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[ENFJ] ENFJs and feeling appreciated

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
ENFJs, what makes you feel appreciated? What would be a good way to show an ENFJ you appreciate him/her?
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
Tell them you appreciate them. Be straight forward. This seems to work best in my experience.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Cookies. They seem to love cookies. Oh and telling them straight out that you appreciate them and why. Give them lots of hugs and kisses (be sure to set aside hours if you're planning to appreciate with kisses). Show that you're happy. They really thrive on that.
 

Moiety

New member
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Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Hmmm...How about a less straight forward way? Any suggestions?
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
Spend quality time with the person and have fun? Show interest in what they care about. Just like anyone else, they want to be understood and accepted. :)
 

A Schnitzel

WTF is this dude saying?
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
1,155
MBTI Type
INTP
Lets hang out sometime. Bring the jetpack.

Works every time.
 

Eris

New member
Joined
Jul 29, 2009
Messages
51
MBTI Type
IsTP
Well my brother is an ENFJ. He always wants company around (even when we were little and used to hate each other's guts, he still always wanted me to be to be there, which I never understood at the time), so hanging out, talking with him, and doing activities he likes with him is always appreciated on his part, especially since he knows I'm all introverted and whatnot. He also likes to tell me lengthy stories about current issues he's having with people, and he likes feedback and advice to show that you're listening and care about how he's feeling (Aw, I remember when we were little, I would pretend to nod off and fall asleep in the middle of whatever it was he was saying... And while it was obvious he wasn't too thrilled about this, he'd continue to tell me whatever it was he was saying...). And who doesn't like compliments on one's talents? Por ejemplo, my brother just started teaching himself the guitar not too long ago and never has had any voice lessons, but managed to compose a pretty good song through a video and uploaded it on Facebook. I later told him that I liked his video, and I therefore sent the video to all of my friends, and afterwards read him all of the compliments everyone gave him. That put a smile on his face. Aw, ain't that sweet?
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
(Aw, I remember when we were little, I would pretend to nod off and fall asleep in the middle of whatever it was he was saying... And while it was obvious he wasn't too thrilled about this, he'd continue to tell me whatever it was he was saying...). And who doesn't like compliments on one's talents?

Good thing your brother didn't say what he wanted to say spread across a hundred different threats. Did he try to make it easy on you?
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Hmmm...How about a less straight forward way? Any suggestions?

Emails, offline messages, text, strip-o-gram? What is it you need to appreciate and why can't you be straightforward about it?
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
sy...it might help if you clarified the nature of the relationship.
 

Eris

New member
Joined
Jul 29, 2009
Messages
51
MBTI Type
IsTP
Good thing your brother didn't say what he wanted to say spread across a hundred different threats. Did he try to make it easy on you?

Haha, yeah, I think his "feeliness" and his desire for company saved me on that one. Although I'm not sure if threats from him would have caused me to stop my antics or if his attempts would have just made me become more amused. :thinking:

Easy on me? As in sparing me an incredibly long story for a semi-long one? No, not really. I guess there was mutual annoyance in our situation. He'd tell me a not-so-exciting story of unnecessary length, and I'd mock him for some type of amusement in between. :alttongue:
 

bearette

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2009
Messages
44
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
4
since ENFJ's are always helping people, I think they appreciate being helped without having asked for it.

I don't know why you can't be direct but ENFJ's respond well to direct, enthusiastic and genuine appreciation...
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Cookies. They seem to love cookies. Oh and telling them straight out that you appreciate them and why. Give them lots of hugs and kisses (be sure to set aside hours if you're planning to appreciate with kisses). Show that you're happy. They really thrive on that.

Evil woman! I *do* love cookies!

I feel most appreciated when my gloriousness is expounded upon in epic Nordic boast-rhyme illuminating all my many brave feats of awesome.
 

The Grand Chameleon

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
144
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w2
ENFJs, what makes you feel appreciated? What would be a good way to show an ENFJ you appreciate him/her?

As stated before, directness and honesty never goes unnoticed or forgotten. Another zinger would be to be there when they require your aid or even just your presence, as much as they have invested in you. Everything is a two-way street for us, I believe.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I like being truly needed or integral to a system/loved person's life, even if it's seemingly silly stuff like making someone laugh, or "Pink, tell me what this word means" or "Pink, I just need to talk, got a minute?" I like to be in *a* position to help, not the exclusive person, and I would never manipulate someone in order to be in control of them or insert myself into their business if I'm not asked inside first. When my ENTJ best friend tells me that if she doesn't know the answer to something, calling the Twins will reveal the mystery, that makes me feel very loved and appreciated. I know she's proud of our intelligence (wacky ENTJs!) and that in turn makes me want to get smarter and smarter so I can be mighty and stuff.
 

TopherRed

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
1,272
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
It just hit me...we're a weird bunch. Sy, what Pink and Chameleon said.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
When others are made to relinquish, I feel like it's my job to not let go. I've made allegorical parallels to grabbing on and dipping souls out of the Styx. It really does feel like that sometimes. My friends appreciate my ferociousness and tenacity.

Being a bulldog can have huge downsides too of course. Like when you NEED to let go and don't know how.
 
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