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  1. #1
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    Default Accepting your Flaws..INFPs

    I am New here!! I am in a, or was in very intense relationship with an INFP

    As predicted, things have kinda taken a turn for the "less than stellar".. I know a lot of it has to do with not being emotionally aware enough..

    But my issue was/is... My INFP just can't seem to handle that she is not pure in every way.. what I mean is.. she really has trouble with her flaw being pointed out..(which is a touch of hypocrisy.. "I can break my rules.. you can't") .. And even on those rare occasions when I could articulate myself and seemed to find the key to communicating and show her how it hurt me, and see her express remorse.. She would almost immediately start to take it back..and before long I was saying sorry for something too..

    Is this common for INFPs in general.. or was it simply a poor dynamic of our personality types???

    Do you guys and gals have trouble knowing you have the odd less than desirable trait??

    Please help me understand..what I am so obviously not getting

    I do not enjoy hurting her.. and cannot always carry the burden of having done so..
    Last edited by Jack_Rabid; 07-31-2009 at 07:00 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Kiersey says its a big deal for us. I've never felt that way though. Fi is very idealistic. The bar is set !!!VERY!!! high.

  3. #3
    Senior Member TSDesigner's Avatar
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    I watched an INFP on youtube and she gave me the impression that she expects everyone to conform to all her beliefs and all her humanitarian causes or else she will think you're a very bad person. She seemed really pushy with her beliefs and causes underneath her surface niceness.

  4. #4
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    INFPs do have a hard time accepting their flaws. We hate contradicting ourselves, and when we do we get all weird on the inside. She was probably contradicting herself in some way and felt bad about it, and then seeing you break one of her unspoken rules made her angry.

    Is this common for INFPs in general.. or was it simply a poor dynamic of our personality types???
    Why would it be a poor dynamic of your personality types? This may very well be common for INFPs in general, I've observed this on here and also in people's complaints and experience with INFPs. This seems to be mostly with the females though strangely. I personally don't do this, but I like to consider myself different.

    Do you guys and gals have trouble knowing you have the odd less than desirable trait??
    What do you mean by this?

    Quote Originally Posted by TSDesigner View Post
    I watched an INFP on youtube and she gave me the impression that she expects everyone to conform to all her beliefs and all her humanitarian causes or else she will think you're a very bad person. She seemed really pushy with her beliefs and causes underneath her surface niceness.
    Ignorance is bliss.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #5
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack_Rabid View Post
    I am New here!! I was in a, or was in very intense relationship with an INFP

    As predicted, things have kinda taken a turn for the "less than stellar".. I know a lot of it has to do with not being emotionally aware enough..

    But my issue was/is... My INFP just can't seem to handle that she is not pure in every way.. what I mean is.. she really has trouble with her flaw being pointed out..(which is a touch of hypocrisy.. "I can break my rules.. you can't") .. And even on those rare occasions when I could articulate myself and seemed to find the key to communicating and show her how it hurt me, and see her express remorse.. She would almost immediately start to take it back..and before long I was saying sorry for something too..

    Is this common for INFPs in general.. or was it simply a poor dynamic of our personality types???

    Do you guys and gals have trouble knowing you have the odd less than desirable trait??

    Please help me understand..what I am so obviously not getting

    I do not enjoy hurting her.. and cannot always carry the burden of having done so..
    She should get an older brother trust me, they're great at letting you know when you suck.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #6
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    Hmm...first of all, is she young? That might be it. Some people won't admit their flaws because they're insecure or not ready to face themselves. I know my mom does that kind of thing, she's middle aged, and most likely an ESFP. I don't know that it's necessarily an INFP thing, but I do identify to doing that when I was younger. I am very conscious of trying to be real now, maybe because my mother's self-absorbed piety makes me want to punch her, and I don't want to be like that.

  7. #7
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    Come to think of it, maybe it's Fi that causes that crap - ESFPs and ISFPs have Fi just like INFPs and ENFPs do.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack_Rabid View Post
    I am New here!! I was in a, or was in very intense relationship with an INFP

    As predicted, things have kinda taken a turn for the "less than stellar".. I know a lot of it has to do with not being emotionally aware enough..

    But my issue was/is... My INFP just can't seem to handle that she is not pure in every way.. what I mean is.. she really has trouble with her flaw being pointed out..(which is a touch of hypocrisy.. "I can break my rules.. you can't") .. And even on those rare occasions when I could articulate myself and seemed to find the key to communicating and show her how it hurt me, and see her express remorse.. She would almost immediately start to take it back..and before long I was saying sorry for something too..

    Is this common for INFPs in general.. or was it simply a poor dynamic of our personality types???

    Do you guys and gals have trouble knowing you have the odd less than desirable trait??

    Please help me understand..what I am so obviously not getting

    I do not enjoy hurting her.. and cannot always carry the burden of having done so..
    There's not enough information here to give any kind of real feedback. jmo. What were the flaws that you had a problem with? What was the context in which the discussions came up?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    INFPs do have a hard time accepting their flaws. We hate contradicting ourselves, and when we do we get all weird on the inside. She was probably contradicting herself in some way and felt bad about it, and then seeing you break one of her unspoken rules made her angry.

    This I would say nails it..

    Why would it be a poor dynamic of your personality types? This may very well be common for INFPs in general, I've observed this on here and also in people's complaints and experience with INFPs. This seems to be mostly with the females though strangely. I personally don't do this, but I like to consider myself different.

    Well we get along so brilliantly every way.. except conflict.. and no amount of intellect,reasoning or emotional submission seems to help.. We just end accusing each other or not listening..

    What do you mean by this?

    Simply, is it common for the type to take criticism.. even soft and gentle criticism very poorly?

    Ignorance is bliss.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Hmm...first of all, is she young? That might be it. Some people won't admit their flaws because they're insecure or not ready to face themselves. I know my mom does that kind of thing, she's middle aged, and most likely an ESFP. I don't know that it's necessarily an INFP thing, but I do identify to doing that when I was younger. I am very conscious of trying to be real now, maybe because my mother's self-absorbed piety makes me want to punch her, and I don't want to be like that.
    She is 47.. very wise.. yet not always so self aware.. Or is it Too self aware??

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