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  1. #11
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZiL View Post
    - Have any of you created a tough outer shell to avoid vulnerability that runs almost in direct opposite to your natural personality?
    Yes. And it's a really weird thing for me. I don't think that outer shell came necessarily to avoid vulnerability per se. I'm an extrovert and I use the outer world to create a constant dialogue with my self.

    Playing devil's advocate is almost intrinsic to me. And so is joking and brainstorming. As an example, I could see myself using the phrase "bros before hoes" in a variety of scenarios. I'd probably do it to piss off some girl (just to tease, not to attack) I was having a conversation with. I'd explain why I "thought" so... All the while...deep within, I don't agree with that phrase one bit. But, wait....maybe I do just a little bit in some cases.... :confused: I'll question myself all the time...my beliefs...my values..."the truth"...I'll see both sides of the equation. I refrain from dealing in absolutes. In good P fashion...it's all relative and dependent on context.

    Some people get the idea that I'm this coldish, rock-solid, ultra logical/analytical snarky guy. I'm a sensitive guy in touch with his feelings. So which version is true? I think we all cultivate personas to a certain degree but that they don't always come out as forced. I'm comfortable being jerkish sometimes, when all I want is hippie utopia It's an exaggeration...it's sarcasm...it's teasing...it's being ambiguous...*sigh*...it's complex.

    But it's not due to some trauma. Even though, yes I've encountered situations when I was younger were being instinctually loving and caring didn't quite work out for me. I remember this episode... wanting to punch this other kid in the face, and having every reason for doing so (also he was trying to kick my ass himself and he had started it) but couldn't because I didn't want to hurt him. I remember being really angry at myself too for not being able to do it like all the other kids. I mean I had the skill and physique to pull it off...I just cared for my enemy too much I guess.

    I think it's normal for an ENFP male to adapt to the real world as he begins to understand not everyone thinks like he does. But we are what we do...so it's not just some big lie. We learn from the outer world and we evolve.

    Quote Originally Posted by ZiL View Post
    What does it take to get those barriers down?
    Someone that loves me is someone that makes me feel comfortable being myself. Being myself is comprised of all my different ways though.

    As far as overconfidence goes...I think confidence is one of those traits that are better improved by faking it in the initial stages. I think most people can agree with that. So maybe the macho attitude helps him somewhat. What is important is that he feels accepted and gets that you get that he cares for you regardless.

  2. #12
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    ^Funny. I posted a response to a thread not too long ago saying essentially this same thing. And you denied it. Even began a debate with me about it. Now you agree?

  3. #13
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    ^Funny. I posted a response to a thread not too long ago saying essentially this same thing. And you denied it. Even began a debate with me about it. Now you agree?
    What exactly do you mean? What same thing? If you are gonna accuse me of something, better make it pretty darn specific

  4. #14
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    What exactly do you mean? What same thing? If you are gonna accuse me of something, better make it pretty darn specific
    Please review this thread: ENFP Males.

    Conflicted much?

  5. #15
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Please review this thread: ENFP Males.

    Conflicted much?
    How courteous of you to explain it to me and not just make me look for the answer myself. :P

    I don't see where I contradicted myself. Nothing inherent to our nature, as ENFP males, that hinders showing sensitivity. The outer world might prove a barrier sometimes but it depends on the individual what his actions/words will be. As an example, I showed my sensitivity by not punching the guy. The outer world was surprised at me. I felt bad, because part of me felt justified. That didn't change what happened though.


    Could you please, for a change, start to be more direct if you have something to say? What are you saying exactly?

  6. #16
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    How courteous of you to explain it to me and not just make me look for the answer myself. :P

    I don't see where I contradicted myself. Nothing inherent to our nature, as ENFP males, that hinders showing sensitivity. The outer world might prove a barrier sometimes but it depends on the individual what his actions/words will be. As an example, I showed my sensitivity by not punching the guy. The outer world was surprised at me. I felt bad, because part of me felt justified. That didn't change what happened though.


    Could you please, for a change, start to be more direct if you have something to say? What are you saying exactly?
    Ha, me not direct. Hilarious.

    But no one said it was inherent in their nature.

    And here's the issue: you're speaking out of both sides of your mouth.

    In that thread, I said:

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I think many NF males are not apt to show the sensitivity inherent in the NF temperament [...]
    You disagreed. Vehemently.

    The OP said:

    Quote Originally Posted by ZiL View Post
    - Have any of you created a tough outer shell to avoid vulnerability that runs almost in direct opposite to your natural personality? [...] I feel like he's a sensitive person who has picked up the habit of burying his sensitivity deep behind these other personas.
    And you agreed and said you do.

    So, have you misunderstood either of us? Or have you been playing devil's advocate so much that you no longer remember what you actually believe in?

  7. #17
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Ha, me not direct. Hilarious.
    Indeed....

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    But no one said it was inherent in their nature.

    And here's the issue: you're speaking out of both sides of your mouth.

    In that thread, I said:



    You disagreed. Vehemently.

    The OP said:


    And you agreed and said you do.

    So, have you misunderstood either of us? Or have you been playing devil's advocate so much that you no longer remember what you actually believe in?
    I answered exactly what I quoted and nothing more (i.e. I did not agree to "I feel like he's a sensitive person who has picked up the habit of burying his sensitivity deep behind these other personas."). I may have created a tough outer shell to avoid vulnerability that runs almost in direct opposite to my natural personality to a certain degree. I think I am apt to show sensitivity and other ENFPs too. We just do it in our own way.

    Maybe you are inferring certain things from what I wrote. Maybe your definition of what apt means, is different from mine. How many ENFP males do you know, that have trouble showing sensitivity with someone they really like?

  8. #18
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    ...
    Okay. I'll go with misunderstood ftw.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Okay. I'll go with misunderstood ftw.
    Magnanimous as always.

  10. #20
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Magnanimous as always.
    *Takes a bow*

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