User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 49

Thread: INFJ childhood

  1. #21
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    410

    Default

    I'm kinda glad that I have my memory problems because that makes it easier for me to forget about my childhood, and actually most of the vast majority of my life; what parts of it I do remember usually aren't much worth remembering anyways.
    Enneagram 9w1 sp/so
    [sigpic][/sigpic]

  2. #22
    Sniffles
    Guest

    Default

    I grew up in a very un-INFJ friendly enviroment. Not least of which with my consistent problems getting along with other children. My sister used to bully me considerably, and if that wasn't enough she would also get many of the other kids in the neighborhood to join in whenever possible. Not only that, but family gatherings were a pain too since my sister and cousins would also gang up on me. My classmates weren't any better.

    So I grew up with a sense of the world hating me, because in many ways that's literally how it was. When you're younger, it's absolute torture to face the world with that notion floating constantly in your head - that everybody is against you and you have no allies(at least available ones). My few friends were either older or younger than me, which meant I could only socialise with them occasionally. Sometimes I was lucky to do so once a month.

    So I guess my Fe was pretty fucked up in such an enviroment; which probably explains why I still have a general sense of being unwelcomed among people. Also with my sarcastic remarks about how everybody hates me. As I often explain to people, it's an inside joke with myself in light of my early life.

    On the positive side, my experiences helped build a strong innate sense of inner strength; along with a strong sense of personal independence.

  3. #23
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    So I thought I'd write some more.

    First of all, much of how I now view my family's interaction is with hindsight; growing up, I think I was quite happy with my family, in my family, and I didn't judge them, or the whole aura, negatively. Or, I don't remember doing so. With my family, I was happy, and I think I had a very good, lucky, stable childhood, in that sense. But it remains true that I did not learn how to socialize, or how to talk about anything, or how to open up, from my family. My family didn't probe into each other -- we were like four separate planets, in the same solar system, but quite separate, and like I said in my first post, little deep interaction. It may have been along the lines of Leave it to Beaver. Very stable and 'How was your day?' sort of thing. I don't blame my parents at all -- they are who they are, just as I am who I am, and it's just the blending of all of us that didn't really spark anything, apparently. At least in the way that I believe my soul/emotional side could have benefited from. However, I don't want to bring Fe into the picture, or other cognitive functions, because I don't think it's right either to say that my family was 'anti-Fe' (what does that mean, exactly, anyway?), or the like. We were what we were.

    But, I'm rambling now. It was with those my age - my peers - that I was quite unhappy/depressed/disconnected. I did not know how to relate to the vast majority, and like I said, I came to fear others, thus I withdrew and pretty much ceased to interact with most people. I was labelled 'quiet' and 'sweet' and 'smart' -- labels which have followed me throughout life -- but no one really knew much of me beyond that.

    I don't think the socialization was as big a deal up until junior high -- I had some friendships. But this might sound weird, but in a few instances I would become friends with people, only to find that those peoples' other friends would be jealous of their friendship with me, would turn them against me, and then I wouldn't have a friend anymore. So there was a series of instances where I would be friends with someone, then I would somehow cease to be 'cool' enough, or jealousy would pop in, and then I would be cast away and rejected. After that happening, and then those junior high years where everyone becomes horrendously mean, I just ceased to trust people, and by junior high was purely observant and I became horrified at the cliques, the gossip, the superficialities, etc etc. I came to dislike the majority of people, and that's something that's only dissipated, slowly, over the past 10 years.

    I could probably cover a variety of other topics on childhood, but I'll stop there!

    The end.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  4. #24
    violaine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I could probably cover a variety of other topics on childhood, but I'll stop there!
    Lol, I almost wrote just that before editing my last post for brevity! Discussing childhood is a pet INFJ topic, is it not?

    I'm very interested in hearing about people's childhood years. (Hopefully not with such interest as to be insensitive though, I don't like talking in a way that makes a person who had a tough childhood feel necessarily defined by it.) These discussions always leads to 'aha' moments, most often with regard to myself. e.g. In reading a few posts I wonder if the fact that I had such a people and interaction filled childhood is why I have tended to prefer fellow introverts for company. *muses* I could go on with qualifications and disclaimers but I think I'll leave it there too.

  5. #25
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    1,899

    Default

    I had an abusive childhood not friendly for anyone :/ I spent extended periods of time alone, and was picked on repeatedly and my own mother makes up lies and myself and my sister to make herself seem more interesting :/
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  6. #26
    Member Jaded Idealist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    34

    Default

    I'm kinda glad that I have my memory problems because that makes it easier for me to forget about my childhood, and actually most of the vast majority of my life; what parts of it I do remember usually aren't much worth remembering anyways.
    My memory, on the other hand, is pretty much picture perfect (when I spend enough time piecing the puzzle together, that is). My parents are sometimes amazed how vividly I an recall memories from the age of 2 or 3.

    I remember being bullied at very early ages for doing practically nothing. It's like I was somehow a natural target.

    At a certain point, it was really impossible for me to interact with other people in the informal way where you can contently talk in large groups about nothing at all. How am I going to act as if everything is perfectly sweet and buddy-buddy when I can see right through the matrix, and realize quite frankly that your facade is but a thin veil concealing the disingenuous person underneath?

  7. #27
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    230

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded Idealist View Post
    How am I going to act as if everything is perfectly sweet and buddy-buddy when I can see right through the matrix, and realize quite frankly that your facade is but a thin veil concealing the disingenuous person underneath?
    This is why my Mother taught me to read before I hit kindergarten. I ignored people by reading. That was my safe haven.
    Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
    -Alice in Wonderland

  8. #28
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    I'm very interested in hearing about people's childhood years. (Hopefully not with such interest as to be insensitive though, I don't like talking in a way that makes a person who had a tough childhood feel necessarily defined by it.) These discussions always leads to 'aha' moments, most often with regard to myself.
    my mom was a supportive and encouraging infp, but i'm jealous that you had an enfp mom. if i had a single dominant intuitive in my life when i was younger, i think i would have felt much differently about many things.



    the first dominant intuitve influence i can spot is the only great teacher i had throughout high school- my ap english teacher. classic entp. that class was groundbreaking for me. i had always liked reading, but this class made me believe in ideas, art, intellectual life, etc. sadly it didn't happen until my senior year.

    actually, looking back, i had two other teachers in elementary school. my fifth grade teacher was a late addition. the school decided to start a new class, and they put all the kids the teachers didn't like into that class. she stole us away and was like the teacher in mathilda. she gave me a math book and let me work at my own pace, bc i quickly grew bored if i had to wait for the other kids to catch up. she also took interest in her students and showed up to one of my soccer games. i'm guessing enfp.

    when i was in 1st grade, i also had a teacher who would write notes home every day grading my behavior. i always had difficulty paying attention to the teacher and refraining from talking to a girl or two in each class. she told me if i received something like 7 good notes in a row, she'd take me to lunch. and she did!

  9. #29
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    761

    Default

    Interesting. I do believe that nurture effects the flavor of a person, as does the temperament which we were born with (un-MBTI, tada.)

    I grew up in a introverted and thinking family and culture. The family atmosphere is against expressing emotions and acting on them. There has to be some sort of rational behind what you do. And I did learn to hide my emotions.
    I've been told that my grandmother, in whose care I often was, was neglective and to a level abusive towards me, but I can only remember some incidents. My father has been a heavy user of alcohol and psychologically abusive (even when not drunk) through my childhood and teens. And it has been suggested that I developed a sensibility to people's moods and emotions in order to adapt to that or to avoid it somehow.

    I was attentive of people's emotions and thoughts since little, however I didn't always understand why or what for they did things etc.
    I still feel as if I don't understand people, or the social codes of society or how things are supposed to be done. I did learn it all somewhat during teenage years, but I still don't quite get it.

    Mmm.. I was a pretty active, imaginative child and my little brother was one of my favorite toys when growing up. I did love taking care of him. Overall I wouldn't call my childhood all that crappy (it was the teenage years that I would call hell), I got to run around in the forest, build whatever I felt like building, I got to read lots of books (my mom loved childrens stories) and do stuff independently. I had no problems with inconsistency when growing up, since nearly everything was inconsistent or dependant on my father's moods, or at least I wasn't told of any plans or allowed to affect them.

    I like the profile of an INJ child, I can really relate to it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaded Idealist View Post
    Then I remember being about 8 or 9 years old and sort of discovering on my own that I liked rock music. I remember then telling the other kids in my neighbourhood (all of whom were hip-hop fans) about my newfound musical preference, only to have them tell me there was something "satanic" or "bad" about the music. I went ahead and believed it even though this was utterly confusing to me. I mean, these were some of the delinquent hoodlums that liked to bully me, and they couldn't even explain to my satisfaction why their taste in misogynistic faux-gangster rhymes was somehow wholesome compared to guitar and drumkit music.
    This is funny. I remember vividly when I first heard rock/metal music. I hadn't cared for music before it at all, but I happened to accidentally see a Nightwish music video at age 10 and sat glued to the tv for the next couple of hours. Thankfully I didn't go around sharing my music preferance at the time.

  10. #30
    Member Jaded Idealist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    34

    Default

    I still feel as if I don't understand people, or the social codes of society or how things are supposed to be done. I did learn it all somewhat during teenage years, but I still don't quite get it.
    My Ti is now developed enough to the point where I can understand basic social codes and patterns among people simply by intuitive observation and analogy, and even copy and follow them in a half-believable way. Needless to say, this way of learning social codes and mores does not necessarily inculcate the highest respect for them. My philosophical bent makes me sort out the behaviors I observe into degrees of good and bad, and act accordingly.

    I would say that my childhood was more tolerable than my teen years only because at a younger age I was more oblivious and confused. When you begin to sort out all the hypocrisy and the vanity, it can leave you paralyzed.

    This is funny. I remember vividly when I first heard rock/metal music. I hadn't cared for music before it at all, but I happened to accidentally see a Nightwish music video at age 10 and sat glued to the tv for the next couple of hours. Thankfully I didn't go around sharing my music preferance at the time.
    I was actually pretty fond of the classical music (especially the more emotive and epic pieces) I got to hear in my elementary music classes, and I'm still a fan of classical music.

    Nightwish isn't quite my cup of tea (I'm more a fan of those gothic metal bands that avoid stereotypical themes and commercialization such as Paradise Lost and Virgin Black), but one question: why are you thankful you didn't share your preference at the time? I've always imagined Europeans as being a more musically cosmopolitan set.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] INFJ Compatibility - INFJ's Romantic Match?
    By shadowstormz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 339
    Last Post: 07-17-2014, 06:09 AM
  2. [INFJ] Psychic INFJ's?
    By shadowstormz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 04-19-2012, 11:18 AM
  3. [INFJ] INFJs, how did your childhood environment/s shape you?
    By Spry in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-16-2010, 05:34 PM
  4. [INFJ] INFJ organizational strategies
    By Scruffy1123 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-14-2009, 02:45 AM
  5. [INFJ] Any INFJ girls?
    By findthejake in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 157
    Last Post: 05-11-2008, 04:58 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO