It could just be me, but I often feel alot of rage, I repress alot of stuff, I squish down anger to keep harmony even though I know it's not good for the long term.
The thing is, often I can't control it, instead of just anger or irritation I have days where I wake up full of very intense rage, the kind that makes me want to hit something, or go somewhere extremely isolated so that I can scream like a banshee. (wonder if that's where the myth of the banshee really came from? frustrated women who ran out onto the moors to scream their anger to the empty violent sky)
I've tried a punching bag, but my rage increases, I've tried counting to ten but with each number I feel my rage getting worse.
It gets so bad sometimes that I end up crying in frustration because there are no healthy ways to express all of this rage.
Normally I will just smoke the rage away when it gets really bad, just smoke til I'm far too stoned to actually care about how angry I feel. However I've quit all of that, and don't want to use drugs to cope anymore.
The last time in my life I had rage issues like this, was as a teenager (13-15) and back then I would just take my rage out on whoever gave me the chance, which is just not who I am these days.
I really don't want to cry today, nor do I want to walk around feeling this intense rage, I just want it to go.
So does anybody have any methods they use when they feel this build up of intense emotions?
I'm a single mum, 3 kids, so I can't just go off somewhere to be alone.