[INFP] Have INFPs identity issues?

[Malcontent]

In my thought being an intp or infp, I would like to know if it is common for an INFP having identity issues, and if it could be due to turbolent feelings that can make difficult a path for self-discovery. A sort of: "I can act only if I know really who I am".
I always change my mind about who I am and who I want become. One day I think I like a career and another day I would like another career who is the opposite. And so on... So I am constantly self-absorbed, self-doubt and mild depressed.
Any INFP can relate to this in some way, or I am on the wrong side?
Thank you.

 

[heart]

How old are you? That matters I think...Because if you are a teenager this:

I always change my mind about who I am and who I want become. One day I think I like a career and another day I would like another career who is the opposite. And so on... So I am constantly self-absorbed, self-doubt and mild depressed.

Is maybe just growing pains?

If you're older, then yeah you might be INFP.

 

[OrangeAppled]

It's pretty stereotypically INFP, and I admit, I fall into it myself at times

 

[Malcontent]

How old are you? That matters I think...Because if you are a teenager this:

Is maybe just growing pains?

If you're older, then yeah you might be INFP.

I am not a teenager since a lot of years.
The truth is that when I was a teenager my life was not very difficult.
I remember those years in a nostalgic way.
I liked school, I had good parents and a circle of friends.
But when I've had growing up, choose a path, a meaning in my life, around 20 I started feel pain, doubt and so on. I think I am wasting a lot of years...

 

[Thessaly]

In my thought being an intp or infp, I would like to know if it is common for an INFP having identity issues, and if it could be due to turbolent feelings that can make difficult a path for self-discovery. A sort of: "I can act only if I know really who I am".
I always change my mind about who I am and who I want become. One day I think I like a career and another day I would like another career who is the opposite. And so on... So I am constantly self-absorbed, self-doubt and mild depressed.
Any INFP can relate to this in some way, or I am on the wrong side?
Thank you.

I am like this to the extreme. It is difficult always being full of indecision and confusion. I'm working on it though...

 

[The Outsider]

Yep, I relate.

 

[souffle]

I relate definitely. But I'm a teenager, so some of it might be influenced by growing pains!

 

[Thalassa]

Well, at first I didn't want to choose anything definite; I just wanted to live and explore my options. I had a really interesting time in very early twenties. It was as I began to approach thirty that I actually became *concerned* about what to be "when I grow up." I've got a vague idea, but I'm not totally sure. I do know what I don't want.

However, I know an INTP with advanced degrees who is not thrilled with his career options now that he has his PhD. So I'm not sure INFPs own this. I know an ISFP who knows exactly who he is, but has no clue what to do with it and has self-esteem issues with applying it to the "real world" of making money.

 

[underradar]

Sometimes I feel this feeling of emptiness in my beings... it's like maybe I'm just a flesh and blood.
Flesh and blood...with needs

I think experince something is really important to me. Because I really can't just tell who I am or what I want except when I am living it that I can just tell 'this is not what I am or I hate doing this'. I can't find the answer by just thinking about it. So I guess it might easier for infp to know what you don't like. On the
other hand to know who you really are or what you want is another story! Also I can be
trapped by fear of failure that make me freeze up and doing nothing which it is something
I try to change about myself.

Another issue that I always struggle with my identity is I'm sooooo perceptive of
other people's feeling(my family to be exact) that leave me to more confusion. Because
there's a part of me who wants to just live my life but there's another part who wants to
please my parent by doing what's expect of me. I hateee disappointed them so... I end
up doing things that's really not what I want. I still struggle with this til this day(I'm already 24) eventhough I start to become better at it. (times help...)

 

[aliwan]

Absolutely

Malcontent,

I agree completely - you express this quite eloquently. I am 49 and have still not found a cure for this, although my career has been quite stable. I desperately want to do something more personally meaningful, but that definition changes all the time. I don't feel that I can follow through on any coherent vision of who I want to become, and don't trust the evidence of a stable career and family life that I have arrived at an authentic expression of my self.

 

[rainoneventide]

I definitely relate. Sometimes, I don't even know who I am.

 

[speculative]

In my thought being an intp or infp, I would like to know if it is common for an INFP having identity issues, and if it could be due to turbolent feelings that can make difficult a path for self-discovery. A sort of: "I can act only if I know really who I am".
I always change my mind about who I am and who I want become. One day I think I like a career and another day I would like another career who is the opposite. And so on... So I am constantly self-absorbed, self-doubt and mild depressed.
Any INFP can relate to this in some way, or I am on the wrong side?
Thank you.

Introverted feeling is making judgements about who you should be, while extroverted intuition is seeing endless possibilities. This makes the search for identity a constant, on-going process. (See my sig.) To add to this, INFPs see the "persona" that everyone wears. This makes us question our own identity and the persona that we wear more than most types. For example:

-At times, I have been a writer.
-At time, I have worn the persona of a writer, but I was not a writer in any sense.
-At times, I have been a writer and have worn the persona of a writer at the same time.

I think it is a good thing that INFPs have many interests and aspire to many different goals; however, a bird in hand beats two in the bush. We have to find some way to deploy more rapidly. People in this day and age have at least several careers over the course of their lives, so I think the trick is to get started and just do it and if something doesn't work out do something else. The tough part is when you get "settled" into a job that pays good money: changing at this point is tough if you don't have a support system or a good savings account to carry you through to your next success.

I don't feel that I can follow through on any coherent vision of who I want to become, and don't trust the evidence of a stable career and family life that I have arrived at an authentic expression of my self.

For me, this search for an authentic self is key. I think we have to be wary of missing the trees for the forest here though. You can have "the good life" in many, many different ways. Two people living the same kind of suburbia lifestyle could be completely authentically different from one another...