I'm sitting here thinking over my relationship with my ex husband, and the passion I felt sort of changed and took new shapes. At first of course (like most couples) I just couldn't get enough of him and was all over him all the time in the beginning. The excitement and the burst of new feelings.
My passion for him felt like it changed after awhile though, when I knew I really loved him and loved him like family. I had the passion and it went even deeper, but I wasn't so HIGH on it, if that makes sense. I felt that loyalty and devotion, and I loved getting the chances to hear him tell stories of his experiences, what he wanted, where he wanted to go, all of it and more. I felt more passion for him then than I did at the beginning, it just wasn't so all-consuming. It almost felt like there was this massive ball of passionate energy that plonked itself down within me at the beginning, and then after awhile that big ball spread out and really rooted those particles all through me.
In my case though, I think my ex associated love WITH that first flush of fierce passion, and when that faded down I think he felt disappointed. I guess for me I never expected that first flush to remain the constant, and I still don't. I preferred the passion I felt later on, after I felt we'd really been through some shit together and bonded, when I felt we had a real partnership and friendship. I don't think he felt that bond though, I am not sure now how his processes worked as much as I tried to understand his side (I think he was ISTJ but not certain).
I think passion IS so subjective, and I don't think one way of feeling it is better than another, you know? I really wished my ex could have communicated better so I could understand his outlook and how things felt for him. I know people who never get that RUSH and HIGH with their passion and they get this bad rep for being fuddy-duddies or what have you, and it sucks because they're so truly in love and devoted, it's just 'quiet passion'.
Like for me personally, I have never gotten how someone can say "I am SO IN LOVE, I LOVE this person more than I've ever loved anyone" after only knowing them for a couple of weeks, I can't fathom that personally but I can't disregard it either. Statistics are kind of B.S. to me in that respect, I've seen long marriages that started with long courtships and I've seen long marriages that started with a ceremony a couple of months after they first met. Just because the idea of marrying someone a month after meeting them wigs ME out like a motherfucker doesn't mean it's a mistake, you know? On the same token, never marrying and just having a close bond with someone over the course of a lifetime also makes sense if it suits the parties.
Now that I've written all that, I am not sure if I said anything relevant to this thread (tangents...they grab me and I follow them...) but maybe I did. I'm trying to find a point, but it's not showing up so I'll leave it at that