it wasnt a promise, just an invitation and casual yea I'll come down, then a spontaneous not showing up cause I fell asleep.
Saying that you'll show up is a promise, at least in my book. I'd not get mad in this case, probably slightly annoyed. But if you can provide a reasonable explanation, there wouldn't be any long-term sharpening of knives
I think that any human being would get annoyed at this, but especially J's. My ESTJ friend... she gets really mad when someone blows her off, since she doesn't like not having a schedule. Then here the INFJs are inputting... and yeah.
I would say I tend to get pissed when people flake on me, but the degree of how pissed I get just varies.
If someone does the casual thing though, if they say "I MIGHT go, I'm not sure", I personally don't count on it automatically. I won't wait around and I won't get pissed if they don't show up. When someone says "Maybe I'll go" to me, I just take that as "No, until further notice".
It's when someone gives me a definite "Yes", doesn't show up, and doesn't let me know that I get pissed off. Even if it's a big night out, I can cope with the disappointment of being canceled on if someone has the consideration to call and say "I'm sorry, I can't make it". I might be disappointed, but not pissed off.
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien