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  1. #21
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Wonka, if I ask questions of you or probe for more details, it is for clarification - not "to nitpick, overanalyze and discount."

    I mean, the alternative is for me to pretend I always know what you're talking about, but how would that be better? I would think you would encourage questions for greater understanding of what you are trying to express, rather than get defensive about them and just say everyone is nitpicking.

    There's a difference between someone picking at details that are irrelevant to derail a discussion and someone asking questions to genuinely understand. I don't ever have a problem with someone asking me to clarify if they don't understand what I am saying, and I don't get why it bothers you so much.
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  2. #22
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    There's a difference between someone picking at details that are irrelevant to derail a discussion and someone asking questions to genuinely understand. I don't ever have a problem with someone asking me to clarify if they don't understand what I am saying.
    I'm with you on that. And as long as things are not stated antagonistically, I see no reason why it should be taken offensively.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I'm with you on that. And as long as things are not stated antagonistically, I see no reason why it should be taken offensively.
    That's the thing. They sometimes are, and it's disrespectful and annoying.

    But nonetheless, I can see what Jeffster and you are saying.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  4. #24
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I'm with you on that. And as long as things are not stated antagonistically, I see no reason why it should be taken offensively.
    I don't agree.

    It doesn't have to be stated antagonistically to be irritating and distracting.
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  5. #25
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    You have purposely joined a forum with people who think differently than you. Do you not think they are going to state their differences of opinion, and also communicate it in differing styles? If someone truly doesn't understand and is asking for clarification, I would think any other conversation you may encounter IRL might involve you explaining and it wouldn't be out of the way. Unless of course the person is doing it for their own entertainment, rudely, or to make you look stupid. If none of these are happening, why would it be irritating? They actually care enough about what you are saying to make sure they understand it sufficiently to get your meaning.

    The only reason I can see that people could take offense to that is if they feel that it reflects poorly on their ability to state things clearly. This is one of the biggest advantages I see in participating here. I find out where there are gaps in the way I communicate.

  6. #26
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Look, all it comes down to is that I'm here to offer my unique perspective, in my own personal style.

    I do my best to communicate as effectively as possible, but at the end of the day, I don't have to watch all my P's and Q's.

    I am NEVER going to present things in a way that will satisfy everyone, and I see no point in trying.


    I simply don't have the time to address all the issues people bring up.

    It's draining and excessive, from my point of view.


    If you think everything is fuckin peachy on TypeC, then that's your opinion.

    But I think there is a ridiculous amount of trolling and I'm simply expressing my point of view on that.

    Take it or leave it.
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  7. #27
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I'm with you on that. And as long as things are not stated antagonistically, I see no reason why it should be taken offensively.
    I don't agree.

    And I'll give you an example:

    I believe you have good intentions, and you certainly present yourself in these posts as very friendly and reasonable.

    But your Mother Hen insistence on trying to reconcile all opposing views and constantly giving unsolicited advice is thoroughly irritating to me.

    I suspect that your kind and gentle presentation masks a deeper frustration about the existence of conflict in the world.

    I'm not advising you to do anything about it.

    Im fairly certain you think you are helping.

    I'm simply giving you an example of how things can be irritating even if they are presented nicely.
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  8. #28
    Member Darkéy's Avatar
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    Never! All mine I say! MIIINE!

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    Ps. I read the whole thread, honest! xD
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  9. #29
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I actually believe that conflict is one of the healthiest things out there, as long as it is done with honorable motivations and in a non-destructive manner. A lot of truth comes out that is masked when everyone just pretends things are fine. My motivation is not frustration so much as I don't want to see someone feeling upset and leaving if it could be avoided. I know this forum serves a good purpose for a lot of us either who are going through hard times or need other perspectives. However, I will not continue in this thread if it is making things worse.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    See it as a learning process, Wonka. I agree with you completely in your rant, but we need to go beyond being mad.

    There is a lot to learn, and like Fidelia said, conflict and dispute is the road to knowledge and understanding. It's mutual. Maybe we need to be a bit more open to others worrying about what they want, and the same time, try to understand why they do it, and work around it.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

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