[ENFJ] ENFJ's and emotional needs?

[Domino]

I find it necessary
What aboot you?

I find it compulsory and second nature. I've found no "off" switch unless something floods the decks and puts out the pilot light.

Something is wrong if the clouds aren't building to the doorstep of heaven.

 

[Thursday]

I find it compulsory and second nature. I've found no "off" switch unless something floods the decks and puts out the pilot light.

Something is wrong if the clouds aren't building to the doorstep of heaven.

Or if the "storm" is stagnate
I find the tides always billow out to somewhere or someone
not as a force of anger, but as a resting place or end result
as if the storm were processing something

 

[Domino]

Or if the "storm" is stagnate
I find the tides always billow out to somewhere or someone
not as a force of anger, but as a resting place or end result
as if the storm were processing something

Yes. It's aware, isn't it? The stormy weather. The force isn't menacing, it's velocity, it's thought, it's consciousness. I've often felt empathy for the Earth, building hurricanes and cyclones to cool itself, which seems like a strange way to remain or get calm, though what I feel isn't nearly so destructive or scary.

In a natural state, spin-up is just purgation. Or a quest.
In an agitated state, it's a tidal wave.

Meanwhile, rain and the lightning high in the clouds hurts no one.

 

[Thursday]

Yes. It's aware, isn't it? The stormy weather. The force isn't menacing, it's velocity, it's thought, it's consciousness. I've often felt empathy for the Earth, building hurricanes and cyclones to cool itself, which seems like a strange way to remain or get calm, though what I feel isn't nearly so destructive or scary.

In a natural state, spin-up is just purgation. Or a quest.
In an agitated state, it's a tidal wave.

Meanwhile, rain and the lightning high in the clouds hurts no one.

Right - its a form of purging or pruning
You could not have put it any better by saying "Evil gives me wings"
Using the more destructive forces to make way for the constructive ones

 

[Domino]

Dead trees gotta go down.

 

[Neutralpov]

hurricane?

That was so poetic I don't know what to think ladies.

I think my brooding is negative and critical and can be bad and become dwelling which magnifies a problem sometimes out of proportion. Not a fan of the internal storm.

P.S. Would you say you feel like Jean gray from X-men? Random thought.

 

[Domino]

Oh, we're natural brooders. I've noticed this in myself and my ENFJ male friend. Even my INFJ dad does it frequently. It seems to be a strong duality in our nature - the light and dark, Jekyll and Hyde. I don't know that I could explain it, but yes, many times it feels uncomfortable and you wish for the storm to pass as quickly as possible. Being harassed by Fe storms can be personally exhausting, even if no one else is aware of what's going on.

lol @ X-men.... I always felt more like Rogue, actually. Don't touch me, absorbing people, dark side, southern twang etc. No short-shorts or Cajuns for me though.

 

[Hopey]

Those INFP's are out there. EJ and IP are pretty different ways of coming at the world. Be careful of your desire for someone to be demonstrative and declare "this is how its gonna be", thats a TOTALLY EJ perspective. IP just kinda hangs out until it finds the right moment to do something, or something about that moment compels something, and then responds based upon the details of that moment. It can be very heart-warming!
Also, I know that for me, when someone EXPECTS something I often get delivery anxiety, whereas if i was relaxed I'd just naturally and spontaneously do something. So learn to gently nudge and direct, but don't force or overdo. We INFP's tend to respond well to gentle nudging, ESPECIALLY when we really like you. Also, be very clear in pointing out your needs, preferably with explanation and examples. Point out how something is helpful for you, point out cases where we succeeded in meeting your needs and why, and do NOT justify something by saying "everyone knows THIS is how it is done" or "society EXPECTS this", we don't like stuff like that! But point out why its important to you, that you appreciate when we put forth that extra effort, and how much it means to you, and you SHOULD have us bait line and sinker. :rolli: We really aim to please/nurture, and by doing those you let us know exactly how to get there, without any of that "societal expectation" stuff we so dislike.

This is the most beautiful and accurate account I have read, according to my own experiences! I am an ENFJ and my best friend, previous room mate is an INFP. We often call each other "soul mate best friends". When we first met (as room mates), I didn't understand why she spent so much time in her room. But gradually, we had valuable moments of silence, giggling at the same jokes on TV that our other roommates didn't understand, rolling our eyes at jokes that our other room mates thought were hilarious. Then we had this moment that I can only describe by this Oscar Wilde quote, "A friendship is born when one person states, 'You too? I thought I was the only one!'"

I can't describe our friendship. It's just so... genuine. Sure, my INFP has her "dropping off the face of the Earth" moments quite often. We have a special connection, though, where I do not take it a bit personally. I can be my ENFJ-self and send her texts, facebook messages, etc just blurting out random things and spontaneously confessing my admiration for her, and she will respond 1/3 of the time, but I never have a doubt in my mind that she values my friendship all the same. She simply isn't extroverted and can't respond unless she has time to develop the perfect response. That 1/3 of the time that she responds is the most genuine, yet random, expression of true value in our friendship and on a deep, emotional level that could never be written "on-demand" or often. And I usually have this glow when I read her messages and feel so truly valued, in a way that no other person can make me feel. This glow and excitement in our friendship lasts so long and is so valuable that I can't possibly want/expect/demand it to happen more often. We are just different. She needs her time alone to collect her thoughts, and it makes her feel loved (not annoyed) when I notice she is missing and send her a couple of messages, or invite her out often. She also knows that I understand her personality and am writing/inviting her because I want to and it is a reflection of my personality, not because I always expect a response or am demanding her attention. She knows that I will not be hurt by a "no" and that she does not need to give an excuse, I am just keeping the door open for whenever she wants to walk through. It's so great--I can be my dorky, overtly affectionate self, and she doesn't feel pressure to be anything but her keenly observant, introverted self, and she can verbalize her feelings with ease and not feel judged about timeliness. It works so wonderfully as a friendship, but I can see how the same situation would not work as a romantic relationship. I love my INTP friend to absolute pieces!!!