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  1. #11
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I missed flirting class in middle school. I have no idea how to flirt with men. I sometimes try but it ends up hysterically retarded.

    None of the few relationships I have been in were started via flirting. Either the guy was nuts and initiated contact or we were both drunk.

    Can I sign up for a class somewhere?

    EDIT: In light of wonka's comment-I assume we search for external affirmation as Ne doms. For me this is typically emotional affirmation from those I am very close to. But perhaps others can find that same sense of affirmation via more general complements/interactions with others around us? Does it replace the emo affirmation or just supplement it? In narcissim there are two types of "supply" ie external affirmation. One is primary-like liquid gold, and the other is secondary-more supplemental in nature. Maybe some of this discssion points towards vauge shadows in us that an order of magnitude large would be seen in a narcissist.

  2. #12
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ123 View Post
    intjs like flirts. to efnps who can't flirt.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Yeah, I don't know about the other ENFPs, but I can definitely flirt.
    Whoa - correction:

    I didn't say I can't flirt, I said that I don't flirt. Not to the extent anyone would call me a flirt. For similar reasons to what Kyuuei said. There's just no pull/validation for me the way that was described in the OP.

    Ne-Monster, I think you are spot on about extraverts/Ne seeking validation like that. I think it's possibly the most annoying trait of Ne doms, ENTPs and ENFPs. It's not necessarily through "flirting" but I've definitely seen ENXPs go overboard seeking validation/stimulation or just unleashing Ne? Or not properly reading people's boundaries. Basically pushing it too far. In different ways but end result is "too much".

    As for flirting, you may think that you don't know "how" to flirt, but often I see people interact and it's called "flirting". If at the root of flirting is a flow of energy and banter that is tinged with sexual tension/vibe and true/hidden meanings and intent below the surface - then I'm sure you've flirted many a time before.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Yeah, I don't know about the other ENFPs, but I can definitely flirt.

    I refrain from flirting because I'm married and I love my wife.
    Pfff. You've been hitting on pretty much anything female and INTJ for at least a couple of weeks now. Even I've noticed.

  4. #14
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Pfff. You've been hitting on pretty much anything female and INTJ for at least a couple of weeks now. Even I've noticed.
    Have I?

    See, I do it so naturally, I don't even realize it half the time.

    I noticed I have been pretty close to the line a couple times recently.

    I'd better be a little more careful then.

    Thanks for pointing it out.
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  5. #15
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah i don't do that...i don't need that sort of affirmation from someone i'm not even with. i'm flirty with someone i'm interested in and start dating though i guess.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #16
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I flirt usually to break the ice. Or joke around.

    If I don't want in your pants and you suspect me flirting with you, it's for one of those two things.

    And since I'm too shy to openly flirt with someone I have affections for, my flirting is usually centered on these two things alone. I'll flirt with an already established relationship though like there's no tomorrow.

    I thought I'd be a bit more clear.. since it seemed like in my earlier post that I NEVER flirt for ANY reason. And it's not true, but what I deem as flirting is the motive to flirt. Obviously my definition is different from that of others, so I thought I'd correct my response.
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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    I missed flirting class in middle school. I have no idea how to flirt with men. I sometimes try but it ends up hysterically retarded.
    Just smile and linger with eye contact.

  8. #18
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Just smile and linger with eye contact.
    Yer easy.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Yer easy.
    It's not that hard... yet!

  10. #20
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Just smile and linger with eye contact.
    damn...if that's considered flirty...maybe i DO all the time with everyone...silly people confusing someone being nice and talking with you as flirty...is that true or what?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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