never been good at "flirting". Or what I call flirting. I am a little too blunt and have always had the tendency to say what I mean.

I am very friendly, I smile a lot, laugh constantly as I talk, move my entire boy around as I talk, touch people, look them in the eye etc. This is not flirting for me, but people can perceive it that way since a lot of people attempt to flirt in that fashion. It is just natural for me. Sometimes I try to reign it in, but usually I just do my thing. I am married, and most of the time my husband is right there, so I feel that generally clarifies the issue of friendliness vs. flirtatiousness.

 

[Pixelholic]

I have this problem where I tend to treat any friend like my best friend in the whole world and a lot of people have started rumors that I like so and so because I look like Im' flirting with her when the truth isn't anything like that. Actual flirting goes right over my head and if someone flirts with me I either miss it completely or I become a stammering mess. The only time I'm halfway decent at flirting is if I'm doing a performance or I'm drunk.

I've had a couple friends who thought I was flirting with them and then got mad at me when I said I didn't have any interest in them.

 

[Lauren]

I have a pretty good antenna when it comes to recognizing a semi-bubbly, could-be-perceived as flirtatious energy. I enjoy it, and can be that way myself at times. For ENFPs, I feel that they love the joy in just connecting and I can relate to that. I usually don't feel that they may actually have an interest in me. I also recognize the awkwardness in XNFPs that says they mean something more than friend. It's pretty easy for me to recognize the difference. Body language and what's underlying what's not said speaks loud and clear to me.

 

[alcea rosea]

To the op, I cannot relate to the flirting quote. I am open with people, I do like to have fun conversations with people but I never imply to anything and I'm very careful not to make anybody think that there would be anything there.

 

[You]

I'm a natural flirt. When I start to think about it, notice it, or even pay any mind to my behavior it sort of is stifled. Like Pixel said, whenever I realize someone is flirting with me, or even giving me any sort of sign I stammer. More often than not things just fly over my head.

 

[You]

Although I get the feeling there is something there to do with self esteem.

 

[Moiety]

When will typology give me a type I can relate to? Maybe I'm an ENTP. Or maybe one of the un-hip ENFPs.

 

[You]

how so?

 

[Vamp]

how so?

Sannosuke believes flirting to be deceptive/inappropriate. Some enfps are like that.

 

[Moiety]

Sannosuke believes flirting to be deceptive/inappropriate. Some enfps are like that.

I don't believe it to be deceptive or inappropriate. I just think it's not cool if it's not honest and not forced. For me personally.


I was more hinting how this is supposedly such a common trait for my type, and as always is not something I can relate to.