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[INFP] INFP and softyness

jixmixfix

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why do INFPS always think they have some kind of problem? I mean they seem the softest of all the types has anyone ever met a strong willed INFP?
 

Thalassa

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I'm extremely strong willed. I mean, seriously, I'm considered the biggest bitch of all of my sisters. "Send marmalade in to yell at them for you!"
 

metaphours

cast shadows
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ehhhhhhh, im pretty soft and i try to avoid conflicts at all costs.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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My impression is that they are one of the more strong-willed types about the things that matter to them, but those things are usually quite internal. I can't think of any INFP on this forum who seems weak-willed at all. Opinions about each type tend to be full of dichotomies.
 

heart

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why do INFPS always think they have some kind of problem? I mean they seem the softest of all the types has anyone ever met a strong willed INFP?

One of the most weak-willed people I know is ISTP. Go figure...
 

heart

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The one I know is. Cheats, loses jobs, always late, babies himself while berating other people when they are down on their luck.
 

Coeur

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why do INFPS always think they have some kind of problem? I mean they seem the softest of all the types has anyone ever met a strong willed INFP?

I'm an only child. So... I can be stubborn. But for the most part I am a big softy. I don't know why, but I'm afraid of coming across as an evil/pushy/loud person. I'm not any of those things, and it doesn't make sense.
 

jixmixfix

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awww he's such an SP at heart ;)

I know an 2 INFPs who's really soft and flaky, I mean they are good people at heart they just always claim that "bad luck" follows them and all that, very self depreciating I don't get the appeal.
 

Thalassa

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I know an 2 INFPs who's really soft and flaky, I mean they are good people at heart they just always claim that "bad luck" follows them and all that, very self depreciating I don't get the appeal.


This is why I initially questioned my type, because INFPs are supposed to be so soft and I can be so scary and abrasive if seriously crossed.

However, upon further reflection, I feel that in some ways I'm much stronger than, say for example, an ISFJ or INTP I know. So maybe the INFP soft stereotype isn't the way to go.
 
Last edited:

Coeur

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This is why I initially questioned my type, because INFPs are supposed to be so soft and I can be so scary and abrasive if seriously crossed.

However, upon further reflection, I feel that in some ways I'm much stronger than, say for example, an ISFJ or INTP I know. So maybe the INFP soft stereotype isn't the way to go.

We're supposed to be abraisive if someone steps on our values.
 

PeaceBaby

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Water is soft but a mighty force when in motion.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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I think there is also an issue of appearances. I'm a borderline type INFX. People who look at the surface tend to underestimate my toughness, and I once had the negative reputation for being "fragile". People who know me well often find I'm one of the toughest people they know. It's about not fearing or hiding vulnerability. I don't equate pain or fear with being helpless. You can experience those things overwhelmingly and still make the right choice and move forward. It's a bit like racing out onto the battlefield sans armor and surviving it.

People who aren't tough, or pretend to be tough, are just the product of their lives and so it doesn't make sense to me to think too much less of it on at least one level.
 

BlackCat

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I know an 2 INFPs who's really soft and flaky, I mean they are good people at heart they just always claim that "bad luck" follows them and all that, very self depreciating I don't get the appeal.
why do INFPS always think they have some kind of problem? I mean they seem the softest of all the types has anyone ever met a strong willed INFP?

I can't relate to this at all. I'm a very strong willed person, and I wish I could tell you why a lot of INFPs have a "problem". Just avoid them until they get past them.

We're supposed to be abraisive if someone steps on our values.

Why are they even called values? My "values" don't really get expressed, and I honestly don't have many "values" that I openly express to people. If people step on my Fi then yes, I get abrasive. We should just call it that imo.
 

Thalassa

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Why are they even called values? My "values" don't really get expressed, and I honestly don't have many "values" that I openly express to people. If people step on my Fi then yes, I get abrasive. We should just call it that imo.

That could also be an ISFP trait. Getting mad for Fi getting stepped on without openly expressed "values." I'm just saying.
 

BlackCat

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That could also be an ISFP trait. Getting mad for Fi getting stepped on without openly expressed "values." I'm just saying.

I wasn't attacking you. :newwink: But really, do INFPs honestly just sit around and talk about their values? :huh: I never understood the stereotype. The INFPs I've talked to never really openly expressed them unless something came up in a topic of conversation, like religion or something.
 
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