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  1. #11
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
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    Say what? I can't speak for all ENFP's but I keep my commitments. Call people and call them back. Do hate phoning though but I force myself.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

  2. #12
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Who knows what it is? I just saw the pattern and wrongly assumed it had to do with the personality type. I'm being a bit stereotypical, really.

    For those who say this is an Fi thing, one of these girls I think is more of an ENTJ with a high amount of Fi. But, again, who knows?
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  3. #13
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    It's because they have enough on their plate and they aren't gonna answer the phone because they fear that they won't be able to give you their 110 percent.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Edit: Double posted technical difficulties with the I Phone
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  5. #15
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    I went out with a girl I'm pretty sure is an ENFJ, and we had a lovely time. When we parted, she said we should hang out again. I tried contacting her, and got nothing.

    So I hung out with another girl, and she's taken Myers-Briggs and scored ENFJ. We had a lovely time, and when we parted, she said we should hang out again. Tried contacting her, and got the same results as with the other.

    Then I talked to my ISTJ friend who's had a long-term relationship with an ENFJ girl, and he said the exact same thing happened to him when he and his girlfriend first met.

    What's the deal?
    Did you say anything rude or inappropriate? Maybe you did and didn't even know it? You may have turned them off some how? I've ignored guys for that reason, sometimes it only takes 1 comment.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  6. #16
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    This is more of an ENFP thing. Out of sight, out of mind.
    As some others already said, Fe stands for polite rejection. Are you sure in said girl's type?

  7. #17
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    I'm not sure if I'm an ENFJ or ENFP, but I can tell you that I tend to ignore things/people when I am bored with them. If I like you, I would obviously respond, but also if I strongly dislike you or am angry with you. If we're in a conflict and I'm upset, chances are I won't give you the cold shoulder. In fact, I rarely EVER do that. I can't resist but to speak my mind.

    If you are one of those people I wasn't having an interesting conversation with on the first date, and you text me later and say, "Hey, what's up?"...yeah, I will probably ignore you. It's the easiest way to get out of the situation...pretending I'm busy or my phone died so I don't have to tell you that you're boring me...

    I guess that's maybe not the best way to handle it, but I have a tendency to do it.

    She might have thought you were a nice guy and that she didn't have a terrible time, but she probably wasn't that interested. Now that she's not face to face, she doesnt have to say nice things and put on a big fat fake smile that ends up leading you on (and she KNOWS she's being misleading and feels bad about it)...she can just pretend she doesn't have her phone. If she were really into you, she would definitely reply.....unless by some twist of fate she actually DID lose her phone, lol. Unlikely.

    This is what I naturally tend to do. I feel bad about it. I would like to say to someone, "Look, you're boring me. Let's not do this again." But that's just so...harsh.

    That's definitely not to say you're a boring person. Different people have different interests, tastes, and familiarities. If the conversation was really an interesting one for her, she probably would have replied back. But being an ENF, sometimes I can fool people into thinking I am really into a conversation when I'm just not. I can't count the number of guys I've led on in my life...and I don't blame them for getting the idea that I'm really into them. It's mainly because I like to encourage people to be themselves and try to have a good time -- I bring out people's personalities. But at the same time, I should really try to tone it down with a guy I know is interested in me when I just don't like him back. It's very hard to do, knowing that I may make him uncomfortable by showing my disinterest.

  8. #18
    Member Ethelred the Unready's Avatar
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    I genuinely like people and love to interact with them.
    But if someone starts to hurt me with their actions or comments my first line of defence is to ignore them until they give up and leave me alone. It usually takes some time, as people get attached to me easily, but it usually works.
    We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull; some have weird names and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.

  9. #19
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i think with both ENF types it can happen that we didn't really like you as much as we appeared to have liked you, and we shy away from letting someone down outright, so we tend not to be very communicative in a situation like that. and then you would get a lack of communication afterwards.

    or there were other reasons that got in the way between the date and now, but we figured it would just be easiest to not contact. because what could you say, without hurting the person?

    i think a lot of times with ENFs we are just much more private than we appear... much more going on below the surface driving our behavior than people tend to expect because we seem so extraverted, but we hide a lot.

    i hate talking on the phone too, except with very close family/friends, fwiw.

  10. #20
    Glycerine
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    I ignore people because i completely forget or I am trying to doorslam them. I am much more likely to be responsive but will be completely dismissive and make the whole situation indirectly uncomfortable for the other person.

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