Holy shee-at. You have no clue. Luckily, my current took it all well and told me he wants me to happy and loves my good and bad qualities. He thinks i'm wonderful and can't figure out why I'm negative about myself. I always saw myself as everyone transition girl. I figure they date me until i can find someone better to hook them up with.
Part fo it is momentary freak outs, but a lot of it has to do with my beliefs growing up. My dad taught me that I wasn't supposed to ask for much or much help, and would do the same for himself. So I learned never to take, only give. I usually end up in a lot of crappy situations. I also went on to have only one friend until I was in high school. No one would talk to me, sit next to me, eat with me. I got rocks thrown at me everyday after school, and I ended up developing anorexia.
Don't let these negativities become your beliefs, or you're going to end up with your freakouts being a lot more ... troubling. I still can't ask for anything. I still have issues letting my boyfriend take me out to lunch or pay for anything let alone help me carry anything that's heavy. I still can't see anything worth in me, except as everyone's helper.