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Thread: Any INFJ girls?

  1. #1

    Default Any INFJ girls?

    So the new girl in my life is an INFJ and I am hoping ya'll might have some suggestions on what her desires would be in a relationship or what would make her happy. She is pretty typical INFJ, doesn't like people looking at her, scared of alot of things...etc etc.

    This is a super rare type, if not the most rare? I am hoping there is one of you out there!

    Also I am ENFP so we are mirrors, any advice on how this might affect things?

  2. #2
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    you'd do better with an entj but honestly I don't know. I think you have to show that you are stable and consistent
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
    Jung Test Results
    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  3. #3
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Um . . . I believe my pastor is an ENFP and his wife an INFJ and I believe they are very happy together. They've been together well over twenty years. He appears to be very understanding of her introversion even though he has a very social job. He makes her laugh and she anchors him.

    My dear friend of over eight years is an ENFP. She tries not to overwhelm me and I appreciate that.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Well, I can give you some insight on interactions between the two types.

    My old roommate (and best friend) is an ENFP. She brings out my silly side a bit and I seem to ground her a little. Our biggest problem stemmed from communication style, though. I tend to be very direct when I speak & it comes off as bossy (and insensitive occasionally) to her. On the flip side, there's been more than one occasion when I simply didn't pay attention to something she said because she said it rather passively & she's complained that I never take her seriously. I also have this need for closure that she doesn't seem to understand at all.

    I really do love my best friend's carefree attitude and I certainly go out and socialize a LOT more when she's around. Sometimes I wish I could do that on my own! She totally brings out a GOOD side of me. She doesn't really understand my need to shut myself in my room & recharge, but respects it because she respects me. When we first became roommates, she would mistake my alone time for me being upset with her, though. So, don't take it personally.

    We are both sensitive people, but in different ways. This is probably the Fi/Fe difference. I tend to bend over backwards for others and will get utterly absorbed with THEIR emotions. This can be dehabilitating to me if I don't catch it (and I don't always catch it). My ENFP best friend will burst out crying because she feels personally insulted or if something really touched her heart, but doesn't seem to take on the emotions of others like I do. She is concerned with helping others, but seems to be able to detach herself from the needs of others more easily.

    I'll post more interactions as I think of them!

  5. #5

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    awesome! Thank you so much.
    Do INFJ's like enfp's where they aren't on time for stuff?

  6. #6
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    There are plenty of INFJ females on this forum, you will likely get a nice big thread over the next day or so.

  7. #7
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Hm, let me change the title of this thread a bit...

    Are there any single INFJs on this forum?

    Much better.

    To the OP,

    I've known a lot of ENFPs and they have a tendency to inadvertently manipulate, so don't take it personally if your INFJ tactlessly calls you on it, even when you weren't aware of it. Also, don't be around her when you are in a bad mood because that will most likely make her feel bad.

  8. #8
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Yeah, single might be a requirement. Most of the INFJ ladies are taken or taken with ring on finger.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    awesome! Thank you so much.
    Do INFJ's like enfp's where they aren't on time for stuff?
    An ENFP would be hard pressed to be less punctual that I tend to be. Hypocritical as it is, I hate waiting around bored, but it's usually okay because I carry something to read or my iPod loaded with audio books pretty much everywhere I go.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #10
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by findthejake View Post
    awesome! Thank you so much.
    Do INFJ's like enfp's where they aren't on time for stuff?
    INFJ's are pretty abstract, so they aren't structured in the way SJs would be. I taught college for a number of years and had trouble actually caring if students were late. I felt pressure to discipline, but my nature is very non-controlling in many ways, so it felt very artificial. If trust is not established in a relationship, being stood up, or having to wait around can cause feelings of rejection to fester. It would be ideal to have phone connection or something so any mishaps can be clarified. At this point i am so ridiculously spacey that i get continually frustrated with myself. I have to organize the outside world or i am hopelessly lost. People are often impressed with my apparent organizational skills. If they had any idea what it is like inside my mind, the irony of that statement would astound them. I live in a continual state of mild confusion over keeping track of this logistic or that. It's like nine marbles fit in my head, but i am responsible for ten. It often feels hopeless.

    It's always a good idea to directly ask the person what they want in the relationship since everyone is different. Withdrawn people sometimes need specific opportunity to voice their desires and concerns. It is unfortunate that INFJs can have a number of reflexes to withdraw from people and the world. It does make them harder to get to know and people sometimes imagines the reasons why they do this. These conclusions are usually amiss. I do think INFJs feel rather deeply, so being jerked around emotionally will wear them out and they will eventually leave such scenarios. Conflicting signals from people and outright conflict causes me to withdraw. This is especially true of subtle, undercurrents of tension. This is why i purposefully am drawn towards rather forthright people.

    Also, i believe most INFJs invest a great deal of energy into analyzing people and other topics they find meaningful. They either take a long, long time to reach an opinion/conclusion about something, or may come to a quick hunch about it, but then labor over second guessing and reexamining that hunch to be sure it is accurate. Because of this, it feels rather unpleasant to be readily dismissed by someone who hasn't invested much in the topic at hand. INFJs are also reluctant in making their opinions known.

    ENFPs are one of my favorite types and i have especially enjoyed working with ENFP performers in my field. I'm not sure what to say about a romantic relationship with one, except that it would be easy to get a pretty huge crush on one. I took a lesson from a rather renown ENFP (maybe ENFJ?) and his warmth and spontaneity were so compelling, i practically floated away. I am most drawn towards the ENFP authenticity and warmth as people. INFJs can have an uber-silly streak but it is usually seen in suppressed smiles of personal humor in a crowd left unaware.

    Honesty, consistency, and respecting natural processes are important to me as an INFJ. This probably relates to others?
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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