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  1. #11
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.
    "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, pg. 81 ---The key word is 'will' and don't get hung up on 'spiritual' - his implications here are for the growth of the part of the human that is understood through psychology.

    2. What does love feel like for you?
    home, belonging, connection, mutual respect and admiration, constancy, loyalty, trust

    3. How do you prefer to receive love?
    Romantically? Quality time and physical touch
    Other? However the other person is able to give it that isn't abusive.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    With someone I care for and know fairly well it is easy - easy to give hugs, to say 'I love you.' to put out the effort to do the things I know will please them. I can be effusive if I know that is what the other person needs - but effusive is too strong a word for my normal mode of operation. Being willing to listen.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    Romantically? 1 and he's dead.
    As family/friend? There are many I care deeply for.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone? It can take time or only a moment - there are too many variables for it to be otherwise.

    7. What causes you to love someone? I don't always know until I feel some of what is listed in #2.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    Romantically? Only in my head - that INFP tendency to idolize someone without ever knowing them or speaking to them, thereby creating a totally fictional person - a 'what if' world.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?
    My feelings fluctuate all the time - not necessarily between love and hate. My definition of love implies a level of choice - I choose to love others even when there are times my feelings are hurt by them. I love(d) my husband even when I was angry at him. This definition also implies a difference between love and like. I can love someone but not necessarily like them

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    I find it relatively easy to love others, but I work to guard myself for I cannot do or be everything. I find I cannot invest the time and effort required of a good relationship with more than one person at a time mate-wise.

  2. #12
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.

    When you're willing to put someone else's needs above your own.

    2. What does love feel like for you?

    Romantic love is incredibly overwhelming and I find difficult to harness.

    3. How do you prefer to receive love?

    I honestly like guys who are very direct and all encompassing in their love. I enjoy being protected and taken care of in almost an aggressive sense. I don't like to second guess someone's feelings. I want to be told often and shown in concrete ways that someone cares for me.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    I have no problem expressing love and it is truly an art form for me. If I love someone they will have never been shown such kindness, selflessness and romance before in their life most likely. I can definitely be shy at times, but I will write you poems, surprise you with gifts and feel any pain you feel with you.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?

    My family and the friends who I can consistently rely on.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

    Not very long. If you pass my tests, meet my non-negotiables, and open your heart to me in only a matter of weeks I may be entirely yours.

    7. What causes you to love someone?

    Once someone meets my compatibility needs, emotional depth/intensity and thoughtfulness lures me in incredibly well.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

    Probably the worst feeling in the entire world. I can become quite a martyr to unreturned feelings. I find it very difficult to be logical and pull myself together when I've given someone my heart. I really lose all sense of pride.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

    I can fluctuate within an hour in my feelings towards someone. I am quite moody. Thank god I keep most of those fluctuations to myself otherwise people would believe I am a sociopath.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

    I guard myself as much as I can, but I'm a sucker for romance and if someone strongly and consistently pursues me I can give in quite early before truly warranted unfortunately. Love is a very turbulent thing for me. I would say I find it difficult in the sense that it is such a powerful and overwhelming feeling. It takes a long time before I can feel secure in love.

  3. #13
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    Define love in your own words. unconditional... reverence? empathy? acceptance? -i can't really think of any concise answer that would do it justice. it has to do with admiration, respect, desire, empathy, sharing, and trust. to love someone is to become entwined with them and their experiences, to be open to share yours with them, and to willingly suffer the downs when you aren't enjoying the ups together.

    What does love feel like for you?
    intense, bittersweet, vulnerable, powerful, connecting, curious, warm, disorienting, irrational, fated, centered, silly, serious, bashful, anabashed, sly, perfect, delirious.. it's kind of a paradoxical thing for me and that's just the way i like it.

    How do you prefer to receive love?

    as long as it's earnest, i'm not picky.

    How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    i like to demonstrate my love with gestures; by making someone laugh really hard, by giving little gifts, or just by being present when someone needs me. my consistent side comes out where love is concerned.

    i am reserved in general.. but i warm up a lot to those i really feel connected with. expressing love can sometimes be intimidating, so i am somewhat guarded..but i wouldn't say it's particularly difficult once i get rolling. i'm a sap.

    How many people do you TRULY love? i can count 'em on my hands..

    How long does it take for you to truly love someone? duration quota unknown.

    What causes you to love someone? so many variables here. come back to me on this one..

    Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it. yes, and 'indifferent'. life goes on.

    Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

    i can sometimes trick myself into thinking i hate someone if i am upset enough in a situation, but that lasts even less time than it probably took to type my responses to these questions.

    essentially, if i truly love someone that doesn't ever change.

    Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

    yes and no. it's fairly easy to feel love (perhaps too easy if that's possible), but not always so easy to express it. i'd say i am guarded at first but open up quickly if there is mutual love.

  4. #14
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    1. Define love in your own words.
    It's an intangible force. It's created through a deep bond with someone. It's unconditional. It's something that you can't exactly decide on...it just is, whether you like it or not. It is both horrible and insanely wonderful at the same time.

    2. What does love feel like for you?
    (Read #1's answer).

    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    Actions...someone doing everything they can to make sure we don't lose eachother. Someone placing great importance on our love...whether that be taking the time for it, or just assigning meaning to all the little things between us. To know the other person would never give up on our love.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    When needed...great acts of love. Saving the connection. If their belief in it is starting to fade, then I will try to remind them, by taking a huge risk being vulnerable...with words usually. But if it's when things are okay, then I can show it more calmly and happily. But always intensely devoted at the same time. It's a balance...either can appear depending on the circumstances.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    Truly, unconditional, would die for? Two.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    It depends on the circumstances. One person I knew since I was a young kid, and so it took more years because we weren't exactly closecloseclose. It was the longevity of knowing eachother that created the awareness of love. Another person, I only had to know them for 8 months or maybe even less to know I loved them.

    7. What causes you to love someone?
    I see myself in another person...I see who I am in my soul, in them...they represent a kind of truth...I have this otherworldly bond with them. Maybe it's through our take on humor, or maybe it's our take on the spirituality of the world, or maybe it's just our take on love. And when I realize, the worst thing they could ever do, I would still care for them anyway.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    Oh man, yes. The first time, we never actually got to be together. There was a massive amount of pain in the realization of never getting to know what we'd be like together. It felt like another string of the future was cut off from me. The other time, I actually had gotten to be with them for 8 months or so. It was not unrequited for that amount of time, not at all. All of the sudden though, it was as if history was erased and the only present I was left with was that my love was unrequited. There's even more despair in love that you can't have, when you already know what it's like to have - you know that it is that good, you can't trick your mind into saying, "oh, it wouldn't have been that great anyway," you can't lie to yourself because your memory has the proof of how good what you're missing is. But, both kinds of love unrequited are awful and painful.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    They are mostly very consistant, and unconditional. But, at the same time, the saying "there's a thin line between love and hate" is very true. So...yes, I always love them the same, but sometimes there can be another layer or dimension of hate added to my feelings for that person, depending on the circumstances. But it's not like that "hate" layer ever takes away the love layer, not at all.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    It depends. One person was very easy to love, instantly, and I didn't guard myself, nor had any reason to guard. It's not like I'm on the surface and obvious about it, but I'm of course aware that I love the person and don't go the denial route. The other person, I did go the denial route for a long time. I think the whole "hate is easier than love" comes into play sometimes. I had such strong feelings for this person that I chose to hate them instead of admit that I loved them...because if I admitted that, then I knew there'd be no going back, you know, 'once the floodgates have opened, you can never close them,'.
    Likes DulcetRefrain liked this post

  5. #15
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    EDITED: If I bumped this, I am sorry. I think I may have found this through the "Similar Threads" on the bottom of the page.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    Easy to idealize, difficult to express. Effusive interior, reserved exterior.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    Consistant.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    I guard myself. But when I first open up, I won't let go. I'm very attached. And I linger.

  6. #16
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    1. Define love in your own words.
    Love is the feeling that you get when you are willing to give up everything for that person. You want to completely help them. If only if they let you...

    2. What does love feel like for you?
    I usually have several types of love. Love for that one special SO, and love for other friends/humankind. Love makes you feel happy, it makes you want to be around them, and tell your deepest fears to them. I myself want it so bad, and I have in a sense, so I shouldn't complain.

    3. How do you prefer to recieve love?
    Eeeee... I don't know. I guess I would love to have somebody talk to me, instead of me having to talk to them. (I'm male) I want to feel a closeness with someone whether its from them or from myself, it feels the same.

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?
    It's hard to explain how I show love. Sometimes, during big emotional problems, I love to express my love to "her". But during times of happiness, I actually find it harder and find that I am more susceptible to teasing others, etc. So it's hard to express love in these circumstances. I never say it straight out loud, I always write it down, and my INFJ friend (female) seems to accept it

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?
    I feel love for several, but I can only TRULY love one person at a time. Right now, it's my INFJ friend, so yeah.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?
    This is what seems to happen. First, I have to get to know them over a LONG period of time, though not necessarily a lot of time "together", and then I need to have extreme disconnection with my former "true love". Because of the disconnection, I am able to move on and look forward. If I try to look for a new love, but I still often see my former, than it is nearly impossible to develop that true love.

    7. What causes you to love someone?
    I have to spend a reasonable amount of seeing them, even if we rarely talk. Other than that it doesn't matter. If they have interests and passions, I believe that is a big deal-maker. Usually after seeing how passionate about a hobby, etc. and how nice they are, I will fall in love with them.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.
    My entire life, meaning I was the one unrequiting loving. None of my people I like like me back, so I feel it is very good, and with my current INFJ friend, it seems that even though she does not like me back, I still receive some friendship love with her, and I think that is enough. I don't know... what I would like is at the start some unrequited love from my side, followed by her eventually developing feelings for me... thats what i think.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistant, or do you fluctate between love and hate?
    They are NOT always consistent. I always in the back of my mind, have the knowledge, "Yes, I love her", but when something happens, and I am weak and impatient, I find myself starting to hate (mostly, just the situation) and then I go through an emotional turmoil thing, (which I actually LOVE) so much better than the "normality" of some relationships I see.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?
    I find it easy to love people. If they will accept it, I would give my love to everyone. But it needs to be deep, if it's going to go anywhere. I won't share my love extravertedly or anything, but if she is being open as well, I will eventually tell her how much she means to me.

  7. #17
    wallflowe r🥀 DulcetRefrain's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.

    Love is a feeling, surpassing any words or definitions I could muster. It's the most amazing, profound, painful, misunderstood feeling we experience.

    2. What does love feel like for you?

    Like my heart is burning and quietly fluttering inside my chest

    3. How do you prefer to receive love?

    Sincerely, that's what matters most to me. It helps to let me know why you love me or what you love about me, once I have that reassurance it's easier to accept it's not ridiculous for them to like me. :') The best way for me to receive love is showing me earnestly through words & actions essentially. And if you're a bit of a romantic that doesn't hurt

    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    I'm both. Reserved first and foremost though. I'm so stupidly shy, I hold myself back a lot...inside I'm effusive. Sometimes I just wanna hug and take care of the ones I love in every way possible. Once you get past the reserved barrier and the feelings are mutual, I will start to show my affection with more intensity.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?

    Romantically, none....But I love my friends dearly <3 oh & family too I guess

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

    Depends on the person, but typically it will take some time for me to truly love someone, romantically that is. I get butterflies easily if I feel an attachment to you but I don't consider that love.

    7. What causes you to love someone?

    A feeling of safeness and closeness when I'm with them. Their sense of humor, their passions, etc. And I appreciate someone who's expressive. I'm withdrawn enough on my own so a person who is expressive definitely helps me become confident in expressing my own love without restraint. I'm also weird in that I fall in love with little quirks, or the way someone looks when they're watching tv, that's subjective depending on the person though.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

    I don't think I've ever been in love before, so I'll say no

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

    Consistent, though sometimes I get sensitive/hurt if they start spending way less time with me in favor of someone else.

    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

    I wouldn't say it's difficult, I'm very willing to love others and I tend to find something I like in a person even if I don't like them. I'm definitely guarded, but it doesn't take too long for me to open up if I feel I can trust you.
    I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free...

    Johari
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  8. #18
    Nyarlathotep ESFJ's Avatar
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    1. Define love in your own words.

    The only way the temporal can touch the eternal.

    2. What does love feel like for you?

    Pain and relief at the same time. So, a self-contained whole. Problem and solution.

    3. How do you prefer to receive love?

    Touch.


    4. How do you show your love? Is expressing it easy or difficult? Are you effusive or reserved?

    Physical affection. I'm physically expressive and vocally very reserved.

    5. How many people do you TRULY love?

    Few.

    6. How long does it take for you to truly love someone?

    It happens immediately. Amidst denial at that.

    7. What causes you to love someone?

    It's difficult to explain.

    8. Have you experienced unrequited love? If so, describe your feelings about it.

    Yes. Conflicted possessiveness and intense self-hatred.

    9. Are your feelings towards people consistent, or do you fluctuate between love and hate?

    I feel both for a person simultaneously.


    10. Is it difficult for you to love people? Do you guard yourself, or are you open?

    Yes, yes, and no.
    In that which is night to all things, therein the self-subjugated remains awake; but where all else is awake, that is night for the knower of the self.

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