• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFP] INFP and softyness

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
I come to just expect moral degeneracy out of the great horde of people and I am pleasantly surprised when someone seems to have a good moral fiber. But in offline life I rarely engage my opinions on this to others, what's the point?

My issue is when people cross my boundaries. Stay on your side of the fence, don't track your filth into my yard...so to speak. Leave me and mine alone, that's fine.

Offline, I won't discuss religion or politics (which most often just seems like an extension of the former) with most people. I don't see the point. Online I assume it's all done lightly and in good fun and therefore it's not imposing myself on others to engage, they can take or leave my opinions as suits them.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I come to just expect moral degeneracy out of the great horde of people and I am pleasantly surprised when someone seems to have a good moral fiber. But in offline life I rarely engage my opinions on this to others, what's the point?

My issue is when people cross my boundaries. Stay on your side of the fence, don't track your filth into my yard...so to speak. Leave me and mine alone, that's fine.

Offline, I won't discuss religion or politics (which most often just seems like an extension of the former) with most people. I don't see the point. Online I assume it's all done lightly and in good fun and therefore it's not imposing myself on others to engage, they can take or leave my opinions as suits them.

Definitely, +1.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I wasn't attacking you. :newwink: But really, do INFPs honestly just sit around and talk about their values? :huh: I never understood the stereotype. The INFPs I've talked to never really openly expressed them unless something came up in a topic of conversation, like religion or something.

Oh, I never thought you were attacking me. I was really just pointing out that ISFPs don't like it when their Fi gets stepped on, and they don't try to claim that it's based on some high ethical value, necessarily. That's all I meant. Nothing personal toward you or I.

I do know what you mean, though. I do openly express my values within intellectual discussions, politics, religion ...I'm not afraid of those topics, especially politics, not religion so much, though, actually.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I do know what you mean, though. I do openly express my values within intellectual discussions, politics, religion ...I'm not afraid of those topics, especially politics, not religion so much, though, actually.

First paragraph- :hug:

Quoted one- Yeah I get you. I'm like that too, those are environments where your views are expected to be respected.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I know an 2 INFPs who's really soft and flaky, I mean they are good people at heart they just always claim that "bad luck" follows them and all that, very self depreciating I don't get the appeal.


I don't see the direct connection between self-deprecation and being weak-willed.... :confused:
Flaky generally means unreliable, and I wouldn't pin that as an INFP trait either. We can be disorganized, but if something is important than we pull though.

INFPs can be very self-critical and our idealism can make us feel letdown in life, but it doesn't make us soft. You know that Nietzsche quote, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Sort of how INFPs work. I'd say that we are actually very resilient.
 

WoodsWoman

New member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
778
MBTI Type
INFP

+1000

You've just never chased an INFP into a stubborn streak... when I was a teen my Dad and I were way too much alike - he was never typed, but I believe he was an INFP also. We didn't fight as such, but the tension in the air as we tried to out-stubborn each other, silently, was a force field of tension!
:yes:

Try to get an INFP to do something they don't want to do, or are very uncomfortable with and they will evaporate. Just disappear. This is another aspect of that stubbornness.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Piss me off, I dares ye!
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
I come to just expect moral degeneracy out of the great horde of people and I am pleasantly surprised when someone seems to have a good moral fiber. But in offline life I rarely engage my opinions on this to others, what's the point?

My issue is when people cross my boundaries. Stay on your side of the fence, don't track your filth into my yard...so to speak. Leave me and mine alone, that's fine.

Offline, I won't discuss religion or politics (which most often just seems like an extension of the former) with most people. I don't see the point. Online I assume it's all done lightly and in good fun and therefore it's not imposing myself on others to engage, they can take or leave my opinions as suits them.

I agree. I really don't care if others think I'm weak or soft because I'm not. Opinions don't bother me. But....

If you arrogantly make assumptions, or are condescending to me, I'll try to reeducate you, and it will be unpleasant.

Most of the INFP's I know need to develop some pride in themselves. Especially the male ones...it can be done.:yes:
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
I agree. I really don't care if others think I'm weak or soft because I'm not. Opinions don't bother me. But....

If you arrogantly make assumptions, or are condescending to me, I'll try to reeducate you, and it will be unpleasant.

Most of the INFP's I know need to develop some pride in themselves. Especially the male ones...it can be done.:yes:


Perhaps with E.C.T. ;)
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
Messages
2,106
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Piss me off or criticize me and you will see strong will at it's finest.
 

GirlFromMars

New member
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Messages
325
MBTI Type
INFP
My impression is that they are one of the more strong-willed types about the things that matter to them, but those things are usually quite internal.

Yep, I'm totally buying this. I CAN be the biggest b!tch and be pretty scary (I think, haha) when something (be it a cause I believe in, or a person...whatever) is stepped on. I can be fierce in those situations, no doubt. I'm definitely not all puppies and rainbows and candyfloss. :laugh: But, in other ways I am a big softie.
 

neptunesnet

man-made
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
1,228
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5&4
Instinctual Variant
sx
I know an 2 INFPs who's really soft and flaky, I mean they are good people at heart they just always claim that "bad luck" follows them and all that, very self depreciating I don't get the appeal.

What are you talking about?
Bad luck does follow us. Or at least me.
It's really difficult to explain this to other people because most people feel they have control over their lives and I most definitely do not.
I've always felt there's a force or a higher being controlling what happens to me and I'm supposed to learn from what life throws at me. That's probably the only reason why I'm so optimistic.
Yeah. Very self-depreciating.

+1 for OrangeAppled earlier
 
Last edited:

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
Look.

If it's something I care about, I will do anything to protect it.

If I have no interest in it, do what you want. Until you infringe on something I care about.


Learning to let go, has been a problem.

I am still carrying a grudge from 20 years ago, as sad as that is.
 

rainoneventide

New member
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
364
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
Look.

If it's something I care about, I will do anything to protect it.

If I have no interest in it, do what you want. Until you infringe on something I care about.


Learning to let go, has been a problem.

I am still carrying a grudge from 20 years ago, as sad as that is.
Yep, exactly this.

It's not that I'm soft--I just don't give a shit.
But when I do you'll know, trust me.
 

Clonester

New member
Joined
Jul 5, 2009
Messages
480
MBTI Type
ENFP
I guess it can be tough because the INFP sees their strong values and will and they know they are far from soft. They are driven perfectionists and tend to be very goal oriented. But the hard part comes from the way the world perceives them- as soft (though I don't really know any INFP's I would consider soft). And when "nice guys finish last" it can be hard.

Though ENFP's and INFP's aren't the same, I can see how some people might mistake my chill nature for being soft. INFP's are pretty chill too. I'm not bothered by things that others are, but because of the perception of others (soft) I've had to learn not to let people walk all over me and to instead stand my ground.
 
Top