[ENFJ] Female ENFJS: Describe your ideal guy

[Domino]

Do you mean Edward Scissorhands? If so, I want in.

Werd.

 

[Afkan]

I know, who would have thought? I clicked on the link expecting to just see a barrage of posts sporting Edward's name... with maybe a Mr. Darcy here and there...

Still lost.... ?!?!?! Please, do advise.

 

[chris1207]

ENFJ women are crazy. Far crazier than ENFJ guys. Basically, ENFJ's have way too many emotions and while you'd think that that would benefit the women in acting out who they really are, it's really more of an enabler of their negative traits because while ENFJ women are, at their best, lovely and full of wonderful idiosyncracies, they can be, at their worst, psychotic and delusional. Society basically says that their entitled to all of the delusional, feelings they want and they don't have to change for anyone. At the same time, they really go against the grain with their N nature. I gotta wonder if they ever become balanced individuals.

I feel sorry for the OP. All sorts of talk about being assertive and influential as being attractive traits in a guy. I've read many a profile and I've never seen that in the INFP ones...

 

[SciVo]

Well, we don't advertise our hidden kinky side, but I've read that it's an acceptable second-best to actually being a man's man alpha manly-male top dog.

 

[Afkan]

ENFJ women are crazy. Far crazier than ENFJ guys. Basically, ENFJ's have way too many emotions and while you'd think that that would benefit the women in acting out who they really are, it's really more of an enabler of their negative traits because while ENFJ women are, at their best, lovely and full of wonderful idiosyncracies, they can be, at their worst, psychotic and delusional. Society basically says that their entitled to all of the delusional, feelings they want and they don't have to change for anyone. At the same time, they really go against the grain with their N nature. I gotta wonder if they ever become balanced individuals. I, on the other hand, am living proof that an ENFJ guy can mount his steed and ride back from the depths of Hades to reclaim his position as a valued individual amongst the living.

I feel sorry for the OP. All sorts of talk about being assertive and influential as being attractive traits in a guy. I've read many a profile and I've never seen that in the INFP ones...

Am I just crazy, or do I sense a feeling of competitiveness in you toward Female ENFJs, Chris? Oh wait...you already covered that. I am crazy. That explains it. NM. Actually, I can think of a better word than competitive...

 

[Afkan]

Well, we don't advertise our hidden kinky side, but I've read that it's an acceptable second-best to actually being a man's man alpha manly-male top dog.

Good point. I would much rather be with a sensitive guy than an alpha male...to me, thats far superior, not just an acceptable second-best!

 

[chris1207]

Am I just crazy, or do I sense a feeling of competitiveness in you toward Female ENFJs, Chris? Oh wait...you already covered that. I am crazy. That explains it. NM. Actually, I can think of a better word than competitive...

?

I think I just get irritated by the way that some conduct themselves. XXFJ guys tend to hold emotions in due to social stereotypes about how men should behave and the women tend not to. As a result, I really wanted to believe that the women would be all the better for it but not all of them are. Basically, the reality doesn't jive with my vision of how they should be. What they do sometimes reflects just as badly on us as a group, if not worse, than some of the things we male ENFJs do. It's a subset of leaks that I didn't know could spring.

For sake of analogy, I'm like an uneducated country bumpkin, who was never given the opportunity for education, who's irratated at uneducated people in an urban area who were obviously given the opportunity to further themselves and yet pissed it away because they were irrational.

Well, we don't advertise our hidden kinky side, but I've read that it's an acceptable second-best to actually being a man's man alpha manly-male top dog.

I'd rather be an asshole and die alone than be considered a footstool for women.

 

[Domino]

My goodness, Chris. I do believe that gender *does* have a significant effect on type, but we're crazy? Really? To be honest, I think BOTH - male and female - ENFJs have the capacity to do real damage, but Hitler was a man, after all, not a woman. No one can or will ever top Hitler in the crazy-delusional category. Just saying.

And further more, get out of my volcano lair laboratory and stay out! You've seen too much of my clone vats as it is!

 

[Uytuun]

No one can or will ever top Hitler in the crazy-delusional category. Just saying.

Oh you're on!

The female NFJs I know go for either TJs or ETPs. They do like a man who can take charge.

 

[jtanSis1]

one need be neither a foot stool nor an 'alpha', but an 'omega' might be a better option, and no I'm not talking about a god complex or anything like it. A man who has authority through his emotions makes him different from both types, however, it is a challenge to not only find said person, but also be willing to eventually reach the same. As ENFJ men or women, we are closest to this realization if we put forth the effort and the patience for someone to notice this effect and not let our emotions control us, but bring them into balance.

 

[Domino]

Oh you're on!

The female NFJs I know go for either TJs or ETPs. They do like a man who can take charge.

*devours your entire fambly... lovingly*

one need be neither a foot stool nor an 'alpha', but an 'omega' might be a better option, and no I'm not talking about a god complex or anything like it. A man who has authority through his emotions makes him different from both types, however, it is a challenge to not only find said person, but also be willing to eventually reach the same. As ENFJ men or women, we are closest to this realization if we put forth the effort and the patience for someone to notice this effect and not let our emotions control us, but bring them into balance.

I agree.

And for the record, I think the strength in an INFP lies in their inherent ability to allow the waves to roll over them, not roll them over. They're less Karate and more Akido.

 

[SciVo]

I'd rather be an asshole and die alone than be considered a footstool for women.

Me too. If you assumed I was talking about femdom... well, don't assume. And don't ask me to explain; I feel that I've said too much already.

 

[Afkan]

?

I think I just get irritated by the way that some conduct themselves. XXFJ guys tend to hold emotions in due to social stereotypes about how men should behave and the women tend not to. As a result, I really wanted to believe that the women would be all the better for it but not all of them are. Basically, the reality doesn't jive with my vision of how they should be. What they do sometimes reflects just as badly on us as a group, if not worse, than some of the things we male ENFJs do. It's a subset of leaks that I didn't know could spring.

For sake of analogy, I'm like an uneducated country bumpkin, who was never given the opportunity for education, who's irratated at uneducated people in an urban area who were obviously given the opportunity to further themselves and yet pissed it away because they were irrational.

I appreciate your explanation.

What I meant to allude to, dear Chris 1207, was that maybe you possibly feel like female ENFJs have an advantage...like for example, this thread. Where are the male ENFJs mentioned?

I think you are really grasping for something when you say that you are irritated with uneducated, irrational, pissing-away-opportunities (only as a metaphor) ENFJ women.

But you do have a point, and I guess you are looking at this in the face- you do say you feel like an uneducated country bumpkin never given the opportunity for education.

Why don't we start a thread, "ENFJ men, what do you seek in ideal women?" and pls pardon me if one already exists, being lazy and not searching for it and all

...but really, I think there are soooo many women who would LOVE/DIE to have a sweetly awesome studmuffin of a man ENFJ male.

Only difference? Society- male chasing after female, but not as often does the opposite occur. But please don't blame society's shittiness on ENFJ women!!!

I've always thought that ENFJs were like created for being courtesans, actually- but just the guys of course. Bc you know women would pay for that kind of love. I'm so not joking either.

?
I'd rather be an asshole and die alone than be considered a footstool for women.

Oh! I didnt even think of that interpretation, interesting. I took that to mean alpha male among other males, like at all costs...soooo unattractive. Like jockish dickheads, ya know?

 

[Glycerine]

ENFJ women are crazy. Far crazier than ENFJ guys. Basically, ENFJ's have way too many emotions and while you'd think that that would benefit the women in acting out who they really are, it's really more of an enabler of their negative traits because while ENFJ women are, at their best, lovely and full of wonderful idiosyncracies, they can be, at their worst, psychotic and delusional. Society basically says that their entitled to all of the delusional, feelings they want and they don't have to change for anyone. At the same time, they really go against the grain with their N nature. I gotta wonder if they ever become balanced individuals.

I feel sorry for the OP. All sorts of talk about being assertive and influential as being attractive traits in a guy. I've read many a profile and I've never seen that in the INFP ones...

You got to be kidding me? Fe males can be just as bad. I could go on further and say that the Fe can sometimes make the males more charismatic than the females especially if they have the LOOKS to go along with it (man, they can be quite the force to be reckoned with... WOW). However, if an individual has a negative attitude, it spoils the charisma rather quick.

 

[swordpath]

Pinky, this is to be your computer desktop wallpaper. Now and into forevermore.

 

[Domino]

Murderous cosmic space orcas FTW! I see my pod is orderly and space-like. As it should be.

 

[jtanSis1]

...but really, I think there are soooo many women who would LOVE/DIE to have a sweetly awesome studmuffin of a man ENFJ male.

I've always thought that ENFJs were like created for being courtesans, actually- but just the guys of course. Bc you know women would pay for that kind of love. I'm so not joking either.

Either I'm living under a rock or women are only saying this stuff in their fantasies, otherwise I'd be beating them off with a stick. As for being a courtesan, the right kind of love is better than any artificial attachment. If courtesan style of love is what a woman is looking for, then it would help if they would ignore all other types and look for more depth. A diamond is in the rough, not among other gems.

 

[Afkan]

Either I'm living under a rock or women are only saying this stuff in their fantasies, otherwise I'd be beating them off with a stick. As for being a courtesan, the right kind of love is better than any artificial attachment. If courtesan style of love is what a woman is looking for, then it would help if they would ignore all other types and look for more depth. A diamond is in the rough, not among other gems.

Well I thought it was funny...i didnt mean to make fun, or to reduce anyone. I just mean like the skills...

 

[Domino]

My ENFJ friend Taco *was* beating women off with a stick. I had never seen a guy with such game before, or so many chicks w/o being an ESxP. He even managed to get elected the first white fraternity leader at an all-black college. He gave "smooth" a new meaning.

His INFP wife is immune to his wiles. lol

 

[jtanSis1]

I'm just cursed then