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[Se] Playing Hard To Get

seeker22

New member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
173
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Turn On or Turn Off??

Displayed By A Person You Like: Would this frustrate you to the point of giving up or interest you to the point of pursuit?

Yourself: Have you ever employed this method? Did it work, or backfire?
 

metaphours

cast shadows
Joined
Jun 16, 2009
Messages
1,194
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Not a turn on or turn off. It's just annoying.

But yeah, I've employed this method :D
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
Not a turn-off per se, but likely to discourage me from pursuing.

I haven't intentionally used the tactic, but I've noticed that disinterest is a surprisingly effective aphrodisiac.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Absolutely fun in the beginning of the courtship. Have both used it and had it used on me. It allows for a nice game of tag. After that, it should slowely vanish, as it becomes exhausting.
 

seeker22

New member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
173
MBTI Type
XNTJ
I haven't intentionally used the tactic, but I've noticed that disinterest is a surprisingly effective aphrodisiac.

Yes, interesting how sometimes *indifference* can ignite others like moth to flame.

Curious why that is. Wouldn't we want it to be "equal" or is that too *boring*?

Or maybe some just like *the chase*... the *not knowing for certain*... the *maybe/maybe not*...

Whereas some prefer the certainty of *yes we like each other and are dating.*
 

seeker22

New member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
173
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Absolutely fun in the beginning of the courtship. Have both used it and had it used on me. It allows for a nice game of tag. After that, it should slowely vanish, as it becomes exhausting.

Great point. Yes, I do enjoy it as a PRELUDE or SEGUE... However I would not enjoy an entire relationship existence built on cat and mouse because yes - it would be exhausting - and also - seems to turn into more of a power/control struggle than anything...
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
^LOL, yeah right :D
 

StephMC

Controlled Mischief
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
1,044
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
As an introverted female, I absolutely do not play "initiator" in the beginning... I'm a responder. Therefore playing hard to get just makes me lose interest.

As for myself, I don't think I've ever intentionally tried to play hard to get.
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
Yes, interesting how sometimes *indifference* can ignite others like moth to flame.

Curious why that is. Wouldn't we want it to be "equal" or is that too *boring*?

Or maybe some just like *the chase*... the *not knowing for certain*... the *maybe/maybe not*...

Whereas some prefer the certainty of *yes we like each other and are dating.*

With the guys it works on I think it's the thrill of the hunt. They enjoy the challenge, or so they say. Plus there are some guys who would lose respect for a girl who "gave it up too easy".

It's all a bit distasteful to me, but it seems to work depressingly often. *shrugs*
 
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BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It's pretty retarded and takes extra effort... so I'm not going to do it.

It's a turnoff for me because it annoys me, and I can't be around people who annoy me. And for most other reasons posted.
 

statuesquechica

New member
Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
428
MBTI Type
INFj
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I have never done it and can't imagine I would ever do this to someone else. I guess I just see it as counter-productive if I feel interested in a person and want to reciprocate.
 

Edgar

Nerd King Usurper
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
4,266
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sx
If it's done in an obvious joking kind of way then that's cool.

If done for the purpose of "increasing worth" or "avoid looking like a ho" then that's just counterproductive and retarded. I see nothing sexy about strong arming someone into a relationship.

Unfortuantely it seems to be "a reasonable course of action" in our society, since we are still feeling the effects of various puritan values from the dark ages.
 

Nonsensical

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,006
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
Neither.

I'd go way out of my way to get a girl, but not for anything else. I am extremely lazy, but would chase a girl if I really liked her. But I'd only run after her if I knew that she secretly liked me and was really playing hard-to-get.

But if it was too intense, and I have doubts if she really liked me or not, then I just fade out. I don't have the courage and the motivation to make girls like me by chasing them all over and not letting them breathe.
 

The Third Rider

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
763
MBTI Type
ENFj
Hard to get? Only she gives me some signals that she is remotely interested other than that I hate being a pain and chasing down someone more so if its for romantic reasons. I just don't like "annoying" people so it might not be best to do it on me if you have some sort of interest.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If it's done in an obvious joking kind of way then that's cool.

If done for the purpose of "increasing worth" or "avoid looking like a ho" then that's just counterproductive and retarded. I see nothing sexy about strong arming someone into a relationship.

Unfortuantely it seems to be "a reasonable course of action" in our society, since we are still feeling the effects of various puritan values from the dark ages.

THISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHIS
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
If it's done in an obvious joking kind of way then that's cool.

If done for the purpose of "increasing worth" or "avoid looking like a ho" then that's just counterproductive and retarded. I see nothing sexy about strong arming someone into a relationship.

Unfortuantely it seems to be "a reasonable course of action" in our society, since we are still feeling the effects of various puritan values from the dark ages.

but you like it when Synarch strong arms you...

I agree with all that you said, surprise surprise... It has to be understood that it's playful and joking. I don't want people who don't want me, and I don't want to push someone away that I really want.
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
I think I am too direct for this crap as I get older. If you like me just tell me. Otherwise go like somebody else. Seems silly to beat around the bush about it endlessly.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
I'm likely to forget about you/assume you have no interest if you're playing hard to get.

I've been accused of doing it before though, when it's typically just a case of being oblivious.
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
507
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
753
It's lame on so many levels, I find it rather superficial, and it leaves me more hurt than inspired.

Kill it.
 
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