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Thread: So, INFPs...

  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    What do they find attractive?
    too subjective (for me: good discussion partners, the look of "I'm trouble" on her face...)

    What is this "I'm in trouble" look you speak of?
    We always have a choice.

  2. #12
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Aside - when this INFP is upset don't jump into 'fix' mode - just be there, listen, be the shoulder to cry on. When the tempest seems to be letting up encourage me to talk about how a feel about whatever is bothering me if I'm not going there already (if still not sure of a 100% safe place the feelings won't be spoken of at first). Let this happen then ask 'How can I help?' - let me provide an idea or two. At this point begin to make a suggestion or two, carefully watching body language. Encourage me to write a letter to you about it - this provides space and an opportunity to order my thoughts coherently.

    This is all stuff I learned about myself through years with an ENTJ.

    If your both comfortable with it as a philosophical subject take it as a mutual challenge to write out what you need in times of emotional stress and compare notes.

    Very best wishes!!

  3. #13
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little.bad.apple View Post
    What is this "I'm in trouble" look you speak of?
    It cannot be described, only experienced...

    and it's "I'm trouble" not "I'm in trouble".
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #14
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KristenSnowdeal View Post
    ...
    Being the INTJ that I am, however, my energies in this relationship are now going to go to make sure that he is absolutely and completely happy and satisfied with everything (or as close as we can get to that).
    ...
    Uhht-oohh. My something is wrong here sense is tingling. Here's some advice...don't do that. If I'm an INFP then I know that there's nothing more annoying then someone trying to make everything perfect and wanting to always know when something is wrong or that they did something. If this person likes you just enjoy being with them and not try to over-plan everything.

    Oh, and I looked up the relationship on socionics and it confirms my first reaction, so it's probably worth looking over and considering.


    Relations of Benefit

    These relations are asymmetrical. One partner, called the Benefactor, is always in a more favourable position in respect to the other partner who is known as Beneficiary.

    The Beneficiary thinks of the Benefactor as an interesting and meaningful person, usually over-evaluating them in the beginning. The Beneficiary can be impressed and delighted by their partner's behaviour, manners, thoughts and their ability to easily deal with things that the Beneficiary conceives as complicated. When partners are together, the Beneficiary involuntarily starts to ingratiate themselves with the Benefactor, trying to please them without any obvious reason. In the worst cases this starts from little things and then becomes bigger until the Beneficiary realises the foolishness of their situation.

    The Beneficiary can see the weakness of the Benefactor, wishing to help their partner to strengthen themselves. Because the strongest point of the Beneficiary is the weak and unconscious point of the Benefactor, the Beneficiary is convinced that they are able to help. However, when the Beneficiary tries to help, the Benefactor usually refuses the help without any good explanation. The Beneficiary usually listens to every word the Benefactor says but there is no feedback, the Benefactor can not hear the Beneficiary. This may be sometimes unpleasant and even irritating for the Beneficiary.

    The Benefactor accepts the Beneficiary as somebody who is lower in rank or social position and often undervalues them in the beginning. The reason for this is that the Benefactor feels that the Beneficiary needs something from them, that special something that only the Benefactor can provide. Therefore the Benefactor naturally finds themselves in an advanced position in respect to the Beneficiary, but are at the same time willing to encourage and take care of the Beneficiary.

    Relations of Benefit may appear even and conflict free. Usually it is the Benefactor who initiates the contact. Partners can even feel some kind of spiritual connection between them. However, relations last only as long as the Benefactor has something to give and the Beneficiary has need of it. If this major condition is no longer fulfilled, relations enter quite an unpleasant stage of their development. The Beneficiary may begin ignoring the Benefactor completely or they may start to accentuate too many of the Benefactors inability, provoking arguments and quarrels. Finally, when the Benefactor is in a superior position to the Beneficiary, it can work quite well, but not when it is the other way round!

  5. #15
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure Kristen is actually ILI (along with most MBTI INTJs). Making it a Kindred relationship. Unless the guy is EII, which is also common for MBTI INFPs. Making it Benefit again.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  6. #16
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Why must people refer to socionics in reference to MBTI...

    WHYYYYY

    Just because you feel a certain way doesn't make it universal to all INFPs.

    Kristen just so happens to be very happy in her relationship, and he likes her a lot.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  7. #17
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Why must people refer to socionics in reference to MBTI...

    WHYYYYY

    Just because you feel a certain way doesn't make it universal to all INFPs.

    Kristen just so happens to be very happy in her relationship, and he likes her a lot.
    Some people just don't know the difference, and many of them don't seem to care that there is one.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #18
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Some people just don't know the difference, and many of them don't seem to care that there is one.
    It's close enough to MBTI (yes, it's technically different but people are more familiar with MBTI and probably won't want to invest in an hour long test to find out they are probably still the same type) and that's why I say consider and not this will happen, beware! even if they were sure of their socionic type.

    All I know is I've successfully applied socionic relation examples to types (that I'm sure of) of people close to me that have failed relationships and have found the reasoning described in Socionics to be a very accurate depiction of what went wrong.

    So don't freak out, it's just something to think about. That's why I post those things. Logic has its place to sometimes. If you pet logic on the head and give it ice cream once in a while sometimes it will help clarify some things. You can never have enough knowledge about a given situation. It always helps.

  9. #19
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    *cough* Benefit relationships do too work... *cough*

    Was never here.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  10. #20
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little.bad.apple View Post
    What is this "I'm in trouble" look you speak of?
    Jared Mees & The Grown Children - In The Fall

    You're givin' me that look that says
    You're in it deep
    Unless that's the look that says
    Tonight don't plan on any sleep
    I guess I'll take my chances with the one
    Hold out hope for the other
    But girl oh wait a second that smile's kinda
    Blowin' your cover
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

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