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Thread: So, INFPs...

  1. #1
    Senior Member RenaiReborn's Avatar
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    Default So, INFPs...

    Have converted me from pursuing only those 'intellectuals' who seemed to continuously mess with my mind.

    I've never experienced anything as magnetic as this person whom I have met recently, and am apparently now in a relationship with. Being the INTJ that I am, however, my energies in this relationship are now going to go to make sure that he is absolutely and completely happy and satisfied with everything (or as close as we can get to that).

    What makes INFPs happy?
    What makes them feel appreciated?
    Is there anything NOT to say/do?
    What do they find attractive?
    What do they not find attractive?
    What is their primary method of communication?

    ^All of these questions are just to get a general understanding, not specific, or necessarily always correct.

  2. #2
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    What makes INFPs happy?

    ---> Knowing they can be themselves around you is very important to happiness. They want to know that you will accept them for who they are and that you will be as nonjudgmental as you can, at least when you are spending time with them. As well, they love knowing that their partner is happy, so just try to have as much fun as you can. They care very deeply about how their partner is feeling.

    What makes them feel appreciated?

    ---> It can be a lot of things. Small things like laughing at their jokes, complimenting them, telling them that they are very special, beautiful, etc. Talking about their ideas with them and being interested in their inner world as well as their outer.

    Is there anything NOT to say/do?

    ---> Don't make judgmental comments. If you find them acting "weird" for example, don't say with attitude Why on Earth did you do that?? This is a very big not-to-say. Instead of scorning them for their actions they want to be appreciated as individuals. Take pleasure in their oddities.

    What do they find attractive?

    ---> People who can be themselves and express themselves in a way that is unique. People who are smart and have vibrant personalities. And of course physical attraction is subjective.

    What do they not find attractive?

    ---> Mean people, judgmental people, ignorant people.

    What is their primary method of communication?

    ---> They love communicating through figuratives and metaphors. They will also do things that have much deeper meaning to them if you look behind it all. They love communicating in symbols and symbolism, it's very big with them.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I don't know that many INFP's, so if the following seems wrong to you, please tell me. These are my impressions.

    Unsolicited advice can feel condescending to the INFP spirit. We're probably accutely aware of the issue already, and having it brought into the light can feel like a slap.

    It's important to us that the people we're with feel happy and understood, so we often demure. It gives us strength to do this. Of course, sometimes we just can't decide! And we seem wishy-washy.

    Sincerity is everything. You can say almost anything, as long as you do it from the heart. We're unconcerned with how smart or sophisticated you seem.

    My $.o2.

  4. #4
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    I think these two hit a lot of good points, and I agree.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  5. #5
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    A friend of mine on here (actually an INTJ himself) asked me this same question. Here is what I put-

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat's PM
    INFPs want someone that we can totally be ourselves with. We have to withhold all of the bad sides of ourselves since we don't want our Fi trampled, and someone who we can completely be ourselves with is a must. It's like a sanctuary. Along with all of that we seem to naturally want someone who "gets" us. We require someone who we can have meaningful conversations with. Someone who will be emotionally tender for us, and someone we can be emotionally tender around. Trust is a big thing, we like knowing you're totally trustworthy and we like knowing that you trust us. We tend to want someone who we can care for emotionally, we love to "fix" people's emotional problems who we are close to. We love people who are opinionated, people who are opinionated are very interesting and more trustworthy IMO.
    Now, I think that that at least covered happiness. Now to answer the rest.

    What makes them feel appreciated? I'd say what makes us specifically feel appreciated is that we are your doormat for your issues. We love to hear about your personal problems and to solve them (or of anyone else we care for). If you tell us these personal details it lets us know we're trusted. Other than that I'd say what makes a person feel appreciated is, well, subjective to them and you could figure it out or ask it.

    Is there anything NOT to say/do? Don't trample our baby Te, and don't get onto us about things that baby Te has caused us unless it's constructive and not mean sounding.

    What do they find attractive? Well, for male INFPs I imagine that they really like boobs. But I think the long paragraph up there might have summed this up.

    What do they not find attractive? Well, I'd say reverse what we require- like I mentioned in the paragraph and you've got it.

    What is their primary method of communication? I'm not really sure how to answer this.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #6
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    This is all in I/Me format because I don't know if it applies to ALL INFPs.

    What makes INFPs happy?
    Feeling loved, special, and appreciated.

    What makes them feel appreciated?
    Initiate things with me. Be the one to kiss me first, ask to hang out, etc. Verbal appreciation is great. Do small, subtle things that show that you care. Even if it seems insignificant, I will add meaning to them. Open up to me about your problems and emotions.

    Is there anything NOT to say/do?
    Don't be harsh and don't insult my values. Don't verbalize character judgements.

    What do they find attractive?
    1. Depth, intelligence
    2. Openness, honesty
    3. Affection, romance
    4. Humor, banter
    5. When the other person takes charge. When they're a solid rock.
    6. When you listen to me.

    What do they not find attractive?
    1. Anything that clashes with our morals.
    2. Lack of morals.
    3. Violence/harshness/cruelty
    4. Judgemental people

    What is their primary method of communication?
    I don't know what you're asking exactly, but I'll try.
    It is easier to open up over the phone than in person.
    I'm very direct. I'll only hide stuff if I feel like you'll get needlessly upset.
    I love symbolism.
    Everybody needs love.

  7. #7
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    What makes INFPs happy?
    Feeling they can trust you. Being accepted. Hugs.

    What makes them feel appreciated?
    Praise. Trust. Honesty. Hugs.

    Is there anything NOT to say/do?
    Don't criticize us! We hates it! D:

    What do they find attractive?
    Confidence, kindness, openness, warmth. Gentleness.

    What do they not find attractive?
    Uncaring actions. Coldness. Rudeness.

    What is their primary method of communication?
    Gushing out their soul and feelings. >.> Well okay, if they trust you they want to open up as much as possible. Metaphors and pretty language are often apparent. We are also smashing listeners.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  8. #8
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I'll answer the important ones:

    What makes INFPs happy?
    Marshmallow Peeps.

    What makes them feel appreciated?
    Buying us Marshmallow Peeps.

    Is there anything NOT to say/do?
    Take away our Marshmallow Peeps.


  9. #9
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I'll answer this personally, and keep in mind I am a woman, and individual male answers may be totally different.

    What makes INFPs happy?
    Feeling special, connecting on "deeper" levels with people in conversation, feeling safe to share what is important to me and having it respected and/or in common with someone, feeling accepted by those I admire/value, having interest shown in my thoughts/inner world.

    What makes them feel appreciated?
    Praise and acknowledgment for my skills/talent/intelligence as not only being practical contributions (often in an abstract sense), but also as beautifying the world and bringing it closer to an ideal.
    Seeking me out specifically and wanting to spend quality alone time together. Making me a priority over other people. A simple "thanks" goes a long way; I know I can feel my efforts get overlooked a lot. Giving positive reinforcement when I take the initiative, as it can be scary for me.

    Is there anything NOT to say/do?
    Do not trivialize my feelings. Do not invalidate my viewpoint. Do not belittle my beliefs. Do not nitpick every little error I make; please see the "big picture", as that's where I'm coming from. Don't make unjustified and harsh criticism; encourage "growth" instead. Avoid stepping on my values. My main values can easily be determined by getting to know the basics about me. Tread carefully when you tease - don't take it too far.

    What do they find attractive?
    Well, in a friend or a potential romantic partner, I like someone who is more outgoing than me, takes initiative, imaginative and spontaneous, adventurous, playful, both witty and silly, enjoys conversation about ideas/concepts/theories, affectionate, appreciates culture and the arts, not pretentious or snobby, recognizes a need for spirituality, kind, compassionate, and intelligent.

    What do they not find attractive?
    Arrogance, competitiveness, violence, vulgarity, aesthetically unappealing things (ie. ugly clothes), people who are all about the physical and who may even mock intellectual things (they seem "shallow" to me), immorality, being overly practical, and surface chit-chat.

    What is their primary method of communication?
    Email
    Written word is easiest for me. However, if I am going to talk, I like to talk in person. Nothing can replace facial expressions, hand gestures, and tone of voice. Oh, and I'll echo that metaphors/symbolism is a big thing with me. I also like absurdities and I tend to use understated humor.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #10
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    What makes INFPs happy?
    Cuddles, semi-indepth conversations on random subjects, time alone with SO

    What makes them feel appreciated?
    cuddles, sex (depending on how close the relationship is), actions based on that appreciation involving what the individual INFP enjoys

    Is there anything NOT to say/do?
    call one a cold, unfeeling bastard... hammer at their mistakes too much

    What do they find attractive?
    too subjective (for me: good discussion partners, the look of "I'm trouble" on her face...)

    What do they not find attractive?
    excessively controlling or limiting (eg: my ability to go outside is non-negotiable, all attempts to prevent this will fail)

    What is their primary method of communication?
    subtle body language, though can be trained to use other methods (personally, I know I'm more physical than verbal with my affection)
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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