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  1. #1
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Default Attraction to EPs

    Hola!

    I'm just getting over a divorce, and I'm not at the point of dating yet but I'm at the point I'm THINKING about it. I was with my ex for a little over four years, and I don't know his type but I'm pretty sure it was ISTJ or ISTP.

    We got along on so many levels, I think I was attracted to his quietness, his vast reserves of knowledge, and wit but in the end he was rather an 'emotional vampire'. It was sort of like he couldn't feel for himself so he felt 'through' me, that sort of thing. He was also not assertive, and passed responsibility off on to others (whether it was me or his family/friends) instead of being able to own his own responsibility for himself.

    Not sure if that has anything to do with his type at all, but since I've been getting into all the MBTI stuff, I've had a couple of guys I know do the intake and they've both come back as ESFP.

    I find them very attractive. I have another friend I've known for over ten years who is an ESTP, we never did the romance but I definitely had a thing for him back in the day. Upon thinking about it, over the years I've felt way more attracted to louder, spontaneous, go-getter types but I suppose I've felt like I'd make them nuts with all my intense thinking and need for alone time even though I consider myself an animated and enthusiastic person (especially with new adventures!).Still, in my relationship with my ex who was more like me, I felt dragged down, and felt I had to be the one to make everything 'happen' or I would get blamed when nothing happened, if that makes sense.

    I'm wondering now if someone more like an EP might be a better fit for me? I suppose I'm asking if any of you fellow NFs have relationships with EP types, and wondering how it works for you?

  2. #2
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    *cough cough* ENTP
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  3. #3
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    ENXP and INXJ are textbook MBTI matches. I get along well with INFJs and I think a woman I dated was INFJ. It went along much less dramatically then with the INFPs I have dated. I also get along well with a long-time ISTJ friend. I think there is a complementary grounding with the EP/IJ pairing. One of my old roommates is supposedly ENFP (I refuse to accept it! LOL) and she was super hyper to the point it was annoying for me and other roommates (INFP, another alleged ENFP, and me ENFP - again I can't believe three ENFP women just happened to live together but that's how people scored on the MBT test). But, that ENFP got along great with the new super calm, collected INXJ roommate who had just moved in.

    From observation, I think with an ENXP they are more likely to drive you crazy with their hyperactive Ne and random-ness then they would get "tired" of you.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  4. #4
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Both ENFPs and ENTPs have loads of patience and tend to find the INFJ quirkiness and intensity endearing.

    Sorry about your divorce! I hope it was amicable for both your sakes.

  5. #5
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    hey gloriana!
    ENFP female here who is currently seeing an INFJ, after being married to an ISFP (i was with ISFP for 9 years) and so I can really relate to your post trememdously. I myself got really into myers briggs during the last 2 years of my marriage when i wasn't very happy & was seeking "answers" . . . when i learned about the INFJ it was like an epiphany weird / soulful experience. . . "eureka! - that is the person I have always been looking for . . . now i have a name for this "vision" of my ideal mate . . . how lovely!") . . . so anyways I had a fierce crush on a coworker & was hoping to god that he was NOT an INFJ because I was still married & was aware of just how rare it is to find a male INFJ . . . well he was an INFJ alright . . . and now we are finally seeing each other after I got all my personal poopy sad yuck marriage business & grieving out of the way.

    so my advice to you gloriana - find some ENFPs because they will absolutely be mesmerized by you & you will connect on the oh so important "N" . . .

    and sorry to talk so much about myself but i thought it was relevant somehow / maybe not . . . but yeah . . . ENFP all the way

  6. #6
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    No relationship experience with an EP. I did have a girl come into my store that I'm pretty sure was an ENFP a couple months ago. I had to stay behind the register to hide the fact that I was attracted to her. Nothing sexual about what we were talking about. Hell... we were talking about memory cards. She was just so dang full of life it was amazing. I doubt you'll have the same problem but thought I'd add my two cents (and more)
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  7. #7
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    You might just be going for what is extremely different from what you've had to compensate. ESFPs fit that bill after being with an I.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    I'm typically attracted to EP's because of the exciting, spontaneous, fun loving nature we share.

    As for you being an INFJ, your intense, withdrawn thinking periods followed by sharing these thoughts is who you are. Find someone who wants to listen and is interested in these thoughts. Just a guess but it's probably going to be an N. I know a couple INFJ's and I probably converse better with the two I know than with anyone else of any other type.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  9. #9
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    EP's are attractive, but they'll raid your fridge and liquor cabinet.

    "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.."
    -Oscar Wilde



  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    whyyy? you got somethin good in there? let me look....
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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