[MBTI General] Extroverted Introvert or Intoverted Extrovert?

[briochick]

Right, I was recently told that being an extrovert doesn't have to do with being outgoing at all but rather with if you talk out your problems, or like to talk them out, with someone.
...
Considering that I consider all things that people say to me I'm now baffled.
In addition I find that I, who test INFP, have more friends than my father, who tests ENFJ.
Could both my parents be introverts? (My father believes so)
I certainly am more social than either of my parents, though at one time my father was more social than I am now. But, I'm much less social than my brother or sister. I love to talk with one or two people. But much more than that (5 or 6) and it starts getting really akward for me. But, I have a blast being a teacher and getting to put off my "boring" self for a while an be a clown and an authority, but it wears me out. WEARS. ME. OUT.
So, quite frankly, I'm confused. Based off of personal experience and observation I see so many shades of social and non-social, of inward reflection and outward reflection, of energy levels, of thoughtfulness, of interest in partying, that I have no idea what determines an introvert or an extrovert other than in the most extreme cases.
I also have no poker face, unlike the INFJs who seem to almost always wear a poker face.

And, how do you account for personal changes? ie. personal growth? Now, in Please Understand Me II I got the impression that we're all supposed to be aiming toward a score that is nearly even, meaning we're more well rounded and thus more adaptable an functional. Is that so? People seem pretty proud of being unbalanced types....

 

[Scott N Denver]

I'm sure there are other threads on tihs topic. We introverts can be VERY social. We just can't hold it forever. Nor it our way of decompressing and reconnecting with ourselves.

I don't believe that we develop towards the middle [ie average our traits towards zero/middle ground] but instead develop our weaker functions to add to skills we bring to the table.

How is life in Spain? Way different than Korea I imagine. Have you lived in the States? Any particular differences between places that you've noticed or would like to share?

Are you another of our infpGC crossovers? I think that puts us at 4 for that then, myself being one of them. By join date I guess I can't call you "recent" but a number of us [INFP's] are on both forums.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm much more like an INFP and I usually test as INFP, but I'm actually borderline ENFP. I like to talk out my problems. I can be a real loudmouth if I have a strong opinion about something or I'm super excited. I actually used to earn a living by being on stage. I'm just not wildly social and I need plenty of alone time to think and create and ...stuff. People who are extremely, extremely social tend to get on my nerves.

 

[briochick]

yes, I'm on both forums. honestly, the gc seemed dead when I was there, and i got tired of the wallowing...
The issue is finding a thread that directly addresses my facet of the introvert-is-extrovert issue, especially regarding the theory I mentioned at the beginning.
If someone wanted to have a go at my questions, or direct me to a place where they'd already been answered I would appreciate that.

 

[briochick]

but, sunrise, does that mean you're an enfp or an infp?

 

[Thalassa]

who knows? I identify as an iNFP.

 

[Scott N Denver]

yes, I'm on both forums. honestly, the gc seemed dead when I was there, and i got tired of the wallowing...
The issue is finding a thread that directly addresses my facet of the introvert-is-extrovert issue, especially regarding the theory I mentioned at the beginning.
If someone wanted to have a go at my questions, or direct me to a place where they'd already been answered I would appreciate that.

GC has its great moments, but they seem rather infrequent to me. But when its on its spot on. But yes, LOTS of wallowing...:steam:

I thought I answered my take on your questions, well except for both your parents being introverts or not. Since I don't know them I'm afraid I cant be of much help there. Both of my parents are introverts though if that helps. But when I'm in the mood I can TOTALLY outsocialize them.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Well, you could determine it by your dominant function - in this case, Ne or Fi. Have you taken a cognitive functions test?

Which profile strikes a chord with you more, the INFP or the ENFP?
I too have moments of being loud/talkative/assertive, but I largely relate to being an INFP and can't sustain that level of exertion for long periods.

I like the analogy of extroverts to a solar panel...they soak up mental energy from external interactions (the sun), but when they turn inward & are alone (under the clouds), they are running off of stored energy. They have to get that external exposure to charge up. An introvert is more like a battery. They get energy by turning inward, and recharging. When dealing with the external world, they are running off of stored energy. This is why introverts will need more time alone & may tend to be quiet/reserved, because living life is largely external, so we tend to run down faster & have to conserve our energy.

In this case, energy is mental stimulation, not physical energy necessarily. Every human needs to rest and have downtime of course.

Also, the extroversion & introversion scale is just that - a scale. It's not always either/or, but a degree. So some people are more introverted or extroverted than others.

Also note that introversion is not shyness or social anxiety, so when an introvert is charged & on, they can come across as very outgoing and sociable. The difference is, no matter how enjoyable it is, it is taxing their reserve of mental energy to be so out there.

 

[Scott N Denver]

My solar cell analogy is the following: introverts make them, extraverts sell them.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[briochick]

guh, I just burned my tongue. If I made my green tea instead of bought it from a coffee shop I wouln't have that issue. ok, back on subject: I don't know if I'm charged by people. Because...I'm generally charged up by kids, but not adults, though there definately are exceptions with the kids.
I also took a conitive functions test and I think function wise my first two were ENFP and everything else was INFP. So, it listed me as ENFP but I was very confused.

 

[Gloriana]

I'm an INFJ and this thread seems to be about INFPs (a type I don't know a lot about) but I wanted to throw in.

I am not a shy person either, and I too made a living being on a stage as an Improv performer. All my MBTI tests always came back with INFJ and it confused me because I associated 'introversion' with 'shyness', as I think a lot of people do. My family is comprised of all introverts like me, but the rest of my family is pretty much comprised of hermits. I'm loud at times, opinionated, and genuinely like being with people. Very confusing!

I saw an illustration in an MBTI book once that made things so clear to me. It was supposed to illustrate the main difference between introverts and extroverts. The figure of the extrovert was depicted with a wire coming from himself that was plugged into the world, whereas the introvert was depicted with the wire plugged into himself. Basically saying "An extrovert gets their energy from the people and world around them, the introvert gets their energy from within themselves".

It made perfect sense to me. I get a kick out of people and crave companionship just like anyone, I just crave it less, it takes more out of me, and I need alone time to recharge. I'm not shy, I just don't get energy from others as much as I do from my alone time. I might spend a whole day with people I love or I might spend a day performing, but it will drain my resources and I need quiet time alone to refill the energy I need to do it all again, if that makes sense

An extrovert might be shy, but they will get their energy refilled simply by being around people. I know a couple of people who have a painfully hard time talking to anyone at parties or gatherings but want to go all the same. They'll come back feeling good and energized from being around others even if they spoke to no one.

I went on a little longer than I intended, but I hope this was perhaps helpful

 

[briochick]

Thanks. I thought it was interesting because on Sunday I went out to lunch with the church group I had attended and I had a great and rather lively conversation with three very interesting and different people. It was awesome, and I came home and talked to my father about it, and I was hyper for about half an hour, and then ttthhhtt! all my energy was gone. I didn't even have the energy to go to my regular church (which I adore), I just wanted to sleep. I used to be very shy, but I don't really have that option anymore. Of course, I used to also be a cutter and I don't do that either.