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  1. #11
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Oh, I should add that I DO get pissier if someone repeatedly flakes on me. It's like that three strikes rule. First two times I can deal but you do it a third time and I'll get bitey. *chompy chomp*
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  2. #12
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ123 View Post
    You don't show up for something they invited you to, that you kind of said you were going to go to.
    If I were you, I'd write a cheezy 2 stanza rhyming poem that voiced an apology using a nice pen and a carefully folded piece of paper, put it in an envelope, and then I'd hand-deliver it to their doorstep and immediately walk away.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #13
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    When somebody tells me they're going to do something and then they don't do it, I start dealing with them on the assumption that they don't mean what they say, in which case I stop listening to them/my interest in them drops.

  4. #14
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    If I were you, I'd write a cheezy 2 stanza rhyming poem that voiced an apology using a nice pen and a carefully folded piece of paper, put it in an envelope, and then I'd hand-deliver it to their doorstep and immediately walk away.
    I like this idea for an INFJ.

  5. #15
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Good one, Usehername.

    It really depends on how much energy I've put into the event/occasion. Did your friends invite you to dinner (which requires shopping, cooking food, cleaning the house)? Or did they just invite you to watch a movie with them?
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  6. #16
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    well here we go again, the infj cold shoulder silent treatment routine.

  7. #17
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    I wouldn't really get pissed off by someone unintentionally missing something we planned to do. If I hadn't heard from them, initially I'd wonder what held them up, if they didn't typically flake on me, and hope that things were all right on their end.

    If a pattern of breaking plans began to emerge, regardless of how often they clearly stated they'd be there, I'd probably just say, "cool, see ya then; let me know if anything changes between now and then." & I wouldn't really invest much in it. If they showed up, cool. If not, well, I'm not surprised; I realize my friend has the tendency to break plans. People seem to get pissed off because they had expectations that may not be applicable to the actual person they're dealing with.

    Also, I don't really map out elaborate events, either, so, although I may plan on/look fwd to spending time with a friend, the activities are usually something we can do some other time, and I remain fairly easygoing about it. No real loss there.

    I could get annoyed waiting around for them to come over, I guess, but I figure reconfirming your plans and such can come in handy here. Usually I'll ask friends to let me know when they're on their way, if possible. If I haven't heard from them, then it seems appropriate to contact them, to see what's going on. Why waste time getting annoyed if I can easily communicate to resolve it, and, if need be, move on to doing something else with my day?

    Can't change people; you can only work out new ways to interact with them to resolve things.

    If it's continually problematic, no matter how I try to communicate, etc, and I realize I'm always putting forth a more significant amount of effort into spending time with this friend, than they are with me [assuming there's nothing messed up going on in their lives at the time to acct for the behavior to some extent], then I just stop making plans with them. I don't ignore them, I don't bother getting mad or upset and exploding at them. I just stop actively seeking out their company. In the end, neither of us has truly lost anything, right? No harm done.


    Seems like explaining why you failed to make it is sufficient enough in your situation, imo. Falling asleep ..happens.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

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    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  8. #18
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    You should have remember to give yourself a way out before... See, if you've said I'll probably be there... or you'll try your best to be there, then there wouldn't have been any problems.

    But you said you WOULD. So yes... do as usehername suggested and give her a nice big apology.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  9. #19
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ123 View Post
    You don't show up for something they invited you to, that you kind of said you were going to go to.
    Mad? No. Really annoyed with you? Yes.

    But then it also depends on what we were going to do. Like, say we were both going to meet up somewhere or do something that required me to not do anything else that would be an involved activity, then yeah, I'd be rightfully annoyed with you not showing up. Because it's inconsiderate especially since I have to put things on hold while I wait for you. It's the fact that I can't do anything else at the time that is the major annoyance...and if it was going to be an involved activity, I wouldn't do anything else out of consideration for you. Because what if you showed up a little late (which I'm fine with), but I got bored so now you have to wait on me to finish/drop what I'm doing.

    If it's any other situation, then I probably would be a little irritated, but I wouldn't hold it against you and would certainly wonder what might have happened to you.

    And then if you called later and said "Oh shit, I'm so sorry!!! I fell asleep! I was so tired today because I didn't get to sleep last night. The neighbour's cats were carrying on and you don't I don't sleep well with a lot of noise...blah blah blah", I wouldn't find it hard to forgive you as accidents happen.

    Also if you called before our event and told me you couldn't make it or would be late, then I'd be fine with that.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

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