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  1. #1
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Default Questions for INFPs about love

    This refers to general love, both romantic and platonic. Answer as many or as few questions as you wish.

    1. Define love in your own words.
    2. What does love feel like for you?
    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    7. What causes you to love someone?
    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

  2. #2
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Great idea for a thread! Here are my answers:


    1. Define love in your own words.
    Love is an emotion beyond human understanding. All I can say is the Love is a cathartic compassion for another human being and comes in all shapes and sizes.

    2. What does love feel like for you?
    Romantic love: I truly don't know yet.
    Family love: A feeling that, even though you may have arguments or rough times, you're always drawn back to your family, through that recognizable sense of compassion for each other.

    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    Before I answer this question, I need to get my head out of the gutter.
    .....
    Okay, now that that's done, I guess I could say, that when I'm romantically in love with somebody, just spending time with them and talking with them is enough.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    It depends on who the person is. If I truly loved the person (which therefore means I would be very comfortable around them) I would be able to express it very easily (e.g. hugs, kisses, long talks, long-lasting embraces, etc.)

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    Romantic love? I don't think I've truly ever been in love with somebody.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    Ehh, if the person is truly the right person, it could take a split second for me to realize that they're the one (Ni is pretty useful that way )

    7. What causes you to love someone?
    When I can feel that they're a caring person, that I can easily talk to about anything, and that I would like to spend time with them in a relationship.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    YES. Many a-times. All I'm going to say is that it blows. It's even worse, when you find out you were just being used.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    I definitely fluctuate, depending on how people are acting towards me, themselves, and others.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    It's pretty easy for me to love someone, considering that I'm an INFP. However, it really does depend on the person's personality. If they have the right personality, I can "love" them in a heartbeat, others it takes a while.

  3. #3
    THREADKILLER Prototype's Avatar
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    1. Love; A practice that should only expressed after one fully understands its consequences.

    10. No, I believe everyone deserves love in their lives.
    ... They say that knowledge is free, and to truly acquire wisdom always comes with a price... Well then,... That will be $10, please!

  4. #4
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.

    Love is a feeling you get when you really, really like someone. Like, everything clicks with them. You feel that they could complete you as a person. It's totally insane, you have insane feelings and passion toward the person you love.

    2. What does love feel like for you?

    *removes mind from gutter*

    It's exciting and scary at the same time. But all of the feelings lead to my wanting to be with the person.

    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?

    Receive it eh? I'd say just spend a lot of time with them and to know that they care, I don't want anything overdone or anything like that. I like to keep it simple. Just knowing someone cares is good enough for me when it comes to receiving it.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    I show my love by "letting someone in" completely you could say. Also by showing interest in totally knowing them as a person you could say. I'm a weird mix of effusive and reserved, I'll be totally calm with a quiet intensity toward the person one moment and the next I'll be completely effusive and insane, all depending on how I feel.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?

    As for romantic love "true" love has never happened for me I don't think, but I've experienced things very, very close to love, but it was never quite there.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

    It's totally subjective. Depends on how hard I fall for them and how fast I fall for them.

    7. What causes you to love someone?

    When I feel "safe" with them, when we both have a good amount of interest in each other, when we have insane chemistry, the basics?

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

    No I haven't.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctate between love and hate?

    My feelings toward people don't change unless they have a reason to. And this doesn't mean I just decide one day that I hate them... they have to actually present a reason for me to like or dislike them.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

    I'm open. I want to find true love, so why should I be guarded? I don't want to complicate things too much.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #5
    Senior Member Coeur's Avatar
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    Hooray, responses!
    Now, to answer my own questions.

    1. Define love in your own words.
    Love is composed of sacrificial actions that demonstrate caring for the other person. [I sound like a dictionary. XD] It can be an emotion, but it is something that lasts when the feelings fade. It implies good will and commitment. It is strongest when shares and has no real limits.
    2. What does love feel like for you?
    I see it in my head, not my heart. It's I can visualize a deep pool of overpowering affection. I don't neccessary delve into that pool, but I know for a fact that those emotions are there when I scratch the surface. They're very overpowering if I choose to dive in.
    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    Hm... anything honest is fine with me. I love hugs and compliments. My love language is quality time, which means I love it when people spend time with me and listen to my crazy ideas. I feel very special when people want to be with me and make efforts to do so.
    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    I usually have an easy time expressing it if I know the other person likes recieving it and won't reject me. I usually match the other person's level and method of affection.
    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    A small handful, but the number is growing. It's getting easier for me to love people.
    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    Years.
    7. What causes you to love someone?
    I am not entirely sure. It seems like they need to be a source of intellectual amusement in some way. They need to entertain me in a way that I cannot entertain myself. Vulnerability and brokenness draws me to people too, though this isn't a good thing.
    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    Yes. It hurts, but I am willing to wait. Love is cheap when it isn't shared. The other person's happiness comes first.
    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    It can fluctate quite a bit because I react strongly to things. If you do something nice, I'll remember every other nice thing you've ever done, and this intensifies the emotion. The same goes for negative emotion.
    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    It's getting easier and easier. I don't wall myself off, so to speak, but I restrain myself in romantic relationships. I'm not going to sacrifice myself for a temporary relationship. When I care, I care deeply, and so I take precautions to protect myself.

  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.
    A profound, mostly unselfish emotion founded on respect, admiration, affection, connection, and devotion.

    2. What does love feel like for you?
    Romantic love is like a mysterious feeling in the pit of the stomach. Okay, I admit, I've really only been infatuated/mildly obsessed with people, not in love. For my family and friends, it's a feeling of security and a deep connection that time and circumstance doesn't wear down.

    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    I'll take what I can get

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    It can be very difficult for me to express love and affection. Even with my own family I resort to this ornery "aw shucks" attitude when they express their familial love for me. I'm getting better at it with age though. I'm much more huggy than I've ever been and more vocal about my positive feelings. I like the mushy gushy stuff, but I feel so awkward engaging in it. My ultimate show of love is unyielding loyalty and emotional support. The people I love can always count on me to have their back and to be a shoulder to cry on.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    I'd say less than 10. Family and a few friends.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    A long time usually, as in years. It's unusual for me to form a lasting bond quickly. That said, it can greatly depend on the individual.

    7. What causes you to love someone?
    A strong emotional/mental connection. Ties that have been built and strengthened over time. Respect and security are huge for me also. I need to reach the point where I am comfortable and have shared my inner self, which is my true self.


    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    Well, I've experienced unrequited infatuation. At least I think it was unrequited. I never made my feelings known in any of the cases, as ultimately there were some large obstacles preventing any romantic relationship from developing, regardless of anyone's feelings. I tend to be a little too pragmatic & safe when it comes to romantic love. I need to learn how to shout it from the rooftops :P


    9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?
    My love is very consistent. My "like" for people can fluctuate, which is pretty normal I think. I sometimes over idealize people, so I can feel let down easily. There is a line of no return that can be crossed, and some have crossed it. I find it near impossible to ever feel the same for them again, but it takes a lot for someone to damage the relationship beyond repair.


    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

    I am very guarded because when I feel, it's deeply and mostly permanent, which leaves me vulnerable. It is not difficult for me to love once I get there, but developing the feelings take some real cultivation and a willingness in me that is not easy to inspire.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #7
    Junior Member Ambrosia's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.
    It's like gravity, a force that draws people together.

    2. What does love feel like for you?
    In our universe, objects never really touch one another, there is always a tiny bit of space between them, but we still can feel them... I think that's what love is like, two people never really touch, but, in a way, I think that just makes it even more romantic.

    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    Silent expressions of love... Subtle things that just stir up the affirmation in myself...

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    I don't think many people would pick up on the way I express affection immediately... Some people have told me that I'm cold. (I was on the verge of tears when they said that.)

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    Honestly... I think I'll spend my whole life wondering.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    Hard to say... I usually know very quickly when I have any potential relationship with someone. But my feelings may not present themselves immediately.

    7. What causes you to love someone?
    I suppose it's all about timing, it's not so much about finding the right person, but when you find them.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    As a gay male, I've been attracted to straight men who obviously don't return such feelings. Not only is it heartbreaking, but it is scary at times, too. It feels like it would be hard enough for someone as introverted as me to find someone, it can be hard for anyone, but I feel these things just makes it far more difficult. The odds don't seem to be in my favor.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    I have a hard time getting angry at people... At least, expressing it. I'm probably more fluctuant than I lead people to believe. But I don't think it's fluctuates to levels that wreaks havoc on my relationships with people.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    I'm naturally very reserved, but I have resorted to sabotage just to get away from someone.

  8. #8
    AKA Nunki Polaris's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.

    To love someone is to feel their joy, to suffer their pain, and to take pleasure in their sheer existence.

    2. What does love feel like for you?

    Concern for the person's welfare, since mine depends on theirs. A desire to be valued by that person, just as I value them. A need to bring them pleasure and to receive it in turn. A feeling of kinship, brotherly and intimate. In the case of romance, all of those things, plus a total absorption in that person combined with a deep longing that is at once euphoric and painful.

    3. How do you prefer to receive love?

    Any act of love is perfect so long as it doesn't hurt me in some way.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    There are many ways that I show love for someone. They all boil down to attempts at bringing the person happiness and trying to heal or prevent their pain. Because of my extreme self-consciousness, it's difficult for me to do that for people I bear only a slight affection. In the case of someone I deeply love, the strength of my affection brings me equal strength to show it (providing we're on good terms with each other).

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?

    There's only one person I love very much.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

    Not very long. It's entirely possible for me to fall in love on a whim.

    7. What causes you to love someone?

    Looking at someone and seeing something extraordinary in all the right ways: beautiful, original, and noble. Seeing pleasant possibilities with this person, most importantly companionship. Feeling compelled to reach out to them for some reason, perhaps because they have a wound I want to heal or any number of other things.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

    I would say I have, although I can't be certain. My feelings in that type of situation are a mix of longing and obsession. The whole situation becomes something I have to bring to a resolution and clear out of my system. Before I do that, it's impossible to function properly.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?

    My feelings toward people are pretty consistent. They change gradually rather than suddenly.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

    I'm of two minds about this. In one way I feel detached from people as if I don't belong among them and can't truly share their concerns. In another way I see people as works of art that it's very easy to become entranced by and wound up in. Yes, I am guarded, and this explains the feeling of distance I often labor under.
    [ Ni > Ti > Fe > Fi > Ne > Te > Si > Se ][ 4w5 sp/sx ][ RLOAI ][ IEI-Ni ]

  9. #9
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    1. Define love in your own words. I have a hard time trying to define love, but to me, love is a sense of wanting the best for another person, being "on their team," and being willing to do anything I can to help them, and often includes fond feelings toward that person. Romantic love would also include respect, admiration, enjoying time spent with another person, sexual attraction, and appreciated differences.

    2. What does love feel like for you?

    Caring deeply about the welfare of another person, and desiring to help however possible. Wanting, in most cases, to put someone's needs at the top of my priority list. Wanting to spend time with the person. Admiring and focusing on their good qualities.

    3. How do you prefer to receive love?

    I prefer to be told I'm loved, and told what people enjoy or admire about me, whether in written or spoken words. (Though they must be sincere in order for me to feel loved.)

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    I don't usually hesitate to compliment people genuinely or try to encourage them, unless I think they'll assume I have ulterior motives. I'm not reserved about showing love -- I'm only reserved about showing personal aspects of myself. When it comes to romantic love, I have always been very reserved until I completely trust someone, and then after that point it's never been hard for me to express love.

    I show love mostly in words and physical affection. Also, in giving up my own needs/desires for somebody else's at certain times.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?

    In terms of a non-romantic love, I believe I truly love a lot of people, too many to count up in a list off the top of my head.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

    Not long at all, though I separate love and respect, and it takes me a long while to earn respect for someone. If I define love as wanting the best for another person and being willing to do anything to help them get there, I "love" people, even new acquaintances, as a default mode and have had to learn to shut that off sometimes.

    7. What causes you to love someone?

    Seeing their good qualities, even the good qualities that are buried in a lot of crap.

    Romantically speaking, respect and admiration, as well as enjoying the exploration of life with the other person and feeling safe with him.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it. I thought I was going to go out of my mind. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't function until I let it go and got busy with other things.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate? I only fluctuated between love and hate once, when I was involved with a very unstable and emotionally unhealthy person. Otherwise, I tend to be very stable toward loving. Even when I've been angry/hurt, or had to cut off contact with people, my feelings of love did not turn to feelings of hate.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open? It is not at all difficult for me to love people, and I freely express these thoughts and feelings of love. I don't tend to hold back for fear of being hurt. However, it is rare that I make myself vulnerable to others by letting them in on my deeper personal thoughts and feelings, such as dreams for the future, or insecurities. It's much harder for me to accept love than to give it.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  10. #10
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.
    Describing the emotion of love... thats difficult. I would say that pure love is the emotion I feel deep down for somebody when I realize I would do anything for them, including giving up my own life if need be.

    2. What does love feel like for you?
    Devotion! The desire to assist the well being and feelings of those that I love.

    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    It is nice to receive love on the same level of devotion that I give it... but that seems pretty rare . I prefer to be constantly reminded by others abou ttheir love and caring for me . Words are enough but actions are always worth more.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    This depends entirely upon the person. With people that I consider my best friends, Im rather effusive and extremely (almost annoyingly :P) loyal. It takes time for me to work to that point though and it depends on the trust I have in the person.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    Not including members of my family, 4.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    It can happen in a split second but it typically doesn't. In regards to my four they have been those that I have really taken the time to get to know and understand.

    7. What causes you to love someone?
    I have no idea! It just clicks. I don't understand why I come to love somebody most of the time. It just happens.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    Absolutely I believe that to be the reason I'm guarded around new people and take time to trust others.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    Not really, I don't think I really hate anybody to be honest. When it comes to somebody I love its very consistant.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    I'm very guarded with new people I don't want to throw my love around, I only show it to those I know will appreciate it. This is definitely in relation to question 8.
    Last edited by r0wo1; 08-14-2009 at 11:43 AM.
    r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...

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