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  1. #1
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Default How do you deal with rage/anger?

    It could just be me, but I often feel alot of rage, I repress alot of stuff, I squish down anger to keep harmony even though I know it's not good for the long term.

    The thing is, often I can't control it, instead of just anger or irritation I have days where I wake up full of very intense rage, the kind that makes me want to hit something, or go somewhere extremely isolated so that I can scream like a banshee. (wonder if that's where the myth of the banshee really came from? frustrated women who ran out onto the moors to scream their anger to the empty violent sky)

    I've tried a punching bag, but my rage increases, I've tried counting to ten but with each number I feel my rage getting worse.

    It gets so bad sometimes that I end up crying in frustration because there are no healthy ways to express all of this rage.

    Normally I will just smoke the rage away when it gets really bad, just smoke til I'm far too stoned to actually care about how angry I feel. However I've quit all of that, and don't want to use drugs to cope anymore.

    The last time in my life I had rage issues like this, was as a teenager (13-15) and back then I would just take my rage out on whoever gave me the chance, which is just not who I am these days.

    I really don't want to cry today, nor do I want to walk around feeling this intense rage, I just want it to go.

    So does anybody have any methods they use when they feel this build up of intense emotions?

    I'm a single mum, 3 kids, so I can't just go off somewhere to be alone.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  2. #2
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Currently I'm (well obviously typing, but before that) staring at a wall, but not really here. My heart is pounding, and I feel adrenaline rushing through me, my breathing is agitated. I feel so angry, really just want to......I don't know what I want, I just want to calm down lol.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  3. #3
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I tend to disable it. And untill I figure out how to do so, I don't fight it, I just ride the wave, while analyzing where it comes from. Once I know the point of origin, I pull the plug on it.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #4
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I tend to disable it. And untill I figure out how to do so, I don't fight it, I just ride the wave, while analyzing where it comes from. Once I know the point of origin, I pull the plug on it.
    I know the origin, certain people in my life, but it is pointless, an exercise in sheer futility to hope for change on their parts, and so I am left with the rage, which I will eventually repress until the next time it flares up over the same people and the same situations.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  5. #5
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I know the origin, certain people in my life, but it is pointless, an exercise in sheer futility to hope for change on their parts, and so I am left with the rage, which I will eventually repress until the next time it flares up over the same people and the same situations.
    It's not futile. Granted, my past wasn't nearly as bad as yours, but I came here becoz of it, to get rid of not anger and rage, but insecurity and hurt. It does work, once you gain the info you need for the analysis. Don't give up
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #6
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Ever try rationalizing your anger as a way to detach from your emotional state and cool down?

    I know some sources probably advise against rationalizing anger, but I think it might actually be encouraged by cognitive behavior therapy.

  7. #7
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Ever try rationalizing your anger as a way to detach from your emotional state and cool down?

    I know some sources probably advise against rationalizing anger, but I think it might actually be encouraged by cognitive behavior therapy.
    I'm not sure I know what you mean, or how to do that?

    Do you mean rationalizing the behaviour of others that is causing me the anger?
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  8. #8
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    By taking it out on me.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  9. #9
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    By taking it out on me.
    Haha that sounds like a plan, but not one that helps me right now.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  10. #10
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I'm not sure I know what you mean, or how to do that?

    Do you mean rationalizing the behaviour of others that is causing me the anger?
    I think it's more about rationalizing how you interpret and react to the unpleasant events.

    Now that I look it up, there seems to be a whole therapy based on it called rational emotive behavior therapy:

    One of the main objectives in REBT is to show the client that whenever unpleasant and unfortunate activating events occur in people's lives, they have a choice of making themselves feel healthily and self-helpingly sorry, disappointed, frustrated, and annoyed, or making themselves feel unhealthily and self-defeatingly horrified, terrified, panicked, depressed, self-hating, and self-pitying. By attaining and ingraining a more rational and self-constructive philosophy of themselves, others and the world, people often are more likely to behave and emote in more life-serving and adaptive ways.
    Rational emotive behavior therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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