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  1. #1
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Angry INFPs: Being used

    Ugh.

    (This thread is mainly for INFPs, but my fellow NFs are welcome to give their two cents on how they feel about this subject, and whether or not they have experienced it. I debated with myself over whether or not I should put this in my blog, but then I realized it would probably get more views, thus more responses and opinions here.)

    This seems to be the depressing motif of my/our dreary existence/sickening plotline. Every so often, I'll meet a person who does it for me. Someone who excepts me and understands me on a level that's just unbelievable almost. I feel like I can do whatever.. say whatever, when I'm around this person. The person makes me feel giddy and illuminated inside; and for the first time since the last time, I feel the blood coursing down my veins in pure joy and excitement...

    ...Only for all those feelings to come crashing down on me at the speed of light. You realize that this person is just using you. Yes. For whatever reason, it doesn't matter. The point is that they used your ability (vulnerability in this case) to reach out a caring hand, whenever someone is in need. Your ability to truly listen to people and cherish them like no other. They use you to pour out their heart and soul, so they can tell themselves that someone truly cares about them in this "big bad ol' world"; and when they're done with you, they discard you, leaving you like you were before, lonely and abandoned. Whenever this happens to me (which is a lot) I feel like some lowly prostitute, who someone used just for one night to get their kicks and then tosses you back on the side of theroad again, naked and sniffling, just to wander the world for eternity, the process repeating itself over and over.


    It sucks.

  2. #2
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I deal with this by allocating my time based on what I can handle and anyone who wants to fck with it can kiss my furry ass. As long as my energy isn't wasted I don't feel used anymore, especially when it comes to things I enjoy either doing or the results of doing. This doesn't help in the realm of love though; I'm still working on how I can initiate with out being used.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Jezus pleasuz, Metaphours! here's a hug. Here's another.

    Now what you do is, say to yourself, "Fuck 'em!" and then you walk on.

    Alternatively, you could say to yourself, "I've helped myself right out of a job with this person, as now they seem not to need me anymore, I must be good at what I do!"

    Or anything but the prostitute by the side of the road thing, which is killing me. *goes off in search of Kleenex*

  4. #4
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I deal with this by allocating my time based on what I can handle and anyone who wants to fck with it can kiss my furry ass. As long as my energy isn't wasted I don't feel used anymore, especially when it comes to things I enjoy either doing or the results of doing. This doesn't help in the realm of love though; I'm still working on how I can initiate with out being used.
    Note taken!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Jezus pleasuz, Metaphours! here's a hug. Here's another.

    Now what you do is, say to yourself, "Fuck 'em!" and then you walk on.

    Alternatively, you could say to yourself, "I've helped myself right out of a job with this person, as now they seem not to need me anymore, I must be good at what I do!"
    Hmm, yeah I guess so. I guess I could just look at it more optimistically then?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Or anything but the prostitute by the side of the road thing, which is killing me. *goes off in search of Kleenex*
    Yes, I know. I'm quite the melodrama

  5. #5
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    (Is it possible that you need to analyze the situations differently?)

    Also, if you take the time to realize you are getting something out of it you don't feel as used anymore. Why ARE you spending time with these people, if you aren't getting anything out of it at the time?

  6. #6
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Also, if you take the time to realize you are getting something out of it you don't feel as used anymore. Why ARE you spending time with these people, if you aren't getting anything out of it at the time?
    Yeah, well I feel as if I am getting something out of being with those people, but it's hard, once you finally realized you've just been used, because you feel like it was completely pointless for you even to be with them.

  7. #7
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Then why are you spending time with them?

  8. #8
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Then why are you spending time with them?
    I only realize afterwards that it was completely pointless. It's not like I knew they were using me the whole time. That would be retarded.

  9. #9
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metaphours View Post
    It sucks.
    It really does suck.

    I've done that plenty of times - been there for someone when they are down, and had them disappear on me the second they were back on their feet.

    I really had to spend some personal reflection on why that kept on happening, over and over again. I don't believe it to be coincidence.

  10. #10
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    It really does suck.

    I've done that plenty of times - been there for someone when they are down, and had them disappear on me the second they were back on their feet.

    I really had to spend some personal reflection on why that kept on happening, over and over again. I don't believe it to be coincidence.
    I think as INFPs, we're just so willing to give our all, you know? Like if someone needs help, we're one of the few people to actually give them it. And not just help, it's help from the heart, help that matters because we actually care about that person, no matter if we just met, or if we've been friends forever.

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