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  1. #161
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    As long as everyone is clear on where you stand, why wouldn't you use it?
    Not everyone know where you stand if you dont clearly say it. And when you flirt with someone who doesent know why you flirt, he will think that its because your intrested on him romantically, because thats what most people usually do.

    You cant be 100% sure that other guy knows what your up to, unless you allready know him really well or you tell him why you flirt and what does it mean and what does it not mean.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  2. #162
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    BC, I totally hear ya, but it's something that an ENFP has to become aware of. And it takes time, to realize this isn't the way it works for everyone, and that not everyone sees the world the way they do

    The same goes for the other types, I'd say. It takes an ENTP time to realize that not everyone loves being pushed around and be insulted as a joke. It takes an ENTJ time to realize that not everyone can just assert themselves that way and that those who have a different way of going about shit aren't necessarily pussies, etc etc.
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  3. #163
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    Okay I see your point INTP and I would agree with it. I just don't understand the original argument of 'it's not possible to be friends with the opposite gender without sexual tension' that is still bothering me.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

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  4. #164
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keps Mnemnosyne View Post
    I just don't understand the original argument of 'it's not possible to be friends with the opposite gender without sexual tension' that is still bothering me.
    I dont understand what the hell are you talking about
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  5. #165
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    Not everyone know where you stand if you dont clearly say it. And when you flirt with someone who doesent know why you flirt, he will think that its because your intrested on him romantically, because thats what most people usually do.

    You cant be 100% sure that other guy knows what your up to, unless you allready know him really well or you tell him why you flirt and what does it mean and what does it not mean.
    I learned to do just that, and repeat it throughout if needed
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  6. #166
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keps Mnemnosyne View Post
    Mr. Time they are using logic, it is a different version from yours, but it is valid. That was the point of MBTI. There is not a single correct way of living. I think that at best NTs will try not to assume anything until it's proven, whereas NFs are more likely to believe in something that can't be disproved. Neither side is more right than the other, no matter how much it is argued.

    Secondly you have used alot of generalizations. I know for certain that I am not attracted to the ENFP girl disproving for me your idea that I am interested in her sexually. You have assumed that your viewpoint is absolute truth. Logic is based on premises that cannot be proven or disproven.

    I am not trying to argue with you. I am trying to engage in a meaningful debate about it, because I do have friendships with women and yet you state that I cannot without sexual tension. I will think about the idea that unconsciously I still want to have sex with these women of my age group, but I do have friendships with women much older than me who I would never want to have sex with.
    see...there are people out there who just relate on a different level...and we are discussing how we see things...we're just looking through different eyes than you...it's not wrong and neither is yours...it just feels different.

    btw...i'm sorry you were hurt but please understand not all enfps flirt...but extroverts just tend to be more outgoing than others...and being nps were just kinda playful and silly...and being f's were empathetic...you know...so...some of that when combined might read as flirty sometimes....especially if someone wants to believe it is.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  7. #167
    Member allie bug's Avatar
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    i have current situation that i think applies here. i don't know how i got to this outcome, so maybe some non-enfps can give me some feedback

    I saw a guy I hung out with in highschool the other day. He asked for my number and said he was hanging out with the old group this weekend. He gave me a call and asked me to go to a music festival with said group yesterday. pushing through the crowd, he grabbed my hand to make sure we didn't get separated....then the hand holding continued when we were clear.

    later, we went to a friends house and hung out. he sat on the couch next to me, fell asleep, woke up, then put his head in my lap and snuggled my leg while we watched a movie with about 8 people.

    Now, I am not interested in this guy romantically. And at the end of the night I was called "his woman" by someone there. What was I supposed to do to get the point across. Shake his hand off and be standoffish? poke im in the eye when he put his head in my lap? Tell him I don't I'm not interested after a couple hours of hanging out?

    If we give off the wrong impression by flirting (in this case, I felt like I was simply avoiding being a bitch), what do we need to do to clarify what the situation is? I can usually tell if someone is interested in a more-than-friends way after about 15 minutes, wouldn't it be jumping the gun to say "Hey, hold up, you might be liking me, just want to make sure you don't do that"?

  8. #168
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allie bug View Post
    i have current situation that i think applies here. i don't know how i got to this outcome, so maybe some non-enfps can give me some feedback

    I saw a guy I hung out with in highschool the other day. He asked for my number and said he was hanging out with the old group this weekend. He gave me a call and asked me to go to a music festival with said group yesterday. pushing through the crowd, he grabbed my hand to make sure we didn't get separated....then the hand holding continued when we were clear.

    later, we went to a friends house and hung out. he sat on the couch next to me, fell asleep, woke up, then put his head in my lap and snuggled my leg while we watched a movie with about 8 people.

    Now, I am not interested in this guy romantically. And at the end of the night I was called "his woman" by someone there. What was I supposed to do to get the point across. Shake his hand off and be standoffish? poke im in the eye when he put his head in my lap? Tell him I don't I'm not interested after a couple hours of hanging out?

    If we give off the wrong impression by flirting (in this case, I felt like I was simply avoiding being a bitch), what do we need to do to clarify what the situation is? I can usually tell if someone is interested in a more-than-friends way after about 15 minutes, wouldn't it be jumping the gun to say "Hey, hold up, you might be liking me, just want to make sure you don't do that"?
    haha...ahhh...i know what you mean...and i've had to playfully as to not feel bitchy say...omg stop trying to get fresh with me haha

    but yeah that's awkward...

    i think i'd just say...umm...you can stop holding my hand now!!!...in that playful but serious way...shit...is that the right approach? i'm not sure either.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #169
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allie bug View Post
    ...
    Tell him that you are not intrested and you wanted to hang out just as friends.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  10. #170
    Member allie bug's Avatar
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    how do you do that without being rude? i think that may be the core issue here. this happens to me a lot and I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or have them not speak to me anymore bc i'm no longer a "potential mate" as someone else mentioned

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