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  1. #1
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Question ENFJ Women: Do You Like Ignoring?

    I went out with a girl I'm pretty sure is an ENFJ, and we had a lovely time. When we parted, she said we should hang out again. I tried contacting her, and got nothing.

    So I hung out with another girl, and she's taken Myers-Briggs and scored ENFJ. We had a lovely time, and when we parted, she said we should hang out again. Tried contacting her, and got the same results as with the other.

    Then I talked to my ISTJ friend who's had a long-term relationship with an ENFJ girl, and he said the exact same thing happened to him when he and his girlfriend first met.

    What's the deal?
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
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  2. #2
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Eh? :-\

    What is defined as "ignoring" anyway? One phone call? Five? Twenty?

  3. #3
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Hah, I'm not sure. Maybe it's not an ENFJ thing.

    My friend told me that was his girlfriend's way of "acknowledging" him.

    Maybe this topic isn't relevant, so you can just... ignore it. (Haha!)
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  4. #4
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Can I be an enfj woman ? (say yes)

    I can be very good at ignoring, I swear.
    (say yes!)
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

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  5. #5
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm already deliciously ignoring you, Mr. Eck.

  6. #6
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i had a similar situation. at first it was upsetting but i was pretty quickly nonchalant about the whole thing. the weird thing was the girl always seemed to like me way more than i liked her, at times a good bit of melodrama and you-know-how-i-feel-about-you declaratory kind of messages over and over and over.

    at the same time, i think she seriously had trouble feeling soooo much responsibility to so many others, and she really wasn't in touch with what was good for her. she had been a helper for so long, at times when she wasn't taking charge she just wanted something/someone to swoop in and take care of everything. she was a very strong person but, if left alone to Ti, she started to self-destruct.

    without some Ti, the ability of enfjs to prioritize their own values is very difficult. i have tertiary Ti and it is fucking disastrous at times when i don't use it at all. it just feels like floating along without being in touch of your own inner needs. even if you are very in-touch with your outer plans/desires/hopes for the world and those around you. your ability to grab them and focus them and ground them in themselves makes you a greater priority. this is so crucial in my own relationships as an nfj, i love what good t does for me.

  7. #7
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    I don't know if this applies or not, but I am notorious among friends and family for NOT ANSWERING MY PHONE. This happens even for the people I care about the most. I've put a lot of thought into why I do this. I've come up with a few reasons:

    1. I hate phone interaction. I prefer face-to-face interaction.

    2. I feel like they are invading my time and I am invading theirs. As selfish as it sounds, I want to talk to people on my own terms and time frame.

    I wouldn't necessarily say it is because I am too BUSY to answer the phone; I simply make a conscious decision not to. But this decision does not reflect my values toward the individual at all.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Sometimes it's easy to ignore people unintentionally.. especially when you are running around trying to help/please so many people me and my ENFJ bF have this trait in common. Another problem is that we both are surrounded by peoplebut we love to be alone totally un 'E' likke I know but it's a trait we both seem to have
    ... couldn't drag me away

    eljko Ranatovic: argus
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  9. #9
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Hmmm, that doesn't sound like an ENFJ thing to do... that sounds more ENFP. I think an Fe dom would be much better at making and keeping those kind of social obligatory promises.

    Have you tried calling or contacting either of these people again?

    When people ignore me and I don't know them very well and I'm interested in getting to know them better, I will make a couple attempts and then move on, no hard feelings. Well, sometimes hard feelings if they expressed all this interest and made promises (even if it's just the promise of "I'll call you") but such is life!
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #10
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Yeah, this sounds Fi over Fe. I admit that I have definite experience with only male ENFJs, but they are great at keeping in touch. They don't let relationships die if they really care about you. Hate to say it, buuuuut.....maybe she's just not that into you?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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