[ENFJ] ENFJ Women: Do You Like Ignoring?

[Domino]

The only time I ignore people is if I'm having an intolerable conflict with them and cannot bear to deal with them - not usually anger, but profound hurt. I also ignore toxic people until they go away because I have to protect myself.

 

[Unkindloving]

The only time I ignore people is if I'm having an intolerable conflict with them and cannot bear to deal with them - not usually anger, but profound hurt. I also ignore toxic people until they go away because I have to protect myself.

This.

I usually seem and act angry when there is a conflict of that nature, but that is how I unwillingly shield the deeper layer of actual hurt.
I also further ignore people if I feel some degree of guilt over being driven to ignore them in the first place. This is especially true of toxic people with some redeemable qualities and potential.

Another aspect that I'm dealing with currently is trying to skillfully evade social life vs self preservation. I'm inclined to ignore people so that I don't have to acknowledge any guilt I have about turning down their offers to hit the town. I have nothing against them, but having to constantly reject offers makes me feel guilty about trying to look out for myself. Raaaah!

 

[Domino]

This.

I usually seem and act angry when there is a conflict of that nature, but that is how I unwillingly shield the deeper layer of actual hurt.

Sometimes it's the only thing that will stave off the tears or a release of emotion that I can't take back/conceal. I have been so mortified and humiliated over the years by not being able to keep the mask on my face that I got better and better at it, but only through a very few ways because masking Fe is nearly impossible. How do you draw attention away from the rock that just sent ripples out through the water?

I also further ignore people if I feel some degree of guilt over being driven to ignore them in the first place. This is especially true of toxic people with some redeemable qualities and potential.

I know a person like this and I want to strangle him. And the only way to prevent that is to ignore him.

Another aspect that I'm dealing with currently is trying to skillfully evade social life vs self preservation. I'm inclined to ignore people so that I don't have to acknowledge any guilt I have about turning down their offers to hit the town. I have nothing against them, but having to constantly reject offers makes me feel guilty about trying to look out for myself. Raaaah!

This is truly a problem with people who will no doubt take it personally if you told them the truth. I'm fortunately friends with people who have an understanding for my need to help myself, esp with the pain problems. If I can't get to the phone, you will hear from me soon. If I can't come out and see you, I will plague you later. With my ENTJ bff, I even resorted to writing her paper letters because it was all I could do huddled up in pain.

As you get older, you can more and more decisively say "I can't" or even "I choose not to" with less and less guilt.

 

[Glycerine]

Can't you just say something came up or I am sorry but I really don't feel up to it? I have noticed that people react much better to that than ignoring or lying (regarding the normal people).

Edit: Regarding my last post, I was talking about toxic people or individuals who I don't want to deal with.

 

[Domino]

Can't you just say something came up or I am sorry but I really don't feel up to it?

I employ these regularly, mostly because it's the truth.

 

[A window to the soul]

I went out with a girl I'm pretty sure is an ENFJ, and we had a lovely time. When we parted, she said we should hang out again. I tried contacting her, and got nothing.

lolz! :x

That doesn't sound familiar for ENFJ. Seriously, I'm sorry to hear things played out that way. I love ENFJ's for being so brutally honest about their feelings. Except when they're negative and directed at me.

 

[JoSunshine]

If I'm interested, I'll pick up the phone or call you back...period.

 

[Domino]

If I'm interested, I'll pick up the phone or call you back...period.

Heck, you won't have to call - I'll be standing inside your clothes with you playing hard to get.

 

[JoSunshine]

Heck, you won't have to call - I'll be standing inside your clothes with you playing hard to get.

Now that's talent!