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  1. #141
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Of course it takes time. But constantly justifying your actions and seeing nothing wrong with them, and saying "well, it's the journey towards enlightenment" just smells like irresponsibility. It's like "poor me, I can't help being who I am, but surely I can't be blamed for that. I can only blame the mean TJs that judge people harshly and without feelings. Me? I'm on the path to something better. I'm not perfect. I can't be expected to be perfect. So I'll just keep doing what comes naturally to me."


    Basically I don't understand the point in what you just said? What are you trying to say? That it takes time? I'm not saying it doesn't.
    I'm saying we're all human and we're all immature at some point. I'm not condoning it, and yes, I agree that we should try to minimize the damage we do to others. VEry much so. But give people a chance to work things out. And don't condemn them on making a mistake. Stop expecting them to be perfect, especially if they show that they are working on it, and struggling with it.

    And lastly, who the f*** determines that the way an ENFP goes about talking to another is wrong. It comes naturally to *most of us* and we're not the only immature people around, I'd like to add. There's a bunch of introverts who are very much very possessive and jealous once they get interested in a person, as they don't easily invest in another person. And I understand that, and that's their immaturity and there is nothing wrong with them having that as a flaw, as they too are still growing.

    What I'm saying is that both are to blame. Not just one of 'em. Understanding where everyone is coming from, is key. And neither should have to give up their way of being though thoughtfulness can be implemented once understanding is reached. From both sides.
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  2. #142
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    I do like how we have two conversation at once in this topic.

    I do know about social psychology as well as social dynamics of mammals. My suggestion to you would be reading about bonobos.

    My point in the previous post is that you do interact with women at least briefly without expecting dates. Friendship with women is simply a deeper interaction.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

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  3. #143
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I see people throwing that kind of line left and right and I can't help but feel it smells a bit untrue, really. I don't see ENFPs making much of an effort to understand things that go directly against their Fi, that often. ENFPs shrug people off as mean or deluded or judgmental just as often as any other type.
    It's a broad sweeping generalization not to be taken literally, which is why I said "kinda interested". Obviously there are lots of people out there, and we only get a chance to interact with a few. Once I happen to end up talking to someone, however that happens, I do become deeply interested in who they are as a person. I don't **shrug** people off as mean, deluded, or judgmental, and I don't think most other ENFPs do either. It's more often that we're the type to give people too many, not too few, chances in a quest to understand.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  4. #144
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    It's a broad sweeping generalization not to be taken literally, which is why I said "kinda interested". Obviously there are lots of people out there, and we only get a chance to interact with a few. Once I happen to end up talking to someone, however that happens, I do become deeply interested in who they are as a person. I don't **shrug** people off as mean, deluded, or judgmental, and I don't think most other ENFPs do either. It's more often that we're the type to give people too many, not too few, chances in a quest to understand.
    I don't know about you specifically, but it's definitely been a trend of ENFPs on this forum to shrug off opinions of others as being judgmental or unfeeling. Especially, and possibly only, if the person giving the opinion has a "J" or "T" in their type code.

  5. #145
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    Into this other conversation I go,

    I do have a friendship with a female ENFP, and she is playful with her comments, but not flirty. What I did was to be playful back. Others around us interpret our conversations as flirting and are coming up to me and asking when I am going to ask her out. I just say that I am not interested in her. She knows that neither of us are interested in each other romantically. I talk to her because she likes to talk about subjects I like to think about. I guess my point is that ENFP conversation may be interpreted as flirting, but it generally isn't.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

    Peach yogurt is made of love. And gnome kidneys. - Domino

    I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou

  6. #146
    Senior Member Liminality's Avatar
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    Coming from an iNFP:

    I think for my birthday this year I'm gonna ask for a day where every one I interact with is an ENFP in the lightly flirting mode.

    Eye contact and teasing matches are great fun when you're both clear about it being a game, it's a really nice way to feel connected and just lighten things up but kind've energize them at the same time. It's like emotionally holding hands, abit.

    Eye contact depends on the person.

    It's like when you can tease or criticize a freind without them feeling pushed away and insulted, you've passed into the friendship stages.

    But this is coming from someone who actively avoids (and would 99.9999% never flirt with) those she's attracted to, and is terrible with picking up romantic signals apart from when it's between two men in the movies (), and even then I have trouble.

    I've accidentally lead a guy on before, too, not realising my attempts to be attentive, warm, open and playful were the wrong way to go with him. Truth of the matter was I just really cared for him as a friend . We get on great now though, he's like my mummydaddy .

    The hilarious thing is, if I'd made this one comment a little clearer, it'd've been clear as day -_-;.

    I think this also comes from having had pretty bad social anxiety for a long long time, I've been learning how to beat it, truth is you've just gotta push yourself out into the deep end if you can take it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Keps Mnemnosyne View Post
    Into this other conversation I go,

    I do have a friendship with a female ENFP, and she is playful with her comments, but not flirty. What I did was to be playful back. Others around us interpret our conversations as flirting and are coming up to me and asking when I am going to ask her out. I just say that I am not interested in her. She knows that neither of us are interested in each other romantically. I talk to her because she likes to talk about subjects I like to think about. I guess my point is that ENFP conversation may be interpreted as flirting, but it generally isn't.
    Yes!
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    It's not that it's bad, it's not that it's death
    It's just on the tip of your tongue, and you're so silent

  7. #147
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    You ENFPs are full of BS...I can't tolerate this anymore. Where is your logic and rational thinking? Flirting leads people on. Flirting is an evolutionary utility created to make the process of mating easier. You can believe what you want, but in the end all the friends you have of the opposite sex are interested in you sexually. You are interested in them sexually also (you're just denying yourself the truth). ENFPs are known to fantasize about others while in a relationship and easily get bored with current friendships and relationships. So who are these people you think about? Really, how are others supposed to trust you?

    I'm leaving this conversation to find an INTJ forum, where people use logic instead of believing what they think to be true as absolute truth. You have to use logic and base your logic on facts, not just assume that you understand everything about yourselves so well. I have to say that most of you are denying the truth to yourselves. Especially if you have INTJ friends of the opposite sex, then I doubt they are just there to be "friends"...if you don't feel sexual attraction, then you're leading them on, and you're about to crush all their hopes. When that's done, they will stop talking to you, forever, because that's what INTJs do.

  8. #148
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Actually, I've been with an INTJ for 10 years. We have a very happy relationship. I hope you one day will see that logic and reason are not the tools to use when it comes to love and relationships, and that it is possible to be a sensible and wise person without relying on those tools predominantly. It will make your life a lot easier. Otherwise, I fear you will get frustrated again in the future as people just aren't the way you think they should be. We cannot all be like you


    If you truly seek answers to the questions you just put in your post, I will gladly answer them for you. Feel free to PM me. If you only tossed them out there in frustration, then there's no point in answering them...yet. Take care
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  9. #149
    Senior Member Liminality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Time View Post
    You ENFPs are full of BS...I can't tolerate this anymore. Where is your logic and rational thinking? Flirting leads people on. Flirting is an evolutionary utility created to make the process of mating easier. You can believe what you want, but in the end all the friends you have of the opposite sex are interested in you sexually. You are interested in them sexually also (you're just denying yourself the truth). ENFPs are known to fantasize about others while in a relationship and easily get bored with current friendships and relationships. So who are these people you think about? Really, how are others supposed to trust you?

    I'm leaving this conversation to find an INTJ forum, where people use logic instead of believing what they think to be true as absolute truth. You have to use logic and base your logic on facts, not just assume that you understand everything about yourselves so well. I have to say that most of you are denying the truth to yourselves. Especially if you have INTJ friends of the opposite sex, then I doubt they are just there to be "friends"...if you don't feel sexual attraction, then you're leading them on, and you're about to crush all their hopes. When that's done, they will stop talking to you, forever, because that's what INTJs do.
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  10. #150
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    If you truly seek answers to the questions you just put in your post, I will gladly answer them for you. Feel free to PM me. If you only tossed them out there in frustration, then there's no point in answering them...yet. Take care
    Hey, I tried to PM you, but it says your inbox is full (or something like that).

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